baby you gave birth to due to unfaithful actions of its father, how would you react?
This question requires one to suspend reality a bit in order to answer.
2007-03-23 08:51:41 · 15 answers · asked by Mick 3 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Technically this means that the baby is not genetically related to you (and curiously eliminates your right to custody unless he feels you should be permitted said custody) and there's another woman out there with real custodial claim due to genetics.
2007-03-23 08:57:30 · update #1
As far as the baby goes I am sure that I would not be willing to just walk away. I would still want to raise the baby as my own and love it as if I were the biological mother (I guess similar to what I would feel if there had been a hospital mix up and I went home with the wrong child). As far as the man is concerned I really don't know -- it depends on who he was with, if he was in love, if it was still going on, how good of a father is he ... there are too many factors to make a decision (even if it is an impossible hypothetical answer).
By the way I like the question, pay no attention to the grumpy people above -- they have no imagination.
2007-03-23 09:12:02 · answer #1 · answered by ecogeek4ever 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think carrying a baby in my womb would create such an attachment that genetics would matter very little. That’s why I would never agree to be a surrogate. I don’t think I could give a baby to its genetic parents after going through 9 months of pregnancy, labor and delivery.
I would have issues with the man about his unfaithfulness, but I believe they could be resolved, provided that the cheating incident was a temporary lapse of judgment. It would depend a lot on the relationship’s history and whether there had been trust problems before.
Legally, it is a quagmire. Obviously, the baby is the responsibility of the father, but which mother should have legal rights? The one who is the genetic donor, or the one who carried the baby in her womb for 9 months? Your question assumes that the legal rights go to the genetic mother, but I think a good lawyer could win a case for the “surrogate” for lack of a more accurate word. If I am the woman in question, and I am married to the father, and if we have a child together living in our home at the time the baby is born, I think the court would have to consider me a strong candidate for custody of the baby in question.
2007-03-23 17:47:00 · answer #2 · answered by not yet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Babies switched at birth can happen, so your question is not too far fetched. However the way stated is, but I will humor you. If you raise the child as your own only to find out it's not really yours it wont change your love or bond. The only true dilemma is your real child and the family raising them. It would be the moral problem, do you tell them and give the child who you raised and loved for a stranger, or do you keep your secret.
2007-03-23 16:12:45 · answer #3 · answered by mybebegwen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.k. coming from a home where this actually happened..not to me but to my "then" husband. We slipt for 3 weeks, I messed around, got pregnant. Did not know who the Dad was. The whole time of course I hoped it was his, well, turned out it wasn't. He was crushed..we were close and it kinda went away. He lost alot of things for me including respect and trust. He came back a week later, telling me he loved me and he wanted to help me, even though he was not the father of my child. I guess what I'm getting at is this..It doesn't matter how other people feel or what they think, what matters is what you believe and how you plan on handling it. I would've been crushed too..but we were in love and he willingly made a sacrifice that people think would've ruined his rep., but he did it anyways, because he wanted to. So, its completely up to you in what you do..you cant always live up to peoples expectations, then you would only be living someone elses life! Good luck!
2007-03-23 15:59:58 · answer #4 · answered by punky brewster 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
prolly depends on how long i was being lied to. If i found out right after the baby was born and we had no other children together i might end up leaving. But then again it depends on how much I love him and am able to forgive the unfaithfulness.
If the child in question was at least a year old i would try try try to forgive him and be there for the child I loved and took care of for so long.
Hope this helps.
2007-03-23 15:58:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Um, as a mother giving birth, you *are* genetically connected. Your question makes no sense whatsoever. A father being unfaithful has nothing to do with me giving birth to a child not fathered by him. It would be the woman being unfaithful to produce a different father and being the woman, you would have been there.
Your "reality" makes no sense unless this was a test tube baby scenario. In that case, oh heck, it still makes no sense.
2007-03-23 16:01:25 · answer #6 · answered by Enchanted 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i get what your saying, if the positions were switched i would have to say that it would be a hard thing to forgive and forget. but then agian it's not the big things that drive you insane it's the little things. it's not the he cheated that gets you, it's the how did i never notice that something was wrong. but in that situation, i would have to say vows are not to be taken lightly so i would stick around and try to find a way to strengthen the bond example which sounds better (he left after the dna test came back, or he stayed with me despite it all.) the second sounds like a relationship that is going to last in my opinion. so if it were possible to reverse the situations i would try to stick it out.
2007-03-23 21:15:12 · answer #7 · answered by tamara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I cannot get past how this could be done unless the infant was switched at birth.
Regardless, the child is the innocent and I am sure would be in my heart so I would carry on as mother. As for the father, I would be more upset at his deceit than his sexual indiscretion. Honesty goes a very long way with me, a very long way. Deceit on the other hand, goes just as long!
2007-03-23 16:30:22 · answer #8 · answered by Noor al Haqiqa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Interesting question. This happens to men sometimes. And I agree with the first answer you just love the baby because you already attached.
2007-03-23 15:58:17 · answer #9 · answered by Adelaide V 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would feel betrayed by the man, but I could not imagine loving the child any less. I raised the child as my own, loved it as my own...biological kinship does not necessitate love, nor does lack of it exclude it. I would not abandon the child I had come to love as my own. In my mind the child would still be "mine."
2007-03-23 17:03:53 · answer #10 · answered by wendy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋