Can men ever win? This is just women vs men humor?

Question

The Answer is "No"
The question: Can men ever win?
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your *** and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're an insensitive *******.
If you thump her, it's wife bashing.
If she thumps you, it's self defense.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.
If you don't, you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.
If you don't, you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.
If you don't, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often, you're oversexed.
If you don't, there must be someone else.

This is just a joke ladies, so don't get defensive. Not serious about this, but it does have some points to it, though. And women complain about double standards, lol.

Don't worry I got one you will like as far as jokes are concerned.

Don't worry, I got a joke you will like too ladies that I will post next.

Answer 1

Haha some women just like to hear themselfs speak and nag.

Answer 2

Wow, sounds like you've been around the wrong kind of women. Not all women are like that. . You will find women who like to stay at home and and then you'll find some that are okay with you staying home. You will find some women who are happy that you're happy with your job and not how much money you make. Some women like compliments and some don't . Some women like it when men cry. ( I do because it shows that they have feelings)However, it's not right for a man or women to "thump" anyone. Both ways, it's wrong. I don't know where you're from or how you meet women, but they sound bitchy and confused. Most women aren't like that. (I would know because I'm not like that) Sounds like you need to get a bigger social circle. You are seriously generalizing and being lazy. It's easy to say "All women are like that." then it is to get off your butt and find out the truth. ; )

Answer 3

Yes, men can win. They do it all the time. So do women.

I suppose I'm a sexist according to that list. Too bad; that's life and THIS is the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, where you can do what you want as long as you're not hurting another (and as long as it doesn't conflict with various bureaucratic laws and regulations that almost completely defeat the purpose of many philosophies set forth by our FOREFATHERS.)

On second thought, I don't think anyone can ever truly win. It's all very temporary and fleeting.