I have a friend, who's also my sister in law, and most of the time I feel insecure as a friend around her. I know that she confides in me, and I also know that she has many problems (or issues) of her own, but every time we get together is because I tell her. I know that it's not that important and I could talk it with her, but I don't know if I really want to. Anyway I can't help feeling awkward when we have family reunions and she in her "cold" phase. I have other friends, so I don't know why this bothers me so much. More than making things better with her, I would like not to feel this way. Ideas?
2007-03-23 06:16:55 · 5 answers · asked by Cali 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well I don't really understand the question but from what I can salvage sounds to me like you're trying to help someone who doesn't want it, and it bothers you so much because she just isn't your friend but she is also family so that makes her special. Peopel have isssues, you do, I do and she does, some are just better at covering them up than others. There should be no awkwardness why would it be awkward? She's being cold so what? All you can do is love her and the rest is really up to her talk to her later, another time, when you love family and friends you either love them unconditionally or not at all, you're always going to be tied together. My cousins are the same way, we were more than family but friends and we would talk and spend large amounts of time with them, but when we got older and we grew up and they didn't they felt like we thought we were too good for them. They would talk to us when we were alone but at family functions they would ignore us completely, our situation is now blown so much out of control that no one could fix it if they tried. We're two different people I pray for them and love them, but the friendship is over. I gave up on them, don't give up on her, sometimes it's the one thing that makes a difference babe. Talk to her about it good luck!
2007-03-23 06:30:58 · answer #1 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on the positive parts of your relationship. Enjoy the moments that don't feel awkward and when she is in her "cold phase" simply go spend time at the gathering with people you are more comfortable with.
Sounds like you may never be best friends, but you get along for the most part. Be thankful for that. Some people just aren't meant to be super close. That is okay.
2007-03-23 13:21:19 · answer #2 · answered by Tamborine 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are feeling that bad about the relationship then back off. Obviously she has issues like you said. Don't call and don't hang out. Just give excuses if she calls. If that does not work then you have to tell her how you really feel. Don't feel so down about this. You are not the problem here. Continue to be polite and be her in law, but cool it a little on the friendship. Good luck.
2007-03-23 13:24:54 · answer #3 · answered by looloo1122 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it's called a gut feeling that perhaps your business isn't as confidential as you think. or,Perhaps it's a power play on her part to make you feel like she is your only friend and you need to be one of those other friends. One thing I know for sure is you don't confide in in laws.Do you have a church fellowship where you can expand your circle of friends? Just be choosy, watch their behavior, then there words.
2007-03-23 13:29:50 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should try confiding something not that important to you and see if she can keep it to herself first, if she can try something else, than when you think she had enough testing you decide if she is as good as a true friend should be
2007-03-23 13:22:00 · answer #5 · answered by youppi82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋