i started dating this guy 3 months ago. He is almost 18. He was nice at first, but then it changed. Now he takes advantage of me and pressures me for sex, doing drugs, and drinking. He comes over when my parents arent home and forces me to do things that i dont want to do. He sometimes stays over if i am alone. (he lives like 5 minutes from me so he can walk to my house) He also hits me sometimes. Whenever I try to break up with him he just ignores me by kissing me or he just keeps talking. I have bruises and cuts, but i am more afraid of what will happen if I have sex with him. I try not too but i sometimes do bc im afraid he will hurt me if i dont. he is a lot stronger than me so i am scared of him. I dont know if i am doing something wrong, because it is getting worse. My mom is really busy and i cant talk to her about this. Plus she would kill me if she found out. can someone who's a mom tell me what you would say.anyone else, you tell me too. i need h
2007-03-23 09:59:56 · 36 answers · asked by SamS 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
its going to be hard sweetie but you have to tell your mom.....maybe if you have a close realtionship with a aunt or uncle try to tell them first and then they can help you tell your mom. if you dont stop him he will end up getting worse to the point where he cant help but hurt you. if no one in your family cares or believes you , then you have to go to the cops..... good luck and stay away from him even if you have to lock the doors and call the cops.....stay safe<3
2007-03-24 06:52:26 · answer #1 · answered by ♥sexy_love♥ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, the minute he makes you do something you dont want to, its rape. It may not be sex, but anything close to it. I know what that is like cuz i was in the same situation at your age, I may only be two years older, but I've matured to know what is right. The minute it seemed like he was crossing the line you should have told someone, it might not be your mom cuz i understand the discomfort, but it could be a respected or trusted adult, and i know i sould like those ladies dat go talk to u at school and tell u all this stuff..but honestly its true. You dont want things to get worse. Maybe a trusted teacher, or an older cuzn..It really would help u feel better and u dont wanna get mentally shut down because of the way sum guy is treating you at such a young age.
2007-03-23 11:13:01 · answer #2 · answered by yea thats me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your mom. You shouldn't have started dating an 18 year old in the first place but that's besides the point. If your mom refuses to listen to you than you need to tell a teacher. File charges of rape, battery, and any charges relating to the drugs and alcohol. Then he'll go to court and jail for a long time hopefully. Don't stay in this relationship because if you do it will only get worse for you. He might kill you or get you pregnant and he may harm you or the baby. And if you get pregnant you will need to get out. Better to get out now than wait until you get pregnant by him or worse end up dead because dear that is what will happen if you stay with him.
2007-03-23 12:32:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel you're exaggerating a bit when you say your mom is too busy or that she will 'kill' you. By all means go to her immediately! Or go to a school counselor, or the police. This guy is a bully- he'll probably run and hide his head in the sand if someone his own size approaches him.
This guy is breaking the law and can be jailed for what he is doing. Have more respect for yourself, don't let anyone push you around- he hasn't the right nor does anyone else.
2007-03-23 11:05:38 · answer #4 · answered by Swami Ibme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG I hate to read this. I lived with an abusive man for three years. That was enough, more than enough. What is going to happen to you if you tell your mother? Is she going to be angry with you? She shouldn't be this is NOT your fault. You need help. If you truly feel you cannot go to your mother then you need to call one of the following agencies...1. the police 2. victim witness [or whatever place they have where you live that helps victims] 3. your local battered women's shelter you don't have to stay there, but you can at least get help. 4. A school counselor 5. Someone from church or some other community project.
Please beleive me, it's not your fault you are doing nothing wrong. The problem is his. Not yours, you are so young, please don't allow this to happen. You need to stop this. You can go to court and get a restraining order against this kid. You are in REAL danger, it NEVER gets better it gets worse. Your mother will not kill you if she found out. I promise you that.
Please please get help before you end up dead. Yes, that is a very real possiblity. Before I left my ex I wound up in the hospital with actual bruises shaped like hands all over me. I was stabbed with an ice pick.
After I recovered I became a Domestic Violence counslorer and I worked with young girls. Teens who went through what you are going through, you are not alone in this. You have to tell before something even worse happens. Tell today!!! PLEASE!
2007-03-23 10:33:01 · answer #5 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm not a mom but you need to tell someone.even if it is not your mom!it will just get worse if you don't.i have a friend that her boyfriend is doing the same thing(except the drug thing)and now she has a baby!and he still hits her and she is also afraid to tell anyone because of what happened!if i was you i would tell someone you trust!like a a best friend, a teacher,or a preacher.it will help you a lot and you don't have to worry about what he will do to you because if you tell someone he cant touch you!
2007-03-23 10:11:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell someone you trust to help you. This is a dangerous situation. This guy is violent. Tell your mom or a school counselor. If you don't do something now, you could end up hurt or dead. I teach ten dateing Violence at our local high school. You are not alone. Unfortunately they all think that they can handle this situation because " its different and he loves me" Thats BS if he loved you he would not hurt you. Noone has the right to hurt anyone. You are better than that and worth so much more. Please call your local battered womans shelter and talk to them. if you don't stop this now and you do get away from him, the next guy will be worse!! I speak from experience, please listen.
2007-03-23 11:41:25 · answer #7 · answered by Sweetie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well for the first start how did u met him and is he old than u? i am not a mom but i havea mom that always was bussy but still had time to hear me at. i know that u may think that she will kill u but u sooner or later she will find out by u or by someone else. it is better that she finds out by u. even though u r scared u have to. this will help u to talk to her and release the stress and your fears out to her. this will help your mom understand u more and give u advise that u want to hear and know. trust me moms have the best advises you can get anywhere. GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-03-23 13:06:54 · answer #8 · answered by Kari 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never been in this situation before, but my suggestion would be to possibly file for a restraining order and abuse charges, and once he turns 18 if he hasn't stopped, he can be charged with rape.
Tell an authority figure, and call the police, if you have a really good friend whos parents you know, talk to your friend and have them ask their own parents for help for you.
I think your mom would definitely be more worried and scared as appose to mad at you, she would be mad at you, but she would get over it because you did the right thing by stopping it and telling her.
2007-03-23 10:08:06 · answer #9 · answered by spiffehdoo 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
This is abuse. Text him to break up with him and don't let him know when your parents are gone. Talk to your mom because she does have time, she'll make time. Don't drink, do drugs or have it with him. It'll just make everything worse. He'll take more advantage. Have a talk with a friend, teacher or guidance counselor. Tell him how you are scared and too young. Tell him that you can't deal with abusive boyfriends.
2007-03-23 10:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by GT Star_Gyal 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋