have been with my bf for 2.5months(i am21,hes24)I am his first GF in 2YRS.I could tell he REALLY liked me in the beginning.he took me to meet his parents and friends and invited me EVERWHERE.About a month ago,he started acting really distant and i started to not see him as much(like 1 time a week).Last weekend,he really opened up to me and told me how his ex cheated on him and how he wants to get his life together,then he goes out drinking all the time.I had a talk withhim on Monday about how I feel like he doesnt care about me now,and how i would like to see him more.he was understanding at first,but then said he wanted space,that hes scared and thinks we are moving too fast!also said that he does really care about me and he isnt going anywhere.He told me he would think about this and call me back.i havent talked to him since,and havent tried calling.I want to give him time to think about this,BUT how much more time should I give him?and why is he acting like this?SHOULD I CALL??
2007-03-23 07:42:26 · 24 answers · asked by sallyh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think you shouldn't call, this guy isn't worth all your anxiety. I can see that you love him but from what i see, he's been lying to you. It seems like he's using you as a pulling back together tool and then leaving you alone because he still loves the other girl. He thinks he could've used you as a substitute to take away all that pain and give the love to someone else but it turns out that he didn't love you and he feels tired trying to.
I'm sorry i need to break this to you this way but i do hope you see the picture and break outta this.
2007-03-23 07:52:00 · answer #1 · answered by Felicia C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Recently, someone gave me a book that opened my eyes and had me to only look at the black and white areas of my life. Never live in the gray. By saying this, what you may need to think about is, when a guy wants his space simply give it to him. When a guy runs from you, throw him skates. What I am saying is that, guys know what they want and if you have made that much of any impact in his life he will make a bee-line to you. Think of a shoe store theory, there are millions of beautiful shoes and you may have tried a thousand on but there's a perfect fit out there for you. Don't settle on someone who's not ready to emotionally commit or be there for you! When guys go into shoes stores they know what they want and they buy it! Don't call because how will you ever know if he was going to come for you? You don't! It hurts but you should never ever have to chase anyone. :) I really hope this helped and take it from me, the truth hurts but its so liberating! Breathe....
2007-03-23 15:05:25 · answer #2 · answered by MockingBird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are in a really tough spot. I would give him a week don't call him let him call you. If he doesn't call after a week give him a call and invite him over to talk. If you really care about him and want this to work tell him that. Explain to him that you understand his reservations, but you really want to be with him. Let him know that you would be willing to give him more space (and do). Tell him that you are going to spend more time with friends and family while he is sorting things out, but you would still like to spend time with him as well. Set a date night between the two of you, maybe even suggest that you invite other friends on the date. Explain to him that you do not want to date other men (and don't date anyone else.) After a couple of months of this he should come around. That is how my husband came out of his insecurities we have no been married for 7 years with 2 wonderful kids. After a couple of months he realized that I wasn't going to run around on him no matter what he did. That my heart belonged to him only. He moved in 6 months after this slow down period and 1 year after he asked me to marry him. GOOD LUCK I hope this helps.
PS If there are guy friends that you are going to be spending time with make sure that he is OK with them and that you have girlfriends go with you at the same time.
2007-03-23 14:57:39 · answer #3 · answered by 3Xmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't waste my time girl. 9 times out of 10 men will say whatever you want to hear in order to get what they're going after. Once they get it, they're done. If this isn't the case, then it sounds like he's just not interested, or has found someone new. Either way, I would suck it up, and move on. Best wishes for finding a real man!!
2007-03-23 14:47:19 · answer #4 · answered by ladytiggon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey lets face it he's just not into you. He doesnt sound
very good at relationships so just forget about him. Dont
get answering his calls he is telling you he wants out,
Turn your back on him and get out there and find ssomeone
who is interested in something lasting. Girl there are
plenty of guys looking for a real relationship Find yourself a
new hobby Take up Line Dancing Golfing Go where the boys
are . You owe it to yourself , Forget this SLOB>
Lots of Love
julia g>/
2007-03-23 14:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by julia g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heres one more perspective: the chase is over. now he's not as attracted to u. its a law of nature. most guys (i'm predictable like this too! sorry!) are initially so focused on 'getting the girl' (and i don't necessarily mean in a derrogatory way, like just getting in your pants, but i cant speak for all guys, i'm pretty good natured). so like for me i chase soo well and good the first few months, ie: poetry, flowers, suprises, showered with affection, and attention, but then after that time period.... my enthusiasm kinda lulls off. and its my fault as the guy cuz i generally 'spoil' the girl and she gets accustomed to that attention level. then when it abuptly stops.... it looks like i'm not interested anymore.
he may be in this boat. its not your fault, its inherent for guys and some girls. its like the new car feeling is gone after a few months. u know like if he got a new car or something he washes it everyday or won't let anyone eat in it, or get inside dirty etc... then whenever that 'time period' ends.... all rules are dropped! and hes got jack n the box wrappers and coffee cups in the back seat!
hope this gives u a possible nicer meaning. thanks for the 2 points, i beleive i earned it. i really answered u.
2007-03-23 15:14:44 · answer #6 · answered by firemedic311 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds like he's been hurt. he's protecting himself and trying to figure out what to do with himself and his life. don't pressure him. you've only been together 2 1/2 months. i'm sure you really like him but 2 1/2 months isn't a long time. you should still be casual and having fun. you should call him and let him know that you like him and want to be with him but not put pressure on him for a serious committment! relax - you're young and if you're supposed to be with him - if this relationship will last - take your time!!
2007-03-23 14:46:45 · answer #7 · answered by Suzanne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like a real pu s sy ! All of his crybaby nonsense will only get worse as you get deeper into the relationship. Dump this clown and find a man that is secure in himself and not afraid to commit!
2007-03-23 14:47:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a father of 2 girls I saw the pain that was inflicted on my daughters by immature guys who were out drinking with their friends and using excuses like your boyfriend is using. They would sit by the phone with tears in their eyes and it ripped my heart out. Rise above it and go out and find a loving caring guy who will be nice to you. There's a lot of them out there. And a girl like you will not have any trouble finding one. My daughters did.Remember the ball is in your court not his.If he doesn't know that now he never will.
2007-03-23 14:56:19 · answer #9 · answered by thomas m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are too many loving people in this big 'ol world to hook-up with someone, who after a very short time, is already starting to exhibit signs that he no longer wants to carry on this relationship, but is too week to express this to you. Move on.
2007-03-23 14:46:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋