I don't know ??

Question

My mom and dad were extremely upset when I started to get interested in homosexuality. How do I know if I'm a homosexual when I'm physically attracted to other men but emotionally attracted to women? Does that mean I'm bisexual? Anyway, my mom tells me that homosexuality is nothing but sex. My mom told me of an experience of her own when she was in college. She was in art major and she had to sketch REAL NAKED men and women. She said that she had nasty thoughts towards both genders for a second or two but decided to control herself. She said that you are only a homosexual when you start participating in homosexual behavior. She said that physical attraction to the same sex is normal, but acting it out isn't. She said that self-control is necessary. Do you agree with this? Am I gay?

My mom told me that I'm really attractive-looking and that I have a really nice personality. She said that when we're walking around the grocery store she can see girls looking at me. I don't act like a girl, but I don't act like a rough guy either. She said I'm definitely not gay because gay people are supposedly unattractive and because gay people are supposed to be either really feminine or really masculine, nothing in between. I thought that was extreme. I've seen very attractive gay men before(and lesbians, too. They were couples, but neither of the girls looked or behaved like a man.)

Your such a pervert, JR! I would never think of attacking a 4 year old. If so, I might as well attack my nine year old(cute) brother. Sorry, but I'm not interested in hurting anyone.

Diegays3, you're definetely a homophobe. Just like my fifteen year old brother. I'm certain there were cases in which you had fantasies of someone of the same sex. Everyone does once in a while.

Answer 1

Dude...sex with a guy is very cool. Try it some day.

Answer 2

>>>How do I know if I'm a homosexual when I'm physically attracted to other men but emotionally attracted to women?

Usually it is not 100% a certain direction. It kind of depends on who you hang out with. Are your friends alternative or strictly religious ? Or a mixture perhaps... I have met gay men who have never had sex with other men, but they do make out with men only. They tried making out with women, but they would want sex after making out. Someday you might feel totally different than you do now. Things might change when you get away to college. The important thing is that you are happy and you feel not peer pressured into doing something too quick. Someday you might feel emotional towards a man or you might feel sexual toward a woman. Who knows... well eventually you will know. *smile*

>>>Does that mean I'm bisexual? >>>

You might be bisexual. Only you can decide that. Choosing your sexual orientation can be a slow and weird process. Some people choose it right away and feel very strongly who they are attracted to and some people are more subtle about it. But if things are too subtle, then people can often just choose later or sometimes never choose. Its hard not to do what our parents want us to do, but also we can't be exact clones of our parents either.

>>>Anyway, my mom tells me that homosexuality is nothing but sex. >>>

Then hetrosexuality is nothing but sex as well ? Doesn't quite add up if you do the math.

>>>She said that you are only a homosexual when you start participating in homosexual behavior. She said that physical attraction to the same sex is normal, but acting it out isn't. She said that self-control is necessary. Do you agree with this? Am I gay?>>>

Some people define bisexual as having acted sexually to both men and women. And some people use the term bi to mean that they have not done anything sexual with either men or women. Other people don't use labels at all. That said, people have been attracted to the same sex since time began. The greeks were ok with same gender sex and the romans also. Even Dick Cheney the vice president has a lesbian daughter and he is ok with it. There are even a few countries in Europe were you can get married to the same gender. It is hard to say why your mom is so strong in her opinion about this. She doesn't want you to be hurt and seems to be trying to protect you, but over-protecting is not healthy either. I'm sure she loves you, and hopefully she will love you no matter what you feel in your heart.

Jonathan

Answer 3

Every mother dreams of the "ideal" for their own children. When something threatens to shatter the ideals they have set, they strive to make things as it should. This might be the case with your mom. She's still in the denial state, thinking it can be helped.
The mere fact that you are attracted to men physically is a dead giveaway that you're not straight. Only time will tell if you are a bi or a gay.
If you are part of a certain religion and you want to keep it, you should definitely refrain from acting out on that physical attraction.
On the lighter side, curious but I, too, am an art major and have seen naked men and women, pose as models but I only saw the aesthetic of the human body and have never felt/thought nasty towards either genders. I guess the models who posed just weren't my type. =)

Answer 4

I am a gay person. I am very happy but not gay in the sense of what you are all commenting about.

This issue has only surfaced in the last ten years or so. Why not lead normal lives and understand that your feelings are real but you do not have to act them out. Everyone has a right and left brain and some people use them.

Having sex with someone other than the opposite sex is not natural or normal. I would seek professional help to avoid shortening your life by contacting AIDS!

Answer 5

Hello, your mom was right with the answer she gave you. I just want to tell you that it is quit normal to have a physical attraction towards the opposite sex, your mum has told u how to overcome that by self discipline. and again she has told you the brief history about herself so, stop memorizing the history date, but rather learn from it, if not it will repeat itself on you. Others may be going into sex before marriage or homosexuality is because they are ignorant danger which can lead to their premature death. and remember premarital sex, homosexuality is sin before God.
I will really appreciate it if you read these bible verses they help you if really you want to be far from it , 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Timothy 1:10, so take good care of your self and don't waste your time on pleasure that is just for a while.

Answer 6

Your probably just unsure about yourself. Homosexuality is when a gender loves their own gender. Maybe when you say physically, you may not realize this but you wish you had there physical looks. Maybe you aren't happy for the way you look. I have always looked at being homosexuality as more emotional and mental then I do physical. For self control for every time you like a mans body think how a women's body looks even sweeter. If you like both genders your not gay your bisexual.

Answer 7

Your mom is sooo wrong.I can tell you that most of homosexual men are attractive men,and also full of muscles because they care about their appeareance.Well in other way some homo like to be feminine but that doesn't mean thay are unnattractive.Maybe your mom told you that to get your truth thinking out of your mind(a mother wouldn't like her son to be gay).When it comes to sexuality you just need to hear your own concience voice.This a new era and everybody knows that are homo everywere,and that they have the right to love anyone they want to.So what you can do is give you some time,maybe to make friends of both sex,or even go on some chats (serious ones)Sometimes they help.

Answer 8

Your Mom loves you and wants what is best for you, but she is dead wrong. You need to talk things over with a counselor who is reputable and NOT homophobic. I am sorry to say that your Mom IS very controlling and is definitely pushing you in a manipulative way to be straight. It sounds to me that you are either gay or bi, neither of which your Mom will support at this juncture. Find a young person's comig out group which will usually help you sort through these issues with some integrity and not push you in any one direction. Be patient with yourself. The truth will win out, BUT you must be ready to accept yourself and your own inner truths! Best of luck!

Answer 9

Sketching real naked people is a normal part of being an art major. I think your mom needs help.

Homosexuality is not about sex, it's about loving who you're attracted to. Love is all that matters.

Answer 10

Only you can truly answer this question. Do your dreams reveal anything? In any case, this confusion will, eventually, clear itself up, as long as you are honest with yourself. One comment regarding your mother's opinions; she is quite wrong about the stereotypes of gay men. I go to a local gay pub, and you would be amazed at the variety of people there! Nearly every week I see guys that you would never pick out on the street as being gay. There are many, many, regular average guys that just happen to be queer, just as there are many average guys who just happen to be straight.

Answer 11

No, what your mum said is rubbish. If you are gay (attracted only to men) Bi (attracted to both sexes) or straight (attracted to women) it is perfectly possible and healthy to have normal relationships with the people you are attracted to. The nonsense you have been fed comes solely from homophobes...

You are figuring things out... but trust me! there is information online - google it... don't automatically trust what your mum said, her prejudices are showing... self-control is certainly necessary - but there is absolutely nothing wrong with having relationships with other men.

To me, personally, it sounds as though you are gay. Nothing wrong with that - gay men often have very close women friends... and friendship is what comes from emotional attraction, without physical attraction.