One of my closest friends is in this situation and I don't really know what to say besides how interested is he.
2007-03-23 07:17:45 · 27 answers · asked by Diva 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Abortion, unless she's ready to raise a child on her own.
2007-03-23 07:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 5⤋
My first answer would be; do not get married. I did that too many years ago and of course it didn't last.
Marriage is hard enough without complicating it with Pregnancy and getting to know the person at the same time. It would only work if both are exceptional people with real dedication and resolution.
Being a single parent can be hard, I did that too, but at least you are responsible for and in control of yourself. Parenting is hard and I think the worst thing that can happen to a child is to have parents in conflict about roles, discipline or even love. That's why cross cultural marriages are tough on children. Did that too, lasted longer though, 23 years.
Tell your friend to tough it out. If she stays in touch with the father and they seem to genuinely connect OK, that's different, go for it. At least they didn't do it under pressure.
BTW - If she decides to go it alone, she should consider leaving the fathers name blank. It's easier to put on than it is to take off, and that intent may occur.
2007-03-23 14:32:00 · answer #2 · answered by Caretaker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your friend, and how old is the guy?
I was in this situation, I only knew the guy for a month , he was a rebound situation.
I do not feel that you have to be committed to the father, just because you have a child. But he should have the opportunity to be in the childs life should he choose to.
I have a beautiful daughter. She has never met her bio dad, she has shown no interest in doing so. She knows who he is and where, but she was adopted by my first husband and he was always "Daddy", my second husband is "Dad" and she calls bio dad her "biological sperm donor"
I have been completely honest with her at all times about this, and have told her that if she ever wants to meet him, to let me know and I will contact him for her.
2007-03-23 14:32:39 · answer #3 · answered by slpkwp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this was me.... I was date raped, and well turned out that one time some jerk had his way with me, I got pregnant, I carried out the pregnancy met a nice family to give the baby too, and then when i felt the baby move inside me i knew that i couldnt give her away. I kept her and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Tell your friend that its not about him, its about the life that will be coming. on a side note my daughter is 2 and her "sperm donor" is 20k in areers owed in child support to me , So his one night of fun with me, turned into 18 years of debt out of pocket owed to me. Tell her to keep her head up and that everyhting happens for a reason. And take it from me, I was 18 and didnt even want or like kids, But WOW, how things change. Everything will be fine.
2007-03-23 14:21:23 · answer #4 · answered by gsxr650 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well... this is just proof that you really need to save having sex for someone you do know. I have a friend, I'll call her JUDY, she got pregnant by a guy she was dating for less than 3 weeks. He doesnt want another child, this would be his second, and is treating JUDY really bad because of it. Also, she found out she was preg after he broke up with her. So... its a bad situation all around and since abortion is NOT an option for her.. she is going to have a baby. YOU NEED TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH BEFORE PAYING THE CONSEQUENCES!
2007-03-23 14:21:37 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Why would you have sex with someone you don`t know? I guess it would be rather unfortunate, because what would the mother tell the child about the father, "I didn`t know him, it was a one night fling".Well I guess the child would`nt be the only one.There are a lot of children concieved that way.
2007-03-23 14:30:44 · answer #6 · answered by lost2day 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well actually that is EXACTLY what im going through right now. i met this guy a couple of weeks ago. and i only knew him for 2 days, and then we hooked up. it was a one nighter thing. i didnt think it was gonna be, but now he has a g/f and i found out i was pregnant.. i dont know what kind of person he is at all, but he seems to be one that doesnt take committment seriously, so im just gonna keep the baby, and leave him out of it. i mean yeah, ill tell him, but im gonna also say he doesnt have to be part of the kid's life......my child would be better off w/o him anyway! he does drugs, and i dont want that influence around him/her. so maybe that's what your friend should do. (p.s. im not a slut, i've never had sex before this guy....i have alotta problems so yeah....but im NOT a slut.)
2007-03-23 14:23:37 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
find him and make him responsible , if he is not "interested" as you say then he must pay , ..... its best to let them sort it out by themselves ,but she will need all the advice she can get and somebody who doesn't mind having a sore ear ...... i´m sure if he could have the chance to look into his child's eyes he will have a whole new perspective on life so try to encourage that if anything and no more
2007-03-23 14:20:51 · answer #8 · answered by insenergy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get to know them, and if I don't think I could tolerate them, I'd consider getting joint custody or at the very least just help them pay for the child and themselves.
2007-03-23 14:21:43 · answer #9 · answered by Rey Gamberro Salvador 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not marry this person just yet. marriage is a whole ball of worms to work out before saying your vows. I just hope the father of the child is responsible enought to pay for costs ( time and money) of raising a child if he is not too involved .
good luck!
2007-03-23 14:22:34 · answer #10 · answered by ty808 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would inform them. Make sure they take as much responsibility for the child as I do.
2007-03-23 14:22:03 · answer #11 · answered by LuvUrGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋