Why are ALL teen mums Judged??

Question

ok, I'm a pregnant teen, an all of u are saying '' bad upbringing'' an blame parents. . . .
NO we make our own choices, We all know wat we are doing an the choice we are making. . . .
So no blame should be put on the parents in anyway shape or form. . . .

An as for the person saying that teens in the UK get everything given to them are WRONG i applied for a place from the council, they make u wait until the baby is around 3 years old before giving u a home, cuz there is such a shortage of flats and houses now. . . .an as for the money thing, i could make some very nasty comments bu wont. I don't like that all teen mums are being judged by the few teens who do blame their parents an dump their children.
I know plenty of people who have children an are doing very well an love them, There are bad parents no matter what the age is, so please if judgements are going to be made make it on all parents of all ages.

So why are we judged in such a harsh mean way?????

An as for me draining the BEIFITS, my boyfriend is doin a full time job an will be bale to support me and my baby an ive got a job waitin for me when i have had my son . . . . ., bu no1 ever moans bout the doll dossers who do bugger all!!!!!

I live in a council house wiht my parents, bu they pay rent an council tax ect. . . .So cuz my mom n dad live in a council house does that make them a drain on u??? Me an my boyfriend will have 2 pay rent cuz we are working people who refuse to have beinfits thank u. . .!!

Answer 1

it's because of the majority of teen moms. I got pregnant at 17, so did a friend of mine. I live on my own with my husband and children. My husband works. She lives on her own with her 3 children, but she's lives on welfare. My kids have the same father; none of hers share a father. I quit smoking pot when I found out I was pregnant; she went on to become a crackhead. My kids are always bathed and in nice clothes; hers always look filthy. I can go on and on but I'm sure you get what I'm saying. The teen parents that are total morons make the rest look bad.

Answer 2

Good for you, it's nice to know that you're willing to pay your way. Try not to take others judgements so personally, you and your bf are paying your own way so the judgements aren't aimed at you.
I think so many people moan because not every young Mum is like you. Where I live, there are sooo many teens who have atleast one kid and they don't work at all but they've still got a house or flat and plenty of material things all for free off the government. I can see why there is so much anger towards these people as I've heard them say from their own mouths "I'll get pregnant so I don't have to work"
People like that do annoy me, but you and your bf aren't people like that. I certainly don't judge all teen mums cause I know some that do still work and are still going to college etc.

My advice to you is to just live your life and forget the small minded people who judge you by other peoples actions.
Earn your own living, look after your kids and be a proud mum.
Congrats on the pregnancy and good luck!

Answer 3

ok i'm a teen mum and for all the old fashioned ppl out there i'm planned my baby! wow! and no i'm not stupid for doing it. i love my son more than anything in the world and i always put him 1st no matter what the circumstances. and no i don't live in a council house or brought up in 1 i have an rented apartment with my partner who i have been with 4 7 years and is my son's father and we have no plans on changing that.
when we decieded 2 try 4 a baby we were both working. i actually lost my job down to the fact i was pregnant and my partner was in a partner in a windows company and things were on the up so this is y we planned. when i was 5 months pregnant the business went downhill rapidly and we lost everything due to this my partners confidence has bin knocked and with so many other companys struggling it was hard 2 find a job so we had 2 go on benefits 2 survive now if some1 can tell me that i'm a scrounger b/c of this please tell me what u would do if put in that situation? u can never plan life completly. my son is always clean and dressed nicely and not at the taxpayers expense but at our own now. alot of teen mums have a bad name b/c of the way they behave e.g like big children themselves and can't deal with the reality of a child but on the other hand there are sum mothers out there who can deal with it and live purely 4 their children

Answer 4

In all fairness, some probably judge out of misguided compassion. "Oh, the poor girl will never have the life she could have had now."

Others get pissed that teenage girls who aren't able to support themselves end up taking public aid, which of course tax-payers pay for.

Another reason is that there is ample access to birth control, and if a girl failed to use it she's either "irresponsible and stupid" i.e. unable to conceive of real long-term consequences when faced situations of immediate gratification, (which also tend to evoke feelings of concern over whether that girl can really put the needs of the child before her own.)

Or she's one of those poor, desperate souls that thinks she's all grown up and doesn't really have any clue what the real world is like out there, and thinks it'll make the bad things in her life go away if she can just have this form of unconditional love.

Then there are the really terrible few who do dump their babies in dumpsters, or abandon them to grandparents, or neglect them to escape into a world of self pity, and all the things that come with that.

The thing to remember is that (and I was teenage mother too, so I totally understand) you're right--not all teenage mothers are the same, and there are those that are perfectly competent and loving. Don't worry about what others think, it'll drive you crazy if you do. Just do everything in your power to be the best possible parent you can be, and know that time reveals all things.

Answer 5

i was 19 when i fell pregnant with my 1st daughter, i was also married and our daughter was planned, but that does not stop people from judging.

we tried for our daughter and my husband is the same age and was and still is in the raf.

I now have 2 much wanted daughters, well behaved and lovely, never received a penny from nobody, and my husband has a great job as an air traffic controller.

So yes people should not judge on age alone, as its not fair.

I am now 27 and have been married 8 years.

Some teen mothers do deserved to be judged, but so do some older mothers, its not just the young ones that live of benifits, i think i proved that sometimes, young people can have sucsessful lifes, even having a baby young.

We have never regreted having our kids

Answer 6

good luck just ignore them the drains are people who claim disability and run marathons im having twins got 6 wks left and im gonna b claiming tax credits so am i a drain ? by the way cause they r twins i only get money for 1 baby i think the government expect u to leave the nappy on longer or something by the way im 25 i pay my tax so why shouldnt i ? it like teenagers they will have jobs if they aint now so whats the problem its people telling them they have done wrong i remember being 16 i had my own brain by then as i was born with it i was old enough to have sex so why not a baby ? or does everyone need a biology lesson

Answer 7

hold on what benefits i have a teen daughter who is a mum and she don't get anything being under 16 due to us not claiming we have to provide for all her needs and the baby, she had a good up bringing she has a brother whom is in the police force another brother whom is a chef and a sister of 3 who speaks french and English in which we taught her, there's always questions on here about teen pregnancy and most people blame the parents and their up bringing as why they got pregnant in not saying I'm a perfect mum but who is sometimes things happen its just the way life is, i like to state as well that I've known some older 1st time mums cant cope i think some teen mums are very good i don't condone my daughter having sex that her age but the baby is here what can us parents do other then support out teens having babies, if we were to disown them people would be the 1st to say how can you disown your daughter there still our daughters

Answer 8

i agree with you i was very young when i had my daughter, and every one is so quick to judge, some teenage parents do just get pregnant for the fashion and to get a council house and benefits, but I'm not like that at all my partner had always supported me and my daughter he works 52 hours a week, we have a mortgage, we have NEVER claimed benefits, but i think teenage parents will always be judged, no matter what, I'm no longer a teenager but i look quite young for my age i still hear snide comments behind my back, mostly from 40yr olds with 7 kids, a council house, loads of gold jewellery, never had a job in there life and they are the ones that should be ashamed cause they are quite clearly the ones that have children to get a house money!! and what annoys me the most me and my partner are paying for them!

Answer 9

you no what it makes me sick on some peoples judgments , ye every body has there own opinion on teen mums never about the guys what got then pregnant in the first place,
If you having sex then its up to you and partner to deal with what can happen , it happens weather it be a mistake or planed .who are people to judge we don't no you.
my sister had her first child when she was 16 , hes 20 now and if you was to ask her she would tell you she would do it all again ,
As for getting a house you wont get that until your over 18 , you wont get any sort of benefit's like everybody thinks you do you will get some but not much , i guess you are still at home with your parents well the money is given to your mother then its up to your mum weather she just gives it straight back to you , reason i no this is my brother in laws niece just had a baby shes 15 and that's what happened to her , you can apply for a grant to get your pram and a few bits buts that's all , so were everybody get OH teen mums get all sorts THAY don't .
anyway good luck with you baby and take what everybody says as a pinch of salt .

Answer 10

my daughter had her daughter when she was18. she has got a council house and so have a lot of childless people. she works full time and so does her husband. her daughter goes to a nursery 3 days a week and i have her the other 2. this is my choice, not her being dumped on me. she draws no benefit and is saving for a deposit on her own house. she is the best mum in the world and her daughter is very intelligent and loving. she interacts well and has no problem with sharing. i am extremely proud of her. so what if she lives in a council house. lots of families live in private rented accommodation but you don't hear anyone slagging them off do you? i know a lot of teenage parents and i can honestly say that the majority of them are brilliant hard working people. don't let other peoples prejudgement get to you. enjoy your time with your baby. good luck

Answer 11

Tell your boyfriend to marry you. What is HIS problem with marriage? What is your problem with marriage? You are making a bunch of agencies play mummy and daddy to you while you get a little baby. They will house you cheaply and worry about your baby's health (getting a doctor's care for you and your baby). Your boyfriend is getting a free ride while he is daddy. Other people save, plan and struggle to provide security to their families.
Party much? Like to have the freedom to walk out of each other because you're just boyfriend and girlfriend. If there is any criticism of teenage parents, this is it. Is that good for an infant who most certainly will not end up being raised by his birth father (most likely to walk out of the two birth parents)? No. Teenage mums think grandma and grandpa will take over when they get bored or frustrated with it and need a break. That may work out. I do think it is a tremendous disappointment to the grandparents that they are having this responsibility shoved at them. Even though they have to love the baby too.