I have a friend who I have known awhile now but recently his 'quirks' have been irritating everyone and he has just been left alone.. When I think about it I feel really guilty, but like most people we can't cope.
Thing is, he is a constant liar and attention seeker but it doesn't seem to be for negative reasons. IMO He is just looking for acceptance and feels the need to be accepted by everyone. He will often change his 'face' to fit in, if this means acting tough, or changing his taste in films. I understand everyone changes around different people due to wanting to be liked but his change is so evident and everyone can see it. Some of his outlooks on appeasing people and so on are just wrong and its just annyoing..
Nobody wishes to talk to him about it and most people generally dislike him now. He's smarmy and five-faced and.. I dont know.. I think he genuinely just wants to be liked.. Should someone speak to him?
What are peoples opinions?
2007-03-23 03:33:35 · 5 answers · asked by Deus Ex Machina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It sounds like you might have the clearest insight into this guy's motives. Perhaps you should be the one to talk to him. You may have to be blunt and just tell him that his lying and actions annoy everyone else. Either he will listen and accept it or he won't. It sounds like you care, so give it a shot. You're only trying to help him. Good luck.
2007-03-23 03:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound genuinely worried so, if he is a real friend, why don't you talk to him?? If the roles were inverted wouldn't you like to be told? Coz I would. If you keep saying "Someone should talk to him" nobody will do it. Be brave, take the step and talk to him, but be gentle and sensitive. Don't have a go at him like a raging bull!! Talk to him in terms of "I love you but...." If he gets annoyed and doesn't call you anymore, he was not a friend worthy of having. If he doesn't, listen to what he has to say. Maybe he doesn't notice his actions.
People like this generally want to be heard. They feel insecure and insignificant amongst other people. Talk to him, maybe that is what he needs....a true friend
Best of luck to you both
2007-03-23 10:42:52 · answer #2 · answered by jamidami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who does the exact same thing and the more she tries to have friends the more people run from her. they see her as being snotty, and trying to be better than them, when in reality she has such low self esteem that she tries WAY TOO hard to over compensate, thinking that she is so inferior to people so she has to boast a little in order to feel even close to their level. I know the roots of her issues tho, do you know your friends? is their some family / childhood issue? If you are a close enough friend maybe you can suggest counseling. I bet he knows what the issue is but it is difficult to overcome alone. If you really are a good friend try to help him. Good luck!
2007-03-23 10:41:58 · answer #3 · answered by just me #1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, speak to him. He may not even be aware of how transparent he is.
2007-03-23 10:37:19 · answer #4 · answered by Lauren J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you talking about a friend or yourself? anyway just tell your "friend" to just relax and be himself.
2007-03-23 10:37:54 · answer #5 · answered by va757 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋