After doing some research and digging when I knew something was wrong for over a year with our relationship. My husband not very willingly told me about a girl at work he went running with by themselves on lunch break and he says she was nice to him and baked cookies and things like that. He told her bad things about our marriage and listened to her talk about her divorce. I have a hard time believe this is all that went on but if it did then why? My husband and I had twins that were only a year old at the time and we were sooo busy. I can't believe that instead of putting the effort into our marriage and family this is what he was doing. I knew something was wrong when he was so interested in taking up running and dressing nice for work than he usually did.
2007-03-23 07:56:08 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I forgot to mention she is almost 10 years younger than he.
2007-03-23 07:57:29 · update #1
Why? Because he is selfish, that's why. Emotional my foot...trust me he had something else going on, he's just not willing to share that part. Call a marriage therapist or an attorney.
2007-03-23 08:00:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am most afraid that my boyfriend/husband will have emotional affairs. Reason being, physical affairs do not last, but emotional affairs..it last. Sex gets boring some point in time, but emotional attachment can really tear up your relationship. I believe this because I am this way. I can feel physically attracted to a hansom man, but being emotionally attracted to someone...that takes whole alot. I wouldn't talk to my guy friends about my relationship problems. That is signaling that I am emotionally venerable. Which means "I AM OPEN!! COME ON IN". If it is a same sex friend, different story. Emotional affair is some what severe than physical affair. You better watch out or you will have to sign the divorce paper soooooon. Your husband has some what lost his interest in your family, more specifically YOU. That is why he is out looking for fresh meat to prey. I am not sure what you can do to change his mind at this point. It sounds like he went too far. Talk to him seriously and seek marriage counseling if you want to save your marriage. Good luck..this is really tough one.
2007-03-23 08:15:33 · answer #2 · answered by Victoria78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just filed for divorce today from my husband who was having an emotional "texting" affair with my best friend, who's husband is also my soon to be ex's best friend. Both couples were going through a hard time and my husband and friend started talking and texting one another. Its so upsetting because I would have loved for him to open up to me about what his issues were in our marriage. Soon after, though I was and am innocent, he started accusing me of running around behind his back. I asked him why I would do that when I am trying to work things out with him and why wouldn't I just leave because it would be easier to start with someone new. He said, "Because you're probably just not sure enough yet that it's going to work out to tell me that you are leaving me for him." Instead, I told him that he just revealed to me what HE was doing; waiting to see if it was going to work out between the two of them before either of them did anything drastic to their marriages and children. There is such thing as an emotional affair, but I feel it's only the prelude to a full on affair where neither of the "cheaters" have had the balls to take it to the next level...yet.
2007-03-23 08:51:39 · answer #3 · answered by Bisou 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to see it from you feelings. Your description of the length of the relationship is quite a distance. I have to say on one side I can see your husbands interests. I most recently had the same type of relationship happen to me.
It started meeting each other on a public bus ride home from work. Beginning as friends and building somewhat into an emotional relationship. She turned it off because I was married. I had no sexual attractions to the lady, 12 years to my youth, emotional feelings the only involvement.
But, back to you, three years! That is a distance of being only an emotional relationship. Being married to you after three years. This is so hard to answer. I cannot believe he is still married to you. He must still have a love for you. Other wise who says your marriage wouldn't still be involved.
What type of relationship in privacy do you have with him? Has that been rejected or changed besides the difference of having your twins? He must show some involvement with their lives-without no questions. You mention he doesn't.
I have to say, from my point, he is fooling around. My marriage has been dividing (my side) for some time. I wasn't looking for this other woman. It just happened. If she hadn't ended it who says where it might have gone. I am taking care of my present wife for reasons. But, one day...
Perhaps he feels for reasons of the children he cannot leave you. Saving him pains of divorce, pains of support, pains of sharing the children, all things that divorce can being. All the kids are grown up in my marriage...but they weren't my in the first place.
I think he is trying to make sure the snow is up against your windows, trying to make it hard for you to see out. Starting over is always a hard choice, seeing a new beginning of what is to come is hard, but, you've got to make the choice. See if you can find out for sure...Call that younger woman and talk to her if you've not tried that yet.
2007-03-23 08:38:16 · answer #4 · answered by AlbeFree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he is trying to get away with confessing to as little as possible. He is still playing games and lying to you. Until he wants to be a different person he will always lie.
And since he is also a coward for cheating, he can't confront the conflict involved in telling you he was banging her like a screen door in a hurricane.
But unless he is just your flaming gay shoe shopping buddy, NO MAN finds satisfaction in an "emotional affair" - men like the "dicking her balls-deep all day every day" affairs.
He's got light years to go before he can even admit to himself how f*cked up he his - I would scrap the project and move on - he isn't done cheating yet no matter what smooth lines come tumbling out of his snake oil salesman mouth.
2007-03-23 08:30:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is committed to your marriage, I think a transfer to a different job is in order. In fact, I would just about insist on it.
The fact that the two of them are seeing each other on a daily basis isn't good. Where there's an emotional connection, a physical connection could well follow.
Talk to you husband about your concerns, and make him realize the prospect of losing his family if he continues to interact with this young lady. Best of luck to you Hon.
2007-03-23 08:04:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Emotional affair? Ya right! Has he ever dressed up for you ?and what is this about saying bad things about your marriage? There is definitly something going on here! You better start playing detective. The handwriting is on the wall.
2007-03-23 08:13:50 · answer #7 · answered by Gerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Emotional affairs happen everyday. Most likely they arent receiving any affection or anything at home. You said you were busy. Yes it is selfish and its wrong, but at the same time he needed to talk and this girl was there with open ears. Doesnt have to be sexual to be an affair, he was getting his emotional needs met elsewhere. Maybe you couldnt or didnt find the time to talk to him.
2007-03-23 08:06:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In some respects marriage is an exceedingly tall order. the days are long previous while we married for mutual survival, now we predict no longer something under a soul mate who has to offer for all our emotional and actual desires for the the remainder of our time on earth. Its hapdly surprising that faster or later in an prolonged marriage, we possibility in the process somebody else who we hit upon we are in a position to love as properly. Please dont beat your self up over this - i ask your self what number human beings on the top of their life can honesty say they have in no way been interested in somebody else. probable very few. besides the fact that, the priority is the place this is going to lead. Beleive me, in spite of if that's not actual now in any way, in case you save on it is going to at last exchange into so. the sentiments you're thoughts are going to intensity the extra down this path you stroll. The charm, the guilt, the psychological torture, the disgrace, the thrill, each little thing you're experiencing now will purely get better and better. at last you will get to the unthinkable question - are you waiting to renounce each little thing and leave your husband for this guy? If yo nonetheless love yor husband as you of course do, the alternative might stress you to a psychological breakdown. in case you're sturdy and supply this guy up, or if the different guy comes to a decision to provide up it, how will you conceal your grief on the loss out of your husband. you're already in it too a the thank you to coach decrease back. yet there is one crimson flag, and a extensive one, that's your asserting that he promised you a destiny yet you dont purchase it. That sounds like a splash of suspicion that he's no longer as into you as he makes out. Or that he's exaggerating, fantasising, and you dont have faith he will follow via. How plenty do you somewhat comprehend approximately him? He might desire to be a serial womaniser. i think of the element to do is come sparkling including your husband. you haven't any longer dedicated against the regulation, no adultery has taken place. of course he wont be delighted, yet the two considered one of you will possibly desire to look at your marriage mutually, in line with possibility interior the putting of relationship conselling, and artwork as a set to repair it. A relationship includes 2 human beings, you may no longer positioned your marriage precise on your very own. With success the two considered one of you will ulitmately welcome this journey because of fact the catalyst that further the two considered one of you closer.
2016-10-20 07:24:47 · answer #9 · answered by goodgion 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is saying that because he probably hasn't gotten physical with her but has an extremely deep connection to her....It's still wrong....its cheating....he is cheating because he is emotionally connecting with another woman...I know because I am going through the same thing...I know its hard to believe that it's the only thing that was going on .....you have to tell him how you feel and that its not ok for him to do these things.....you should tell him how much he's hurt you and hopefully he will listen........
2007-03-23 08:45:56 · answer #10 · answered by Sinking Slowly 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋