I married my wife without being "in love with her". I do love her as a person, but she has many issues. She jumps from therapist, to pastors, to anybody that gives her advice, and on that day I get the "other" personality. She has no real friends, just me. She is incapable of thinking for herself. She is very childish. It has been way too much. I want out so bad, but I live in fear cuz she is dangerous (not physically) she just calls everybody "I" know. Basic charecter assination. Of course "I push her over the edge", which I will confess I have said things to her that are the cruelest things possible, just so she would get the point. She will not go away without destruction. We have a house, stuff, She has a daughter that lives with us. It is my fault, I married her becuz we dated, were compatible as far as getting stuff and our lives back together, now 4 years later. I'm Screwed. Any advice for me ? I am having a hard time, and living in fear.
2007-03-23 04:52:30 · 18 answers · asked by John c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I love our daughter and worry what type of life she is going to have without my stability. My wife lost her Mom at 10 yrs old, and was severly neglected by everyone else until I met her. She is in a fantasy world, heavy denial. You cant have an adult conversation with her. I really tried to make it work but everytime we fight she panics and gets sickening to everyone around her. Yesterday was God is strength day, Today therapist told her dont be talked down to, I cant keep up, and Im married to sybil
2007-03-23 04:55:49 · update #1
If you are not happy, leave. Plain and simple.
2007-03-23 04:57:02 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, are you my husband??? That must be what my poor husband thinks of me...
Well maybe you could find her another therapist, and tell her what you just told everyone here. Be calm and gentle and just tell her the truth. "Honey, I can't be with you anymore like this. One day you are going on about God and the next about your therapist. I fear you because I don't know what is wrong, and I don't know how to help. This has got to end, all of this childish self indulgent crap. It is either me or you can have your multi-personality somewhere else, but no longer can I be a slave of your tantrums. I need a real wife at home, some one who is going to be there because she knows that it is her job."
At any rate the best of luck, and the best of everything to you. I hope that you will find your peace you are so desperately looking for.
2007-03-23 05:07:25 · answer #2 · answered by marymouse26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly, do no longer call your self nuts, no might desire to get down on your self. think ofyou've have been given your self in an exceedingly undesirable venture and that's killing you (actually) and you will possibly desire to do away with your self or him. you probable might desire to provide him 30 day word, for the reason that he's nearly a room mate and if he would not leave you may take legal movements. Being that your place sure (i'm guessing medically) you will possibly desire to locate somebody which will assist you... neighbor, kinfolk, pal...etc. i've got faith for the reason which you wrote this you're severe and arranged at this element and you % extra, be sturdy, locate help, seperate your self from this guy and seem to get some emotional help. it extremely isn't something to be ashamed approximately, it purely time to guard it... My heart is going out to you... good success... stay sturdy!
2016-10-20 07:14:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wife truly has psychiatric problems, then you might just get custody of your daughter. Your wife is also controlling you with her behavior. Don't let her do this. If she runs to everyone you know, let her. Soon everyone will see what she's doing and not want anything to do with her. Don't stoop to her level in calling her names. That won't get you anywhere. In the mean time, contact an attorney, file for divorce and move out temporarily if you have to.
2007-03-23 08:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You make her sound horrible. You make yourself sound so wonderful and giving. Sacrificing yourself for her daughter's happiness. Now it's all your wife's fault that things aren't going the way you wanted them to. You need therapy to determine your true motives and character because you are living in a fantasy land thinking you are so great.
So, instead of whining, go get some professional help. You are more "sick" then your wife.
2007-03-23 05:35:57 · answer #5 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its obvious that your wife does not have an identity of her own. It seems that she is trying to figure it out through other people. She seems very childish and immature. So many people have grown up in dysfunctional household or have bad things happen to them but it is no excuse to be a mess all of your life. I don't know if she has a job but she might just have too much time on her hands and needs to get a life of her own. It is one thing to be there for your spouse but it is another thing to be their crutch. We are all responsible for our own emotions and actions and if she wants to act like a psycho to everyone you know then that is what she will look like a nut and eventually they won't want to deal with her anymore than you do. People will get sick of all of her drama and she will realize that she is not getting attention from that behavior and maybe she will get a grip. If not then its not your problem. It is clear that he is unhappy with herself and that has nothing to do with you. Yes you took vows but you also have to take your own happiness into account and if its not working with her then move on!!!
2007-03-23 05:16:21 · answer #6 · answered by L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course there is no simple answer, especially with a child in the picture.
Check out this link below. Of course every marriage is worth saving, again, especially with a child. No child should be torn between two parents. But it takes two people that are truly willing to work on it. They can't think of it as 'your problem' or 'my problem'. It is 'our problem' that needs to be worked on together.
2007-03-23 05:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by uds_montoya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't uncommon for couples to marry without being in love. Some will marry because they live in fear that they will spend their life alone. I really don't have an answer for you. I'm sorry.
2007-03-23 13:04:39 · answer #8 · answered by sweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least you are honest.
But get the hell out. Guilt helps no one, and you can't change her, and being as brutal as you say you are probably isn't sinking in.
Your ability to help someone who really can't be helped just isn't there, and you don't want to loose much more of yourself to someone so co-dependent (although I HATE using that word - so clinical!).
Quit looking at it as fault. At least you know you did try. Keep being honest with yourself though because you know you aren't helping by staying.
2007-03-23 05:02:43 · answer #9 · answered by Done 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife has been through alot in her life...and, so have you.
I'm sorry for your situation but, I don't know what you can do.
To just pack up and leave is not a simple answer, we all know that...have you tried couple counselling?
Sorry I couldn't offer more.
2007-03-23 05:01:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your wife is ill. Not physically, but emotionally. Would you leave her if she had a physical illness? If not, what would you do? Maybe you can help her through this emotional illness.
2007-03-23 05:04:53 · answer #11 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋