My fiance and I moved away from his 3 kids (Ages 6, 5 and 3)about a year ago and we have been trying to spend time with them on our regularly scheduled visits but his ex won't let us have the kids! We've called the police and made reports but we're at the point of deciding not to make the 8 hour trip to go visit because we already know she won't let us see them! What should we do?
2007-03-23 10:06:33 · 20 answers · asked by Terry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't you get it? The reason she won't let HIM see HIS kids, is because YOU are there. Why are you going? If he wants to see his kids, she most likely would let him. She resents YOU, not him. Tell him to ask her if HE can come to see HIS kids, without you being there. I'll bet she'll let him. If not, then get a court order....bet he gets to see them then!
2007-03-23 10:14:09 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he have court orders for scheduled visits? If so, I know you contacted the police but, I actually go down to the station and speak with a Sergeant, Chief, Lt...anyone other then an officer. If that doesn't work, try notifying the court that the mother is in violation of their contract.
I comend you and your fiance for making these long trips in an effort to see his children despite what the mother is doing. If you can't get any answers from anyone before your next visit, I'd phone the mother and ask her if she be willing to let you see the children before making the trip. If she refuses, I prob. wouldn't bother going until the police or the courts take care of the issue. Good Luck.
2007-03-23 17:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by galaciel21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not to do anything! You are an outsider, and fan the flames.
First of all, I think it is AWFUL that he moved so far away from his kids. They are his first priority.
She is in comtempt of court, if you have court-ordered visitation. CAll your lawyer.
Tell her what he says, and then insist that you get to see them. CAll in the government if you must, as a LAST resort!Sit in her driveway and play with them there, if you must!
Father must do all this negotiating because fiance is looked upon a meddling floozy, no matter what she is really like.
Don't use the kids as firewood. Write them, send them fun stuff in the mail, give them video cams and let them see/talk to you everyday. You can do this, if you make it #1.
I am happy and proud that you are still trying. Be a good daddy first and a fiance 2nd, then an emplyee, then an ex.
We all pay for it , if you don't.
2007-03-23 17:25:53 · answer #3 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the local police department before you leave and tell them that you are traveling 8 hours to have visitation whith the children and that you want someone there when you pick them up. Have a copy of the visitation order with you if you have one. If you don't have one, there isn't much that can be done. It is her word against his..
2007-03-23 17:10:24 · answer #4 · answered by Jacuzzi Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will have to get his attorney (locally in the town his ex lives) to file a motion with the courts.. the court will order her to allow the visitation. In fact, his attorney may also motion that the next time you visit, the police/sherrif may accompany him to her residence and if she refuses she could be arrested for contempt of court. Of course you dont want he kids to see it but if the court orders her to allow the deserved visitation and she refuses.. she's just hurting herself and the children
2007-03-23 17:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by drew71670 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if the kids were that important to you and hubby you would never have moved away. This sounds like a excuse. This can never work, cause if a man does not take care of his responsibilities as a father he will never take care of your needs. You guy are living on borrowed time.
2007-03-23 17:16:56 · answer #6 · answered by Peggy G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cannot civilly communicate with his ex on this matter independent of you, then clearly, this is a matter that must be conveyed to the courts in writing and by appearance. Days and times must be documented to show proof of her intent not to allow his children to visit with you both. Until you are willing to follow through with this, he's probably going to continue to hit this "stone wall" with her.
She's angry...about something and using her kids to send the message. Either he gets to the root of her anger and tries to mitigate it, or he takes her to court.
It is, that simple.
Grace
2007-03-23 17:11:20 · answer #7 · answered by bunnyONE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is a court ordered visitation, you need to tell the courts, not the cops. She can go to jail if she does not comply with the visitation requirements.
2007-03-23 17:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by Angie A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on the situation. were they married or just together? either way it is because he is with you that this problem is going on. she may have issue with you coming with him to see the children. Or they may have ended on a bad note and she is hurting him through the children either way the children are the ones who are left in pain. I can only suggest that you keep doing what you can to get him to see his children with out conflict for both him or the mother. Remember, Children see and copy what their parents do and neither parent wants to see their child grown to be conflicted.
2007-03-23 17:23:15 · answer #9 · answered by amber/topaz1214 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you already know the answer,do nothing,I fully understand
the father,s position and if there,s away,he will try.His ex is
using the kid to hurt him and in doing so,hurting the kid,s as well.There is nothing to be gained,but pain.
2007-03-23 17:19:12 · answer #10 · answered by GARY R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋