how do you flip a switch abandon someone and never look back not even a peek.?

Question

does any one have any suggestions on how to get over someone more quickly that are not odvious or common ea exercise.counseling.admiting ,your part,time. etc,it has been over two years since my ex left me,at first i took extreme measures not to run accross her but,then after two plus years i have acheived 9 months of sobriety.i have been sober since august 8 in november i came to the 4 step and although she had fault in the failure of our marriage i had reached a point where i was willing and needing to make ammends and take all the responsability and fault if neccessary in hpes that she could have some measure of peace and closure.but i also hoped to acheive the same for myself.i looked her up on the computer and left a voicemail that was.then nothing,she closed her account i began to look 4 her other places and she continuedto move plus her boyfreind and the group of people that are their peers,freinds are taunting me mocking me and im a jackass but i cant seem to beleive or accept

Answer 1

What you want, and what's going to happen are two different things. Get into some more counseling, realize you made some mistakes, and get on with your life. The lady is gone... and for good reason. Now you are a new person, but it is tooooooo late as far as she is concerned. She has gone on with her life... you should too...

Good luck, hon.

Answer 2

Great that you have been sober for 9 months! If you can't contact her, then you can't make the amends. Apparently, she doesn't want them and doesn't want to believe that you could change, so she will just avoid you. THAT'S OKAY. You don't need to prove anything to her any more. You did those things for you, so that you could move forward with your life. Don't lose sight of that.

It doesn't matter what she thinks now. It only matters where you go from here. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving ahead. You will meet new people and start a new and better life. No point in looking backwards now. The fact that you're on the right track will bring good things. Some day she may even hear that you're doing well, and may be curious to find out what has happened with you, but until then, put it out of your mind. You can't erase your past, but you can let it go. Good Luck!

Answer 3

First and foremost CONGRATS on your 9 months!!! That is awesome.
You said that although she had fault in the failure of your marriage, you were willing to take all the responsibility and fault if necessary to give her peace and closure. Think about that statement. It won't work. You need to truly make amends and see it for what it is...it is NOT your responsibility to give her peace and closure; it's hers. You are responsible for your own. You know we're all a work in progress...keep up the good work with your sobriety and coming to terms with your role in your PAST relationships so that you can move on in your life, clear, happy and healthy.
I would also suggest ceasing your search for her. Leave her be, and focus on your own happiness. How are you a jackass? Go a little easier on yourself ok?
You took a peek. You didn't see what you wanted to see. That happens. Move on!
Take care, be safe.

Answer 4

It's not possible to flip a switch to get over them. However with as much criticism as I may get for saying this making people believe that you are over the person makes it easier for you....if you can convince other people then you should be able to convince yourself eventually....divorce is not an easy thing to deal with because you made an oath that you would make it work with that person regardless of what happens...there might be an underlying issue and it could have to do with failure issues.

Answer 5

IF YOU WERE ABLE TO OVERCOME ADDICTION YOU CAN GET OVER HER. IF IT HELPS YOU SEND HER A LETTER AND TELL HER YOU ARE SORRY FOR CAUSING HER PAIN AND WISH HER HAPPINESS. DON'T EXPECT A RESPONSE. MOVE ON AND ENJOY YOUR NEW LIFE !

Answer 6

Find someone new!