Motivation and intentions of others. Do you try to work them out or is this impossible?

Answer 1

very deep Q.
I would concentrate on building you own self awarness and understand what motivates you first. This is something you can control. Accept that we are all different and its how YOU deal with that, that is important

Answer 2

Ooh. I'm rather naive I'm afraid. I usually take people at face value.

Perhaps that's why I only find myself wondering about motivation and intentions after the event!
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Answer 3

Depends. If their actions will affect me i will most certainly try to figure out someones intentions and motivations. Experience has taught me that people who have nothing to hide generally don't mind curiousity. Those that do are generally very wary of it.

Answer 4

Many times, it despends on others. If they don't accept your suggestion or stupid enough to ignore you. Whatever motivation or intention will be in vain.

But if others are good listeners, yes it is possible.

Answer 5

You can guess what other peoples intentions are, but as they are only guesses, its no good in the eyes of the court if you know what i mean.

Humans are irrational, unlike computers. We can guess what computers are going to do, but humans are completly different beings, even if you think you know them, they could do something for a completely different reason, or no reason at all, they just did it.

Answer 6

Before I stopped work as a Training Manager, motivation and intention of others was pretty key to my skills. I had to motivate my team, I had to conduct interviews for vacancies within my team and further within the company from basic entry level to middle management. And then I had to train those people and my own team of trainers to train them.
So professionally, yes, I constantly questioned and more often than not, successfully worked out their motivation and intentions.

Personally, I found after giving up work 5 years ago, I have wound down a lot in that respect. Initially, I was still in "professional" mode so my mind thought that way. 5 years later, with no professional responsibility, I can only relate to my friends and family. Family wise, I get it right every time. Friends wise, I tend to give the benefit of the doubt and invariably end up being taken huge advantage of. Have realised this strongly with one friend recently and I've adopted her attitude towards her (if that makes sense). Haven't contacted her (whereas it was always me making the approach, arranging get togethers etc). She hasn't contacted me in 3 weeks (and she may be wondering why I haven't been in touch) but I'm still gonna stay cool and NOT make the approach. Just testing really if she realises that! I keep telling myself she's oblivious to it (ie me giving the benefit of the doubt again that it's not deliberate on her part). OR maybe she just doesn't value me that much as a friend so hasn't contacted me!
It will soon come out.....cos I can't just NOT get in touch, even if it's to ask why she hasn't been and explain why I haven't....as in why is it always me who gets in touch with you.

PS We've been "friends" for 3 and a half years. Every week she, her 3yr old son and in the last year, her baby daughter have always come to me once or twice a week at lunchtime and I've fed and watered them (and so her son and mine could play together). Now my son's at school so not here at lunchtime, not home till 4pm, but for a while, they still came to me for a few weeks at lunchtime and for the afternoon till I had to go pick my son up. But I thought that unfair on my son who wanted to get together with hers. So was kind of hoping for an after school invitation, which we did get once, but we had to leave because no food or drink was offered even after 2hrs so had to get son home to feed him!
I don't hold this against her because I maybe naively put it down to obliviousness rather than deliberation.
But just once, I'd like it to be her who invites us and gives us a meal and drink alongside her kids.

In professional mode, I'd have distanced myself very early on and not thought twice about it. In personal mode, I probably should have done the same thing a bit later. Now, I'm STILL giving benefit of the doubt but soon the time will come when I'll have to confront her (civilly)!
Sorry to have ranted!

Answer 7

i often ask the question why does a person do this or that and come up with a number of possible answers but unless you actually ask that particular person the question and they give an honest answer then you cant really work it out