Daughter doesn't want to drink milk from anything but Mom?

Question

Yup, another day another mommy saga! I posted yesterday about how my daughter drastically reduced her milk intake (she's nine months). She went from drinking 30 oz of breastmilk at the sitter to 10 oz. She did eat her solid meals however. Yesterday, it got even worse. She refused to drink altogether - regardless of what was used - her favorite bottle, another type of bottle, tippy cup. And when I say refused, I mean "fight" kicking and screaming. The sitter looked exhausted when I picked her up yesterday. However, when I nursed her, she gobbled up milk as she normally did. Today she refused her morning bottle feed from my husband and he had to stay home from work because he didn't want to subject the sitter to tantrums again. I am thinking that this is a behavioural issue and we don't know what to do. It's like bottle rejection all over again, only now it's at 9 months. She still needs to drink milk and not be totally on solids.

I can't nurse her during the day because I work, so she has to take the milk via other means. Now that she's nine months, fights are much more prolonged and she's willful like her mom so she wants what she wants. I'm thinking it's either teeth or a behaviour problem. I just don't know what, and this is my first. It seems like just when you and the baby have a groove going, there's a new thing. She HAS to drink or she'll be dehydrated.

First answerer: Practice reading comprehension. Seriously.

Thanks for all of the answers. The doctor also suspects that it is a form of separation anxiety and she associates mom's milk with mom.

Answer 1

This is a question for your pediatrician. Although some people on Yahoo may give you answers based on personal or observed experience, you need a professional answer by the professional who knows your baby's history.

Answer 2

My suggestion, is for your sitter to offer her the milk in her bottle or cup 1 time and then go about her business. Same at home. Leave the cup or bottle availabe and if she gets thirsty, she will eventually reach for it. The battles you are fighting are only reinforcing the behavior because she is getting attention. She could be teething, but can affect her desire to eat in general, not necessarily what she will drink from. She may also be starting to assert her independence by telling you when and with what whe will drink. As hard as it is, ignore the tantrums, as they will continue to get worse. Another option is to give her a choice, put some milk in a bottle and a tippy cup and ask her which one she wants. Again if she refuses, do not make a big deal about it. She shouldn't dehydrate if she refuses for a day or two as long as she is still nursing. See if ignoring the behavior changes her behavior. Remember, like a fall, if you make a big deal about it, they will.

Answer 3

This sounds like a classic case of Reverse Cycling. Your pediatrician isn't entirely wrong, because it is sort of a way that children deal with separation anxiety. I put a few links below about reverse cycling for you. It isn't harmful at all to her, and you (or the sitter, rather) really can't force a bottle on her. If she won't eat, leave her alone. She'll make up for it when she sees you!

One of the problems with reverse cycling is that babies who do this usually nurse many times throughout the night. It can lead to a sleep-deprived mother at times! But you can help offset this problem by co-sleeping with your baby and by nursing as much as possible from the time you pick your baby up from the sitter until bedtime, so that she can get as much in before going to bed as possible.

Try not to stress out about it too much. She'll be fine. I think it's fantastic that you're still breastfeeding your child! Good luck!

Answer 4

She doesnt NEED to drink milk while with the sitter. She is old enough now that she can get a whole days worth of feedings while you are at home.

Is she sleeping through the night? If she is... i know this sounds funny... you may want to encourage her to nurse more at night. She can get an adequate amount of milk by nursing before and after work and over night.

Does she drink water from a sippy? Have the sitter give her that and solids and just nurse her more when you get home. At 9 months, she is extremely effcient and can probably empty your breast in a matter of minutes... your body will adjust to not making milk durring the day and making ALOT in the evening/over night.

Its called reverse cycling (nursing overnight and not durring the day). Alot of babies do it naturally at her age... even if theyre with mom all day.

Answer 5

Eating issues top the list of parent concerns. It is rare to have a baby or toddler who will not eat or drink when and what she needs. Your daughter is on track for a normal decrease in milk consumption as her solid consumption increases. As parents and care givers, our job is to offer healthy choices to the children we love and care for. It is the child's job to eat or drink what and how much she wants. At meals and snacks, continue to offer her milk in a sippy cup and a bottle. However, if she refuses it, simply put it away and try again another time. She will not get dehydrated as long as she continues to eat her solids which contain a certain amount of fluids as well. Give your sitter permission to offer the bottle/sippy cup, but not to worry if she doesn't drink anything. No need for her to fight with your daughter to drink what she obviously doesn't want. The thing about battles is they quickly become a full-blown war. Food battles may begin as issues with food but quickly escalate to a control issue. This current behavior with your daughter may simply be a try at independence or it may just be that she doesn't require any additonal milk than what she nurses from you. Try making drinking milk a non-issue for a few days and she'll likely begin drinking again when she wants to. There is nothing wrong with giving her some water in her sippy cup or bottle. If her cereal is made with breast milk she is consuming some at breakfast. You can buy yogurt made for babies and she may enjoy a container at lunch or snack. If any of her solids need a little thinning, use breast milk instead of water to sneak in a little extra in her diet.

Answer 6

When my older daughter was 3yrs she stopped eating most foods. All she would eat was cakes.
My father came for a holiday. "Ah ha," I thought, "Dad is a doctor and he has worked with children a lot. He'll know what to do."
My Dad listened, went out, bought back a cake mixer and some packets of cake mix.
He explained ALL children, at some point in their lives, will have strange food fads, or will not eat, or eat too much; anything to make life perplexing for the caring parents.
SOLUTION - PATIENCE - it will pass.
Be grateful your child is NOT one of the starving masses, my father had to be with when he was a young doctor in Africa.
PLEASE do NOT WORRY
This is NOT a battle. Neither of you has to win.
Just LOVE your little one. Go to a doctor if you are really worried and remember - Look after YOUR-SELF -this is the greatest gift you can give your little one.
Oh my elder daughter is now 40yrs old and has gone through many food worries with her now teenage children.

One quick true little story. A little girl down the street, was found eating fresh tar from the drive-way. When rushed to hospital, doctors found she was VERY anaemic and needed iron very badly. Some-how her system knew this and she ate the tar, which while not good for her did have the iron her body needed. There are many stories like this.
Children's bodies usually know what they NEED at that SPECIFIC time.
Good Luck and take CARE of YOUR-SELF.

Answer 7

When in dought go to www.kellymom.com they have all the answers lol It's called reverse cycleing, babies only want to eat from mommy so they don't eat when she isn't around and make up for it when mommy is there for them. It's a normal thing and can happen at any time while breast feeding. That site will have more on it. good luck, don't worry a few hours of not drinking anything will not dehydrate them :)

Answer 8

I think you seem to realize that babies do strange things. This could just be a bottle strike, much like a nursing strike. It could be teething (they do ALL sorts of crazy things when teething). It could be that this is peak separation anxiety time and this is her way of saying "I want mom, not this fake nipple!" Either way, she will get through it in time. Like all those other things us moms have to go through, it is just a phase! Best of luck!

Answer 9

Human breastmilk is the best, most nourishing food for your child. Cows milk is for cows. Some countries breastfeed their children through their first year.