things have be rocky for awhile now with me and my husband we have been going to counsling and things just dont seem to be getting any bettter. well, then last night we wee agruing and he said that he didnt love me anymore and i said well u must because u r still wearing your ring, and when i said that he took off his ring and dropped i on the floor, i ended up picking it up. afterthat he put on his old class ring and said this is the onlyring i am going to wear from nw on. why would he do that? coul it really bo over. need advice and opinions please. o'yah also i am 3 days late, might be pg again, and r youngest in only 3 months old. when i told him that i might be he told me that he will pay for an obortion, and that if i am i am going to have to raise r son and the new baby all by my-self. very scared right now, what should i do?
2007-03-23 03:07:53 · 27 answers · asked by greengrass 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
also, abortion is not an aption because i do not beleave in them!!!!
2007-03-23 03:08:41 · update #1
First of all.... Dont listen to him about paying all by yourself. THE LAWS WONT ALLOW THAT. If he refuses the state will automatically deduct child support from his checks. Im sorry sweets, but I think you should play the cold shoulder to him. Stop talking to him, stop all communication and leave him alone. Dont even speak to him at all, and make him move out! Seriously.... It seems like he really has you coming and going on this, and you need to step back and see this from a different point of view. Find a babysitter and go out on the town with friends... have a good time. Remember the girl you use to be before him and bring her back! Him leaving is NOT the end of the world, and you deserve better. Something else is going on here with him... and you know it. You need to move on and let him go. Fate has a different plan for you, and you will be much happier. Good luck
2007-03-23 03:13:58 · answer #1 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, unfortunately, it seems the relationship needs a lot of work to get it back; but right now the children are priority. Since you asked my opinion I will state it (althought it may conflict). Rasing a child under such circumstance is, I feel, more of a sin than abortion. Abortion is legal for ration reasons. Very smart people decided on it because of the facts of science. If you abort it within the next weeks, biological, it is on par with the eggs that are destroyed from your menstral period. It is not life yet. Why add the pressure to things? Your most important priority is the child you do have. If you are pregnant, get he abortion and then rid your life of your man. Every effort you put into him and this potential baby takes away from your 3-month old -that is wrong. Get your life straighten out for your existing kid. That child sure not have to suffer for your relationship mistakes. Embryos don't even have brain/nerves growth until 6 months. That's why the Supreme court decided third term abortions are out. Embyos are essentially cells like everything else in your body. If you feel your wisdom excede the members of the Supreme court and science than may God have mercy on your soul. Your selfish reasons for keeping the child only takes away from the one you already have. God rather have you take care of the live one than the potential one. Don't stratch beyond your means here. Good luck. If you wanna talk about it email me.
2007-03-23 10:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abortion is not the answer with whats going on with you. I don't understand why everytime theres a problem on a relationship,people will say" let's go see a councilor". Maybe it's good to others but,councilor is paid to hear and say something to a couple that's having a problem,but reality is they get paid to listen.
Now your husband took off his ring,only two thing that his trying to tell you, 1 is he doesn't want to be married anymore, 2nd is he found someone else that keep his time more occupied. What you must do is think about yourself,your baby,and the innocent baby that's growing inside of you. Don't be afraid to loose him, your life will be better off without him. Why not go to your family and see if they can help you,or they can't the welfare system can help you because of your children. Change your life now before its to late and before he become abusive....
2007-03-23 11:05:15 · answer #3 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, I am so sorry.
I think you already know the answer, he has told you that he doesn't love you, he took off his wedding ring, and wants you to have an abortion. Seems pretty clear to me.
You shouldn't be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, it isn't healthy for you or your child. I know you're scared, but you need to be strong now because your baby needs you. Maybe you should go to counselling on your own, just to work through your emotions which I am sure are plentiful.
You will get through this and you will a better mother because of it.
Good Luck and I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-03-23 10:17:31 · answer #4 · answered by ninamcguinness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to do more searching other than here on this message board.
One thing I would try to stop doing is bringing up divorce, it only gets one to start thinking about it more. Second, Go to the website WWW.Marriagetoday.org Encourage your husband and yourself to take a break from you're differences thus allowing you to check out this site. It is for every marriage. Once you have watched it and hopefully found some commonalities with your situation. Tell your husband that you would like him to check this site out and let him know you have been reading it too. Tell him you want to work things out and are willing to do what it takes to make it work. Be willing to be patient. Hopefully you two can work things out and start over. My wife and I have a great relationship but we still participate in the marriage today because it is so insightful. Good luck and hang in there.
2007-03-23 10:22:28 · answer #5 · answered by safetyusa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband are experiencing a lot of conflict between the both of you and this has escalated to verbal insults. He took off the ring as a challenge against your comment about him still loving you. One of you is gonna have to "call a meeting to order" so that the verbal attacks stop, or it can really start to get worse. You need to think if what you both have been disagreeing on is worth you losing your marriage over. Your husband already sounds at the point of no return. Talk to him with out attacking him. Do this by committing yourself on saving your marriage. Let him know you love him and miss the way things used to be. If he responds with more insults, do not respond back with more insults, just leave and get busy doing something else. He will start to look pretty silly arguing with himself. Continue to be loving and avoid getting into more conflict with him. Sooner or later he will have to come your way. Best of luck to the both of you!.
2007-03-23 10:20:13 · answer #6 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
With the ring thing, you pretty much pushed him into that one. If my husband would have said "well you are still wearing your ring" I would have probably thrown it at him. sometimes people say things that and it just makes matters worse then good. My husband and I have said we hated each other in the middle of arguments but we never said we didn't love each other. This could be the end if counseling isn't working. He said to get an abortion... OMG!!! But three days late is no biggie, it could be just your emotions. You are in a tough spot, I feel for you!
2007-03-23 10:20:36 · answer #7 · answered by dakota_gal_1968 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG! I will pray for you. It really sounds like its over. And I know its hard to get over, and to forget about it. I dont think theres anyway to work this one out. Do you have a job? I hope so because your gonna have to turn into a super mom with working and haveing to take care of your child. Dont let him/her see you cry or struggle either. Be a good role model. Pick up your self off that floor and really make a good life for your kid and possible soon to be born baby. Leave the man you so call husband who says he dont love you no more behind. Make him eat your dust! Oh yeah Make him pay for child support for both kids!!!!!!! Rack is behind. Trust me it will help you sleep at night since he told you he wanted you to abort your kid. Make him pay! Maybe your not that kind of person. But I hope maybe this helped you! If you just want to talk about it you can e-mail me! And just vent or get advice if you want! GOOD LUCK!
p.s. you deserve better!
2007-03-23 10:24:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is normal to be sacred, when u know that the life u know now may be ending, and the future unknown. but never let him talk to into an abortion, if he took off his ring, and threw it on the floor sounds as if he is fed up with the marriage , he could be cheating too. just stand your ground, he has to pay u child support no matter what he does. how convenient of him to agree to pay for an abortion, just to get him out of having to pay the child support. don't fall for it. if he wants to leave let him, nothing u can do about that.
2007-03-23 13:22:03 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for the trouble you're going through with your marriage, but I am so glad that you're not letting him talk you into having an abortion. :)
I think you two have a lot of issues that need to be worked out, through communication and possibly even couseling. It can be done, if both of you are willing to see how things go. Don't give up just yet, cause it's not over yet. Your marriage can be saved, if both of you are willing to fight for it.
Best of luck!
2007-03-23 17:02:39 · answer #10 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋