For Gay People, Where you born gay or did you choose to be gay?

Question

When you were a child did you already know?
Did you feel diferent from the other children?

Answer 1

I knew around 12. I didn't feel different from other children because it wasn't the main, controlling factor in my life. I dated boys, because that was what I was "supposed" to do. I didn't come out, however, until my mid 20's. I know I was born gay, because I never wanted or enjoyed being with men, I did it for all the wrong reasons, and I have never felt so comfortable until i came out and started doing and being who i am.

Answer 2

What possible difference does it make? There is and probably always will be a debate on whether it is a choice or not. Whether I choose to be gay or I was born that way doesnt matter. I AM gay, have been gay and will be gay and dont feel the need for anybodys approval or acceptance.

Answer 3

I feel that I was born a lesbian. I didnt realize at first that I was looking and feeling towards girls differently from my friends. I finally figured it out at about age 13. I was still interested boys at the time as well. It wasnt until age 16 or so that I told myself that I was just going to be me and whoever I end up with will be fine. Now that I am an adult, I stictly see women. I have been with my partner for over 3 years and can never see myself with anyone else. If something were to happen with us, I dont think I would go back to seeing men.

Answer 4

I'm not gay, but I wrote a paper on the topic for my english class last semester. I wrote about the fact that homosexuality is not a choice and not something that can be changed (i.e., through reparative therapy). I support the gay community 100% and I do not believe that homosexuality is a choice, but rather something instilled in individuals at a very young age that they are not necessarily aware of until a much later time.

Answer 5

I don't know if I was born gay or not, I know I have always hated gender roles. I had always wanted to cut my hair short, I had always borrowed my brother's clothes, I had always been a climber/skater/biker and hung out with a big bunch of guys because I related better with them than with girls. But I also have an overwhelming maternal instinct. I teach third grade and have three beautiful godchildren, and I am honored to share my partner's two nephews and a neice. I want to be a mother someday.
As a child, I did not feel different, I just felt limited and pressured in directions that I didn't agree with or want, and I always wondered, what's the big deal? who cares if I want to wear girls shorts or guy's shorts? who cares how I want to cut my hair? Who cares if my friends are girls or guys?
I am still wondering.
I fell in love with my partner as easily as I fell in love with any guy that I dated. I layed down in her arms and immediately felt warm and safe and loved. We work as a team and the gender roles switch back and forth and back again, and it is perfect that way. I can be strong for her and she can be strong for me. It feels normal and natural and good.
So i won't say I knew that I'd be here, but had someone told me back then that this is where I'd be, I would have been cool with that, and would have wondered, 'what's all the fuss about?'

Answer 6

It's difficult to ask someone to remember sexual feelings as a child when we really don't have them as children. By the same token, you could ask "How old were you when you realized you were heterosexual?"

Regardless, as a child, I always had an "interest" in the same sex, and I always felt like a regular kid.

We don't choose to be gay or straight. Sexual attraction can't just be turned on and off. By saying it's a choice, you are saying that a married man could suddenly "choose" to not find females sexually attractive. It doesn't work that way.

You can choose who you have sex with. You can choose what you do in bed, but you can't choose your true sexuality.

Answer 7

I chose to be as I was born to be. I refused to attempt to live up to the lie that I was taught of "This is how you have to be". I've always known I was different. I had no idea what that difference was until the kids my age started hitting puberty and becoming interested in the opposite sex, I never developed that interest. Once I knew about sex, I wasn't interested in that either, at least not with girls. I grew up in an extremely small town(current population around 2100) and thought I was the only one there. I eventually learned better.

Answer 8

I was definitely born that way. I knew I liked guys since I was six, but I didn't call it gay till I was about 12 or 13.

Answer 9

I felt different, but didn't know why until puberty when I started to be sexually attracted to other boys.

It has also been established that being gay is biologic and not a choice that is made. The only choice is to accept oneself and to choose whether to be 'out' or not.

An October 2004 scientific research publication stated that scientists at the University of Padua have found that women tend to have more children when they inherit the same genetic factors linked to homosexuality in men. This fertility boost more than compensates for the lack of offspring fathered by gay men, and keeps the “gay” genetic factors in circulation. Mothers of gay men produced an average of 2.7 babies compared with 2.3 born to mothers of straight men. And maternal aunts of gay men had 2.0 babies compared with 1.5 born to the maternal aunts of straight men.

Another study published in Human Genetics in February 2006 examined X chromosome inactivation in mothers of gay sons and mothers whose sons were not gay. Normally, X chromosome inactivation occurs at random: half of the cells in a woman's body will have one X chromosome inactivated, while the other half inactivates the other chromosome. Researchers found that in about a quarter of mothers who had at least two gay sons every single cell in these women inactivated the same X chromosome while only 4 percent of mothers with no gay sons showed this type of extreme skewing.

A Canadian university study published in June of 2006 stated that, although researchers have known for years that a man's likelihood of being gay rises with the number of older biological brothers, that the new study found that the so-called "fraternal birth order effect" persists even if gay men were raised away from their biological families.

A January 2007 report suggested to be gay you need to receive one gay gene from both parents, and that those with only one gay gene have a selective advantage because they are heterosexual but have increased style, male sex drive, charm and seductiveness towards women.

Answer 10

Honestly I didn't think about it at all, but when I reflect back now I realize as I matured I did find myself wanting to get closer to my same sex friends then I did to the opposite sex.
I am one of those who can't honestly answer how this came about, but I know I didn't choose it. In addition, lack of choosing doesn't necessarily mean I was born this way, but it does mean I COULDN'T choose to reverse the process if I wanted to, just as someone can't choose to stop their fingernails from growing.