About my ex and I?

Question

Ok, this is kinda a long story and I don't know if should be askin this on yahoo, but I will give it a try. My ex and I have been broken up for 3 months. We have KNOWN each other for almost 8 years. We are both 24 and we reunited last march. It had been 4 years since we had spoken to each other. When we first dated when we were teens, we weren't as serious but there was always this connection we had. We were too young to really know what would come out of it. so when we realized last march when we started talkin again that we both had feelings for each other still, we decided to give it another try. He said he had missed me for those 4 years that we didn't talk.
So we never were very compatible, but I think it had to do a lot with distance. He lives in San antonio, and I live in ft worth, texas. We have always had that distance between us. It was simply fate that brought us back together this last time. That is why we thought we were meant to be cuz God gave us a second chance..

Ok. Wasn't finished. So we gave it another try and we had a lot of conflicts. Differences.. I won't even go into the problems but we had a lot of things against us. We had the distance and both of us are stubborn and we or (I) wasn't really wiling to compromise much because the things I wanted he didn't see that he needed to change them.. Like he smokes weed and he has always been brought up aqround that so he thinks there is nothing wrong w/ it. He is also very close to his family, being that he is half hispanic. His dad was wanting him to be int he family business. His dad is lazy in my opinion and just sent him to college so he could help the family out. He would tell me how much he hated his dad breathing down his neck about money and he didn't really want to be in hte family business but he felt it was his obligation I think. Before we broke up, (or he broke up wtih me) he told me he talked to his dad and told him he didn't want to be int eh family business. I don't think he just

I don't think he just told his dad this because I wanted him to, but I think he really didn't want to be in the family business. Well it doesn't really matter if he is now because we are broken up. He broke it off with me because he just couldn't handle all the stress. We still write back and forth kinda, but he basically just answers all the questions I have. I know he is truthful about what he says, because he has always been the most guinuine person I have ever known. He has told me that he knows that no one wille ver make him feel the way I do.. I also asked him if he thought we could ever possibly be husband and wife(because we talked about this when we were together this time around) and he said, he sincerely hoped so.. that there was no one he'd rather be with. I know he isn't over me because I told him about this dude I hung out with and he wrote me back and was like, I can't believe you told me this.. I got all these images in my head and you how no idea what that did to me.

So anyways, I could tell he still cared. at the end of the letter he said, I guess it dosn't really matter what you do, but just don't tell me about it. He said he didn't knwo if we could be my "friend" because hearing that stuff was really too much for him and he couldn't handle hearing about it. He broke it off with me, but he really does believe that timing was not on our side. that if all these things that added up weren't there we would have worked. But I think he does hope that someday we will. He believes in Destiny. He also told me he knows there is no one who will have the love and appreciation that he has for me. he also told me in a lette that he wrote about 2 weeks ago that he has to look at himself in the mirror everyday and wonder if he made a mistake.. and sometimes he is kept up at night wondering. he feels he betrayed our love. I know that he tends to go with his head instead of his heart but I can't understand why if he knows he loves me, why he doesn't think we can w

he thinks we can't work. I know he is kinda the type of person who when things get rough he can't handle that. I have known him for 8 years ad he has always been like that. He thought our relationship would be perfect an dwhen he realized it wasn't he just started feeling we weren't doin good. and well he doesn't always deal with stuff and he shoves it behind him.
I mean it took him 2 months to write me finally because he was afraid of what to say to me. and when he did finally write me he told me at the end of the lette that it was really harder tahn he thoguht to write the lette rbecause he had been ignoring the emotions he had. well ok so that is it. tell me what you think.

OK TO MAKE SOMETHING CLEAR. SORRY i AM WRITING IN UPPERCASE, BUT i NEED IT TO BE RECOGNIZED. WE BROKE UP BUT HE STILL *HOPES* THAT ONE DAY WE FATE WILL BRING US BACK TOGETHER. HE DOESN'T THINK RIGHT NOW IT WILL WORK DO TO EVERYTHING. I DONT THINK HE IS WILLIN TO WORK ON IT RIGHT NOW CUZ WHEN HE DECIDES SOMETHING HE STICKS WITH IT. EVEN IF IT ISN'T THE RIGHT CHOICE. LIKE I SAID HE OFTEN WONDERS IF HE MADE *MISTAKE*. SO WE ARE NOT GOING TO BE GETTING MARRIED ANYTIME SOON. THE ONLY REASON I BROUGHT UP MARRIAGE WAS BECAUSE WE TALKED ABOUT THAT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. I WAS THE FIRST GIRL HE EVER TALKED ABOUT MARRIAGE OR KIDS WITH. HE HAS NEVER *THOUGHT* ABOUT THAT WITH ANYONE ELSE. MAYBE IT IS CUZ OF OUR HISTORY THAT WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER. ANYWAYS JUST TO CLEAR THINGS UP, MARRIAGE ISNT IN THE QUESTION RIGHT NOW. I GUESS DESTINY WILL HAVE TO BRING US TOGEHTER. UNTIL THEN WE WON'T BE TOGETHER UNLESS I BEG HIM BACK. I KONW HE LOVES ME THOUGH.

Answer 1

I know you are not done, because I don't really see a question, but there is already a red flag. He smokes marijuana, an illegal drug the use of which you seem to not approve of. What kind of implications would that have for your future? Forexample, if you chose to have children with this man, would he be willing to keep his illegal drug abuse away from his children? Or would he selfishly ignore that it makes you uncomfortable and that it is damaging to his children? You need to think about your future with him objectively. Take out the fact that you think you are in love with him. Are his behaviors really something you think you can live with for the rest of your life, especially if children will be involved?

Answer 2

Well, a relationship, especially a marriage, is making a comittment to each other. One of those factors is you both 'leave' your families and become your own family. It is VERY important that both people are willing to put their spouses opinions/beliefs/needs in front of their 'old' familes. Not to say you need to totally give up on your families, but only if the other is comfortable and it is healty for the marriage.

Regarding habits, you can not change your spouse. It is something they need to do. When a man marries he needs to put his wife's needs first. If you feel it is important to stay away from weed (and I think it is too), then he should realize that it is important to you and that it would be best for the marriage to do this for you.

Any relationship or comittment takes work. But if done correctly (and completely) you will see awesome results.

Check out the link below for some help on marriage.

Answer 3

Am going to tell you the truth after reading your LONG letter. That man is not in love with you. And you are just going on time how long you known him and what he says in a letter. Your now 24 and so is he. He don't know want he wants and it's not being with you long term. God did not give you a second chance and you didn't meant up by fate either that was just some kind of mistake that you saw him again. And why would you want to settle with a person who is washy washy. And he the type of person who going to always do what his family wants. His wife/girlfriend is going to always come second, because he feels that is his family first. You need to leave him alone and stop wishing on a star.And read ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives by Dr. Laura C. Shlesssinger

Answer 4

You have a lot of drama going on in this relationship. A relationship shouldn't be that hard.

Answer 5

you're giving us too much information. You both need to see a counselor, for everyone involved.

Answer 6

I'm sorry but you just put me to sleep...................................