I'm not sure what I'm really looking for in answer to this, but help!
I'm 34 weeks pregnant, which is why I'm asking in this category.
My b/f just invited his dad over for dinner tonight and lunch tomorrow without asking me.
I feel horrible coz his mum died a few months ago so his dad is all alone, but at the same time I'm tired, and I just want to loll around on the sofa with my tummy out watching my baby move... I know it sounds selfish, but I'm a bit of a mess today and I REALLY don't feel like company. His dad is really hard work (a bit senile and has an odd accent, meaning I have to ask him to repeat everything he says about 10 times...)
I know I sound horrible - but he just turned up and I had no idea.... I'm trying not to be moody with my honey, but it's really hard - couldn't he have just asked me and at least I could have been prepared??!!
I feel like he can be really thoughtless sometimes, he has no idea what it's like being pregnant!
Thanks
2007-03-23 08:28:50 · 22 answers · asked by Krissyinthesun 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Just to add, my b/f always leaves me alone with him and goes off and does his own thing, it's a bit uncomfortable, as I have somuch trouble understanding him!
2007-03-23 08:47:42 · update #1
Oh, and I have a 5 year old already... Making me even more tired than if I really had nothing to do! It is his b-day 2moro and I'm spent making arrangements etc...!
2007-03-23 08:49:28 · update #2
Don't take it too harshly. It is because of the pregnancy that you're exhausted. First off, tell your husband and/or his father not to expect you to make anything for lunch or dinner. Don't worry about cooking anything for them, unless you want to or feel up to it. And even so, don't feel like you have to go "all out" in terms of food prep.
When your BF's dad comes over, feel free to either stay in the room with them, or excuse yourself to the den or another room to lounge and get your rest. They should understand that you're pregnant and not necessarily in tip top energy form. You're not being antisocial, you've just got an extra little person inside of you that you're working on nurturing so that they can enter this world a healthy happy little baby.
Basically, don't worry about being "prepared". They should understand that you're not a hostess for them right now. You're a pregnant woman, one that needs her rest and quiet time. So again, feel free to excuse yourself to get your rest if you feel you need it. Let your boyfriend play the host since he's the one that invited his dad over, and just let him know that you honestly don't feel up to it.
Good luck!
2007-03-23 09:06:14 · answer #1 · answered by Lexie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i can honestly say that i have the most wonderful caring and supportive partner and he loves me to bits. however, for a while now the poor man can do no right. i adore him but this pregnancy has been horrid and i've taken it all out on him. none of it is meant and once baby arrives i will make it all up to him. i'm sure it's just her hormones or she could just be a little unhappy about something either way i'm sure she doesn't mean it. i know i don't but it's not much fun being pregnant especially you are in pain or hormonal. good luck to you both and don't feel as though you can do right for being wrong, it's not a nice feeling but it'll pass. tc
2016-03-29 01:13:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you but the truth is your boyfriend probably has no idea you feel that way. Sometimes guys just aren't as good at predicting how something will make another person feel. I'm willing to bet that your boyfriend is a very sweet and caring guy who is just a little clueless at times.
I suggest that you talk to him when you are NOT angry. Tell him you understand his need to support his dad but also let him know that you do not feel comfortable being left alone with him and not being told that he was coming over.
Suggest that visits with his Dad be planned by both of you. And for long visits, have a room where you can "escape" to and rest, knowing that your boyfriend is home to be with his Dad.
2007-03-23 09:21:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to make the best of it. Your b/f's dad really needs him right now and he probably needs his dad too (he recently lost his mom!). Don't make him choose between you (and baby) and his dad. B/f is not trying to be thoughtless and uncaring (just the opposite actually). After dad leaves tonight talk to b/f; GENTLY let him know that you are tired and can't handle too much right now. Maybe suggest that he and his dad go out for lunch tomorrow, or pick something up to bring home. Don't be too hard on him now, he's between a rock and a hard place. And remember he has no idea how tired and hormonal you are right now because he has never been in your shoes. You two have to support each other or your relationship will suffer. Congrats on the baby and good luck.
2007-03-23 08:46:19 · answer #4 · answered by Psalm91 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
omg girl i know how you feel!!! i am 28 weeks pregnant and right now i just don't want company but my fiance seems to invite some of his hilbilly @ss family over every week and it makes me so mad cause he doesn't ask either. they show up, , bring alot of beer, eat up all my food, their kids destroy my house then they spend the night......ughhhhhhhh!!!! here lately i leave or go to bed when i find out they are coming, he's starting to catch onto what i'm doing but who cares, they need to go home and stay home, at least until i have this baby and am not tired and irritable all the time!! i mean you think they would give me a break, hopefully the rest of them will catch on too, when i walk out the door as they walk in..........lol. good luck
i just read the part about him leaving you there with the dad, thats horrible and i would put my foot down to that, i mean it's his dad and he invited him over. my fiance doesn't leave but he will tell me " why don't u go in the house with the rest of the women" so believe me, it's not just your man, they are ALL @ssholes at times!!
2007-03-23 08:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes men can be like that. Unfortunately, I've heard of this happening a lot. Some men don't realize that it takes extra work, preparation and energy to have company for meals. Talk with your boyfriend. Try to do it calmly. He really probably just wasn't thinking. I'm sure it wasn't on purpose. Talk with him about how it made you feel. Hopefully he will understand and see a need for a change. Good luck!
2007-03-23 08:44:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yeah he could of asked you and I am sure that is what you are the most angry about, not that you are tired but he didn't give you the respect you deserve, just let him know you will have dinner and lunch with him and his father but the next time he disrespects you in that way they can plan on eating alone.
2007-03-23 08:35:21 · answer #7 · answered by neicee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know you just being hormonal but I would make an effort to you b/f dad. He's just lonely and I think that when the baby is born you are all going to get along just fine. But I do think you b/f should of told you about his lunch plans. I know exactly how you feel.
2007-03-23 08:41:52 · answer #8 · answered by almost there 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be angry! Especially since he left. I mean, it's his dad! It's not your responsibility to take care of him. Tell your boyfriend that under no circumstances is this happening again. Tell him that you like his dad, but you're heavily pregnant and really tired, and that if he wants his dad over, he'll have to stick around and spend time with him. I mean, what's the point of inviting him over if he's not going to hang out with him? You're not being hormonal. You're justified in your anger. You're pregnant and exhausted!
Ugh, men!
2007-03-23 09:02:18 · answer #9 · answered by alimagmel 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Life is not only about you- pregnant or not. A pregnant lady did something really unforgivable to me and everyone said that it was because she was pregnant.... on the one hand I understood, but deep inside I still resent her for disappointing me like she did. She apologized afterwards, but we never talked to each other again after the incident.... it just wasn't the same anymore. I was only 3 months pregnant myself when it happened.... so imagine your husband as if he is having some kind of hormonal imbalance, too, because of his loss. When two people are not their very normal self, misunderstandings with bad consequences are more likely to occur. It's not like his dad is gonna move in, right? He has no idea how it is to be pregnant.... do you have any idea how he is feeling about his dad? I mean- do you really know... have you been in his shoes? (> pregnant wife-about to give birth, dad is senile and lost his wife etc...)
2007-03-23 08:44:39 · answer #10 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋