Need some helpful advice please?

Question

My boyfriend has been trying to give up smoking for just over a year, we have tried everything from hypnotherapy to patches but nothing works, his health his getting worse everyday.

He has recently been to the local nurse to explain what we're going through, but she had quit smoking using willpower alone so said that this was all he needed, as you can imagine, this did not help as we are both trying really hard.

I realise that people who have never smoked will find it hard to believe the struggle we are going through but if anyone has some real advice please let me know as we are running out of options

Answer 1

Having been through giving up myself, I know just how hard it is. You are right that people who haven't been through it just can't understand. My partner has been trying to give up for a long time, and it just isn't working at the moment.

I spoke to my mum about it, she gave up about 7 years ago and she said not to worry - when the time is right it will click. Keep trying and don't give up hope - just beauce it isn't working right now doesn't mean it won't work.

Have you both tried all your options? You can also discuss using the patches as well as the lozenges with you doctor. Have you been prescribed Champix or Zyban?

The one thing that helped my mum was a sticker chart. Sounds simple but they can really help some people, might be worth a try. She needed the visual reminder that she was doing well.

Is it both you giving up together or just your boyfriend? Me and my partner have found that we cannot give up together - we both get grouchy and annoy each other! My parents were the same, my mum waited till my dad was safely given up before giving up herself.

Answer 2

It is really hard and there is no easy answer or magic wand. It really is about willpower and motivation. However, there are lots of things you can do to try and increase these.... and lots of resources, information and supports out there. You have to keep trying until you find a strategy that suits you and a time that is right for you.
I have been trying to give up for 10 years (currently non-smoker for the last 4 months). I found anything to put in my mouth useful!!!... nicorette gum (or ordinary gum), boiled sweets, mints. I always prepared for difficult occasions in advance (nights at the pub) by making sure I had my 'crutches' (nicorette inhalator) and telling friends it would be difficult. If your friends aren't supportive its a lot more difficult.
I also found a fresh start group useful a couple of years ago (although obviously this wasn't totally successful).
the most important thing I think is to take a day at a time... even an hour at a time.
Remember that cravings only last a couple of minutes if you distract yourself with activity. If you want to smoke just say to yourself "I'll just try this (piece of gum/phoning a friend/washing up) first" and chances are the craving will pass.

Answer 3

Although I am a non smoker I did help a partner through quitting so I do know what a struggle it can be. Don't give up it will be worth it in the long run.

I am surprised the nurse wasn't more helpful

Have you tried NHS Direct at www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk, look for smoking (quitting) you may find some of the information useful, including support organisations, links and recommendations. From their homepage select health encyclopaedia, the A-Z, select S and scroll down to smoking (quitting)

Also make sure you are both eating well to cope with the extra physical and emotional stress, maybe take a short course of multivitamins.

Answer 4

I think sometimes a complete change of environment helps. But for those who cant afford a holiday well. My friends who had both smoked for over twenty years, the wife having smoked sixty a day gave up with the help of this kind of herbal liquid which they got from the health food shop, and they did not have any cravings.
The name of the mixture is called KUDZU. It comes in a little bottle with a dropper in the lid and it is not expensive at all, a few pounds. It's worth a try. You put ten drops in half a glass of warm water then drink. It costs £3.99 for 250mg, from a place called GNC Live Well,which is the name of the site, or look it up on the Internet, there are a few places which sell it. It has been used to help cure alcoholics. But it works for smoking addiction as well. It worked for both of them and they have not smoked now for over eighteen months. Also you could try acupuncture I have heard people give up using that technique. Good luck..

Answer 5

i was exactly the same. the willpower will come only when he is truly ready. i did it with patches and a severe asthma attack. being confined to a hospital bed on oxygen is one hell of an incentive to quit. i have slipped a few times since though so i understand what your bf is going through. if he has cut down then it is a good start. try putting the money you save from giving up into a jar. watching it pile up is nice. if there is something he really wants then tell him to look at the jar as a reminder that he can have it if he finally quits. buy him some sweets to suck, i had worthers originals. tell him not to get angry with himself when he slips, just take one day at a time. the disassociation of habit is what is hardest thing. if he smokes when drinking tea then tell him to hold something in the other hand instead of the cigarette. it is not easy and dont let anyone who has given up themselves tell you it is. some people have willpower, others dont. i wish you both good luck.

Answer 6

He must have some willpower if he wants to stop smoking. Remind him the reason why he's trying to give up. Maybe if there's a reward for him at the end of every goal. Say if he doest smoke for a week then the money hes saved up from not smoking can buy something small that he wants and then wait a month and buy something bigger and so on. There must be a good reason why he's trying so hard so you need to keep reminding him of that reason.

Answer 7

One of the toughest things to do, but it can be done. My only advice is to take it one day at a time. Each day is a milestone to the next day. The first seven days are the hardest. Once you make is through that, it does get easier. Set yourself a goal, a vacation, a new car, whatever, and maintain that in your mind. The money that you save from not smoking will help finance your goal. Remember it is possible to quit, but it is not easy. You can do it. Just have faith in yourself and take each day as that. Good luck!

Answer 8

I smoked for 2 an prolonged time. I used the patch. you do no longer initiate with the main effective however the single down from the main effective. I additionally sent off for unfastened information from the yank maximum cancers society and the Lung association. Then I picked a stop date and planed my week around it. the 1st day became on a Sunday. I went to places the place there became no smoking. video clips, mall etc. and that i stayed faraway from human beings who smoke. i began walking and eating lots of water. and that i prayed!!! After 5 tried, and quiting for months at a time i eventually did it with Gods help! i do no longer prefer it in any respect anymore. it is been 9 years now. Whew... †

Answer 9

i have never been a smoker liking a drink instead but my dad has been smoking for 65years he is now 81 he started to get pains in his legs that frightened him to the extent he stopped smoking overnight he has coped very well with it but has gone from 11stone to 8.13 and looks just awful
he has been up being sick everynight and cant keep anything down he has gone from a strong man at xmas to a shadow of his former self it is heartbreaking to see we all love him dearly and he is to be a great grandfather in july but we fear he wont be here to see it i have now seen the problems of smoking first hand and your partner is so precious you cant afford to let this happen i cant give advice on giving up but i can say its not a nice way to go for the sake of a cigarette i realise it is easier said than done but i sincerly wish you both well and the very best of luck

Answer 10

Change practices - I have a friend who had great help from her practice nurse who was not too snooty when she had the odd lapse.
Try www.abchomeopathy.com then typing in smoking in search box.
Good luck with the struggle.