im a white guy and i have a lot of love for a black lady ive seen for about 2 years. our families dont agree , but i want to ask her to marry me. how can i sway her fathers mindset.
2007-03-23 04:42:16 · 16 answers · asked by wmarks80 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
love her, take care of her you dont have to sway hers father mindset, time will tell.
2007-03-23 04:47:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friend just married a man from India. They had been going out for 7 years. When she first started going around to his house, his mother and aunt would sit at the table with my friend there and talk about planning his arranged marriage, which made my friend very uncomfortable. A few months before her wedding his mother made a comment that she would be there when he was done for his arranged marriage (saying they wouldnt last and get divorced) My friend stuck by him no matter what, she was not leaving the man she loved because his family didnt approve and as well he stayed by her even though they didnt approve. It doesnt matter what color you are, what race you are, if you to love each other who cares what everyone else thinks. The most important thing is what you two feel.
Dont wait for the fathers approval, do what feels right, what your heart is telling you. Eventually down the road the famililes may come around, and they may not!
If they dont oh well, you will be with the one person who you love, and want to spend the rest of your life with!
2007-03-23 12:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by SUSAN W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is an adult then it is her decision to marry you not her father. If you truly love this women nothing can ever come between the two of you except for you know lol. Love has no color and if it was really really wrong for us to not date interacially then I would think we could not have children. I know we are not animals but here is an example: A little white poodle will mate with a black doby and have puppies. Now that white poodle will not mate with a cat and if they did there would be no offspring. Sounds corny I know lol. If you love that girl do not worry about her family or yours focus your time on the one you love.
2007-03-23 13:43:58 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't sway the father, but be as loving and sweet to her as possible. Hopefully he'll see the good in you, rather than the white. I could tell you to do it anyway, but that would be wrong of me to break up the two families. Best thing to do if you want to get married to her, is talk one-on-one with the father and explain to him that your life has been enhanced by your girlfriend and that it'd make you happy to be a part of his family too. Maybe that'll sway him a bit if he sees you are sincere in your love of his daughter.
2007-03-23 11:48:46 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know that even now people still look at the color of peoples skin, try not to make such a big thing of it, if the two of you love each others,nothing matters. You can try to talk to her father and say how you feel about his daughter, it might not be what you expect but at least your Man enough to face them.
For both families,they will say what they think but remember you will marry her and not her whole family,just remember that. Do not let no one interfere to both of your happiness.........good luck and be happy!!!
2007-03-23 12:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will probably never be able to change his mind. Just ask your girl to marry you. There are still people out there that were raised that races should not mix. My parents are like that. I am married to another of my race, but when the time comes for one of my daughters to marry and they chose someone of a different race, that's fine. As long as the man treats them good, that's all that matters. Good Luck!
2007-03-23 11:48:39 · answer #6 · answered by aahhdahh 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whether we like it or not there will always be people who feel that interracial dating or marriage is taboo. Somewhere with this understanding, you need to get past that and realize that there are many of us who love and enjoy people regardless of who they are or their skin color.
It sounds like you met someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. This is wonderful and finding a true love doesn't always come easy. If you and your future fiance are truly committed to each other then both of you must come first in your lives, and extended family must come second. However, families play an important role in our lives and we must honor and respect them.
You cannot change her father's mindset. I expect that regardless of your color he loves his daughter very much. Whoever marries his daughter may never be good enough to him until time proves itself. What you need to do is to love and cherish your future wife. Always treat her like a lady and give her the respect she deserves, ALWAYS. When you talk to her daddy, and if he asks you why you want to marry her you need to tell him that it is because you love her with all of your heart. You love her so deeply that you cannot think of spending your life without her. Genuine love is the key to this and without love you are just wasting time. When you say you have "a lot of love for a black lady" I hope you mean that this wonderful lady makes your eyes go googley, your heart skips a beat, your stomach aches when she is not around, and your desire for her is to make her happy, you want to provide for her like a queen, and you want to raise children to express your happiness for each other.
Good luck on talking with her dad. Keep this in mind. Your future wife's view of men has been shaped by him. If she respects him then she will (not intentionally) compare you and him. Regardless of his views of you you must repect and honor him as a person and as her father. Keep negative opinions to yourself. Don't be a doormat. Just love his daughter and provide for her the best that you can.
PS: I think it is a good thing that you respect her father. Family is important.
2007-03-23 11:45:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you really can't change someone's view on something like that easily but i would sit down with him and tell him you would like to marry his daughter and that although he may not agree you hope he can accept it because all that should matter is your love and happiness. maybe over time once he sees how happy you make each other he won't see color as an issue
2007-03-23 11:47:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't even try to sway him, just tell him I love your daughter she loves me and we're getting married I would love to have your approval, but if not thats ok too
2007-03-23 11:49:13 · answer #9 · answered by Great one 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I got it worse than you im dating a indian girl which is worse. So I say go for it. Love is love no matter what. So go for it. Plus eventually they'll get over it. Even though I haven't told her parents we are dating. Dating 15 months and growing.
2007-03-23 11:47:32 · answer #10 · answered by Charles 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋