For my resume how does this sound?

Question

Objective: To join a successful organization that provides a positive environment that allows room for growth with opportunity to learn. I would also like to put into practice my business skills achieved through work experience and education that I am receiving in college.



Work Experience: Libreria Christiana Impacto (Christian Bookstore) - San Juan, PR(October2006-December2006)
Manager
•Opened and renovated the closed store.
• Responsible for both Opening and Closing store and all relevant details.
• Had customer focused attitude.
• Handled and accounted for cash.
• Supervised employees and fostered a productive environment.
• Created and executed business proposals.
• Sales experience.
• Restock.




Barbara Ann Roessler Academy(Athletics Department) – San Juan, P.R. (August 2006-October 2006)
Assistant Physical Education Teacher
• Interacted with the students
• Presented new workout routines.
• Maintained the facilities clean and help put back all the gear in its place.




Camp Puma(Summer Camp)– San Juan, P.R. (May 2006-October 2006)
Counselor
• Worked with a group of 15 kids.
•Took them to different stations
•Presented the kids the best summer of their lives.
Related
Experience Language Applications:
• Bilingual: English/Spanish (fluent)

Computer Applications:
• Microsoft Office Suite: Word, Excel, Access, Power Point, and Outlook
• Microsoft Money
• Adobe Photoshop
• Smart System Accounting Program



Education:

• Florida Metropolitan University– North Orlando, Florida (February 2007 - Presently attending)
Bachelors Degree in Business Administration - Management
Volunteer work : Oviedo Police Explorer, served 99 hours of community service and
Received vital skills that have been engraved into my character.



References: Furnished upon request.

Answer 1

Not good.

Use more action verbs to describe what you did.

For instance,

Implemented workout routines to 15 children to ensure safe and effective physical activity.

And you have a lot of things you don't need. "restock" "sales experience. Everyone knows what working at a bookstore implys. Leave that stuff out.

Do a google search of sample resumes. Good luck.

Answer 2

Say the same thing, but keep it brief and to the point, avoid wordiness and too many lists these people are busy and want information and want it fast or they will just pass you up.
Try to take your lists and make a to the point summary that includes all the same info. see examples below.

Objective:Would like to put into practice my business skills and education within a organization that provides a positive environment, allows room for growth, and provides the opportunity to learn.

Barbara Ann Roessler Academy(Athletics Department) – San Juan, P.R. (August 2006-October 2006)
Assistant Physical Education Teacher - While maintaining the facilities, I directly interacted with students and provided them new workout routines.

also really think hard about responsibilities and duties you had. then touch on them, but don't explain fully, see you want them to know what your experience is, but leave them with some questions about specifics, that may lead them to calling you in for a interview.

Answer 3

1st: Most employers like to see an objective targeted at the specific job for which you're applying for

2nd: Your responsibilities and duties are too vague. Take out the less important things. (ex. opening and closing the store) List more on the lines of accomplishments, not necessarily every function you performed on the job.

Some of the details are fine. You just need to place more emphasis on them. You have listed that you supervised employees and handled cash--give numbers. Another tune-up would be where you have put gear back in place (try something along the lines of "responsible for organizing equipment" or "organized equipment on a regular basis"

3rd: Take off the last line about your resumes. Employers no longer expect to see this on a resume. They automatically assume that you will provide references at a later time, such as during or after an interview.

I hope this helps!

Answer 4

First, just go ahead and furnish those referances.

Second, you don't state where you received your degree, it matters.

Third, leave out your "preesntly attending" school, that is not education you have and means nothing.

Fourth, (sorry, but being honest) you sound like a loser. What is with all of the short term jobs? You haven't done anything for more then a couple of months. You are either a loser that gets fired a lot, or a loser that doesn't care about his employers. EIther way, this is not a resume that will get you hired at a good company.

Answer 5

Re-write the objective completely for the job you intend on getting.

Find a thesaurus and begin adding terms which better explain your roles.

I know you weren't the head honcho at these places, but frankly it didn't sound like you did anything from the explanation you gave here.

Make sure it's only one page, you do not have two pages of experience.

Answer 6

sounds like brown-nosing.