If you're married or in a serious relationship...?

Question

Do you have that ONE friend or relative who doesn't quite get the hint about how important quality/family time is? You know, the person who calls constantly and then gets upset when you don't answer so they keep calling back. Or you answer and tell them now is not a good time and you hear the hurt in their voice and they still call back later on. Is it really that hard for some single people especially the ones without children to understand that marriage is more than just one day of vows and that sometimes couples need time alone? Or are they just plain rude?

Dee the Genius: We might have the same friend, lol. As soon as this chick met this guy off MySpace and they started dating, I haven't seen her since. But she calls me constantly like 4-5 daily and gets upset because I don't chitchat on the phone when my husband's around or when I'm busy caring for my 7 month old.

Thank you, you all have given great answers. I should've known this friend would be like this because when her friend Janice got married and starting having kids, she complained to me about never being able to see Janice anymore and that she was always too busy for her. I tried to explain to my friend back then that married people need time and that kids take up a lot of it so when the kids are sleeping or away, that's the couple's time together.

Answer 1

yeah. it's called my immature older brother.

Answer 2

Yes, it is difficult for people to understand this if they have never been married or in a very serious relationship. I have been married 3 1/2 yrs. & we have 2 little girls. The hard part for us is that not too many of our friends have kids, because we are young parents. I'll be 21 in a month & he is 24, our oldest is 3 1/2 so we were very young when we had her. Not many people that don't have kids understand the magnitude of it until they have their own, & even then some still don't. So yes I understand what u mean, but we don't have too much of a problem spending time alone...well I take that back but it's our 3 y. old that's always around so he & I never get much alone time with each other. And when she stays the night at her nana's house we are just so tired we don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything. Our other daughter is 4 months old, so sleep is something we are just starting to enjoy again.
NE ways good luck

Answer 3

My next door neighbor is always in my house,I don,t have a problem and we always sit and have a natter and a cup of tea but she just sits when my hubby comes home from work i try to hint that i need to cook dinner and spend a bit of time with him but she don,t take the hint,So now i have to say to her that i am busy and that i haven't got the time to make her a cuppa i do feel a bit guilty but i have to put my family first..

Answer 4

Sometimes they need to be told over and over again. And even then, they STILL might not get it. For example, one of my guy friends calls me at least 2 or 3 times every day just to say hi. He never actually has anything important to talk about, and gets mad when I appear to be not paying attention. He calls when I'm out on dates or when I'm making dinner. If I don't answer, he calls over and over again until I finally get frustrated enough to answer. Today it took me 14 times of him calling before I finally answered.

If it gets too extreme, block their number. I'm about to that breaking point as well.

Answer 5

My sister-in-law. But I fixed that, I don't answer my phone, I let the answering service get it. She never leaves a message(I see it's her on the caller ID) so I don't call back. She's a mean and spite full person who likes to run my family down, so I do not want to talk to or see her. It's been a moth since I've done either. Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

some of the people that call me just don't understand so badly I usually make something up so they will finally say, Oh, ok. and let me off the hook....so to speak. That way I don't have to worry about hurting their feelings. When they continue to keep calling back I just want to answer like, "O.K. WHAT'S SOOOO (explicit) IMPORTANT!! (Because u and I both know it never is).

Answer 7

Yes I had one of those guys, a friend of my husbands. After our first child he called every-evening. He would come over when he knew we got home from work. Went for coffee every Saturday morning with hubby. After 3 months I told him to go make a family or find one. =)

Answer 8

Yeah, my husband's brother always calls us wanting to go out or just come over and drink. Sometimes we gotta go grocery shopping or just wanna be home alone..by ourselves...He will either tag along to the grocery store w/ us (how pathetic!) or he will come over anyway and "sit in between us" (j/k, but practically) He's not small either. He's 22....And he has a g/f. What gives? I love him and all...but sheesh!!!

Answer 9

Those people don't understand the concept of boundaries. It has nothing to do with their marital status. It has to do with them not being able to understand "no" or "not right now".

Be firm but gentle. However, you may be putting them off and never, ever responding to them. If that's the case, you need to end the relationship (friendship). If you don't have time for your friends, then you're not a friend period.

For example, if you told me you were going to call me later, and you didn't, I may call you again, but if it happened again, I'd never call you again, whether you were family or not.

Not only do you need to look at what they do, but how you handle the situation.

Good luck.

Answer 10

My best friend does it a lot. She usually calls right at dinner time. She is engaged and lives with her man and they have 2 kids, but they don't do a lot of family things like sit down and eat dinner together...

So when she calls, and its inconvienant, I just don't answer...

Answer 11

I have a single friend that thinks I can just pick up my baby and go anywhere. She has NO CLUE how much work it takes to get a baby out of the house.