Is it normal to be this scared?

Question

I am 38 weeks pregnant and the doctor told me 2 days ago that I was 2 cm dialated and would probably go into labor in the next week or so. I am petrified. This is my first child and I am very afraid of the delivery. Most of my friends and family that have had kids say its not that bad especially if you get the epidural. My husband had a daughter from a previous relationship and all he can say is dont worry its no big deal! I'd like to see him go through this. Not only am I scared of the actual delivery but I am afraid to leave the house for fear that we will be out in public and my water will break. Now that it is finally getting nice outside I am getting cabin fever. I am also scared that I wont be able to handle a newborn, up every 2 hours the constant crying, the lack of sleep all that stuff. I think I am suffering from post partum depression already. Dont get me wrong I love my son and I cant wait to meet him but I am so afraid of doing something wrong.

Went to the doc again yesterday and he said there has been no change so it will be at least another week. Now I am to the point where I just want to have him and be done with this pregnancy! I want to see my son and I cant take this discomfort anymore! I think I am going nuts.

Answer 1

It'll be okay. Every first time mom is nervous about it. It's totally normal. When I had my first son, I was the same way. Come to think of it, with my other 2, I was as well! You always wander if you'll be able to handle one more, even after your fisrt. But you will. As far as labor, it's normal to be scared. You don't know what the pain will feel like, because you've never experienced it before. And with all these horror stories about how it is the worst pain you could ever imagine, that doesn't help. But women have babies all the time. And I can tell you from 3 kids, and only an epidural with the first, I've experienced both sides.With the epidural, you feel absolutely nothing below the waist. But you are very out of it, and it's harder to push when the time comes.It may draw out the labor a little longer. I decided with the next one to not get one. For one, I hate needles, and for two, I wanted to experience it naturally. It was not THAT bad. If it was, I wouldn't have done it naturally with my third, also. It feels like really bad period cramps. Yes, it hurts, but it is tolerable, if you can focus on something else. I just had to grit my teeth with each contraction and wait for them to pass. Some contractions are harder than others, especially around the end. But just remember, it IS tolerable, and women do it all the time. Since it is your first, and you don't quite know what you will be experiencing yet, you may want to go ahead and get the epidural. That was the reason why I did with my first. After seeing what it was like to deliver, after my first I felt more comfortable not having one the next time. Either way, you can do it, and you'll be fine. As for a newborn, it is totally normal to be scared about being able to handle it. I'm not going to lie, it is rough in the beginning, but only because you are not used to it. I went back to work 2 weeks after my first one was born, because I had to, I was a single mother. I felt like I was going to die from exhaustion. They do wake up about every 2 hours, but the good thing is, they also sleep ALOT, sometimes 4-6 hour naps during the day. In the beginning, make sure and rest when your baby does, until he is on a schedule and sleeps more normally at night. In about a month, your body will be totally used to the changes, and you'll be fine.As far as worrying if you'll be a good mom, you will be. You love your son, and that's all it takes. Usually at the hospital they give you care instructions for your newborn, because all new mom's feel this way. Make sure to ask them questions as well, don't feel stupid if you don't know something. You are a new mom, and its normal to have questions. I also read many parenting magazines, and called my mom alot with my first. She loved helping. You can also call your local pediatrician for answers. I did this as well. The things that scared me the most were baths, and cutting their nails. I had my mom help me out with both in the beginning. Just remember, don't be scared to ask for help. Everybody knows how tiring a newborn can be. Don't be scared to ask for someone to watch him for a little while, also, so you can have a break. You deserve this as a new mother. But you love your son, and that already makes you a good parent. That's the first and most important thing. Everything else just comes with practice. You'll have it down in no time. Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 2

Sweetheart. Take a deep breath ( innnnnnnnnnnn, outttttttttttttttt). Everything will be ok. I just had a 9lb son 6 months ago. My labor wasn't to bad until they broke my water. That's when I had an injection of Nubain in my IV. An epidural is also quite effective more so than the Nubain. I had the epidural with my first child. As for the crying and things. My cousin has a son who's nine months and still doesn't sleep through the night, but my son has been sleeping through since he was about 2 or 3 months. Every baby is different. Once you meet your son and realize how wonderful he is you will forget all about the pain you endured and the sometimes sleepless nights. The best thing you can do is take help from anyone you trust your child with, and because this is your first try your best to sleep when he does. If your house is a little messy don't worry about it. People aren't going to expect your house to be spotless you just had a new baby. Everything will be fine. Good luck and Bless you and your little bundle.

Answer 3

Be a little scared but don't freak out, you're going through a natural process, think about the billions of women through history that've done what you're doing now, billions! I'm sure you can do it too.

Oh I have heard that if you get the epidural that you get a higher risk of needing a c-section, so talk to your doctor to make sure you make the best decision for you.

As for baby adjustments, getting up every couple hours only lasts a little while, and you can easily work this between you and your partner so only one of you gets up every 2 hours.

As for freaking out about going out, don't. Grab your husband and go for a nice walk, or shopping or something. Noone will look down on you if your water breaks. But again if you're worried, do something more outdoors, like a walk, or window shopping or somesuch. Having your husband with you will help as you will know you have someone there to drive you if you need, so it's all the security of home while out.

As for postpartum depression, some of it is normal, you'll be going through a physical change in body and in hormones, just remember that it's not your permanent outlook, and work past it. It will get better and clear up in no time.

For anything else, relax and enjoy the end of your pregnancy, take some pictures too so you can show your kid when he's older.

Answer 4

It's perfectly normal to feel the way you are, especially since this is your first child. Everything will work out fine, just keep telling yourself that.

I was scared of labour as well, but when it finally came, the fear was completely gone. Your honestly in your own little world at that time. Don't be scared of getting an epidural if it becomes to much, it helps sooo much! Believe me, the moment you hold your son for the first time, you will instantly forget about all the pain you went through. It's a moment I will always cherish :)

Your water may or may not break on it's own. And it it does, it does not necessarily mean that you will get a huge gush of water. Keep some liners with you just in case. But honestly, don't be scared to go about your life because of that...it's really not that bad.

I'll be honest, it was a huge adjustment for me when my son was born, especially since I had absolutely no experience with babies. The lack of sleep is hard, but it's only temporary. You'll be pleasantly surprised how patient you will be with your new son. Believe me, I am finding the toddler years a lot harder than the newborn years :)

Good luck to you! Don't worry yourself....everything will work out fine!

Answer 5

A lot of women get irrational fears (me included) during pregnancy...especially toward the end of pregnancy. Honestly, labor is difficult, but there is absolutely no reason to worry. Your body is designed to take care of this situation. You just have to trust it! Being isolated because of fear is probably heightening your anxiety. Go out and do something, anything! Trust me, even if your water breaks (which isn't likely) it won't be nearly the embarrassment that your imagination has made it out to be. This is all a very natural process and you CAN handle it! And you can handle the newborn period, too, it sounds like your husband's been there so don't hesitate to accept his help with midnight feedings, etc.

Answer 6

Please do not be so petrified, it will only make you tense and make matters worse. Try and concentrate on the beautiful child you are going to have, think good thoughts. With an epidural I don't think you will feel anything at all. As for going out, take small walks to cure that cabin fever feeling. As for sleep you can nap when the baby naps in the day as well as night. Don't worry I am sure you are capable of being a great mom. Just think of some of the less intelligent people you know that have kids, they managed and so can you! Good luck to you.

Answer 7

Relax, everything will work itself out. It is scary to have a baby for the first time, that much is for sure. But, you will have doctors, nurses, your husband, and anyone else around you there to help you through it! And once your son arrives, you will realize that all the worrying was for nothing! All babies are different, remember that. Just because someone else's baby was up screaming every two hours doesn't mean that yours will! My daughter was a very good baby. She basically only cried when she was hungry. It is the fear of the unknown that is getting to you. You have never been through this before, so it's natural to be scared. Relax and try to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Good luck!

Answer 8

Well trust me I feel the same way. Im scare of EVERYTHING!! Im super super tiny (4'11) so you can imagine how scared I am. Whats even worse is that Im only 18 weeks so I think about it all the time. I get super scared of labor and my stomach getting HUGE and me not able to handle the newborn. I think what if something bad hapens at night to him and I dont wake up and hear it, or if i drop him, or I DUNNO i think of everything!! But from what ive been told "it comes naturally". I hate to think that one day ill be giving birth because its going to be scary but I guess everyone HAS TO DO IT when there pregnant! Dont worry, that doesnt mean you dont love your son or anything. I guess were all scared =(
Good luck and god bless =)

Answer 9

I think we all go a little crazy wondering those things. You just have to trust that it will all work out. I had to keep reminding myself that babies have been born every day since the beginning of time. It also helped that people kept telling me they have never known anyone whose water broke in public (I'm sure it happens, I just don't know anyone it happened to).
It's very easy to work yourself up thinking about all of it. I know it's not easy, but try to relax, these things do just tend to work themselves out.
One more thing, even though your already 2cm, you still might not go into labor until 40+weeks, so don't get upset if a week comes and goes and the baby's not here yet.
Enjoy it while you can, it all goes way to quickly!

Answer 10

It's totally normal to feel this way, first of all.
However, I think society has done a good job of scaring the absolute crap out of women when it comes to childbirth (think of all those movies where women scream their heads off...have you ever actually heard that in a hospital?)
I'll tell you a secret: you can do it. And in the end, you'll say "It wasn't that bad."
Being scared will only hurt you, and I'll tell you why: you know "fight or flight"? Well, when your body is afraid, it shifts blood to muscles needed to 'fight or flight'. The uterus is not one of those muscles. So, by being afraid, you may actually be making it worse!
Just trust that when you give birth, no one can plan what will happen, so just be calm, feel strong, and you'll be fine!!!

Same deal with newborns. Just remember, you'll LOVE it, it will not be as hard as it seems.