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My three year old is very close to grandfather who has been sick for a long time. Recently things have taken a turn for the worse. Should I bring her to say goodbye?

2007-03-23 02:53:24 · 13 answers · asked by manda 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting Adolescent

13 answers

First, I am sorry for what you all must be going through; this is a difficult time for all.

If they are that close, speak with her and see if she wants to go. Do speak with her about what is happening so she knows what to expect. Kids will surprise you with their resolve and toughness. I had this same situation with my mother (their grandmother) and then my grandfather (their great-grandfather). My eldest was 6 and 8 and my second was 1 and 3. My children both appreciated being able to say good bye even if the ones they were speaking to could not talk back to them.

Here is a link on how to speak to a preschooler on death:
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/refcap/preschooler/praising/65688.html

2007-03-23 03:08:34 · answer #1 · answered by g-lady 3 · 0 0

When my paw-paw was dying, my sisters brought their kids. My paw-paw loved them. They were ranging in age from about 20 months to 5 years old. But that is what my paw-paw wanted. So, I would take the 3 year old and even make pictures so she can remember the grandfather. You will be happy you did in the end. We always explained to the babies that Paw-Paw was not going to be hurting and that he would probably be in heaven as an angel watching over them and all of us to keep us safe. So, you might try that kind of comfort. Just wanted to offer my opinion and tell about my experience. Hope it helped at least a little bit.

2007-03-23 10:23:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

I really loved my grand mother and I enjoy my memories of her. I also remember her funeral. I think that spending time together is good for the child and the grandfather. This will also give you child an introduction to the idea of death and how it does not have to be a scary thing.

2007-03-23 11:06:36 · answer #3 · answered by ERIC W 3 · 1 0

Yes, definitely, this is importan, even if you think she/he is to little, but yes, this gives them the chance to tell theiselves things, they might want to say, specially the grandfather, when he still can... and your 3 year old will be able to understand, that when he has gone to the angels or what you tell her, that she/he will not see him again but said bye..and wil remember.

2007-03-23 10:01:09 · answer #4 · answered by Julia E 3 · 1 0

Yes, he needs to see his grandfather he loves him and his grandfather loves him! If he is uncomfortable with seeing his grandfather like this just have him say bye bye and leave.

2007-03-23 10:17:46 · answer #5 · answered by Emily Answers 5 · 1 0

Yes, Goodbye will help them both!Everybody needs to say their goodbye especially to the ones they love!Good luck and you guys are in my prayers.I know it has to be a tough decision to make!

2007-03-23 09:58:37 · answer #6 · answered by lisababyg ♥ 5 · 1 0

Are you meaning to a funeral or to his home to say good bye?
If to his home then yes but to a funeral home i wouldn't.

I took my 5 year old son (After explaining death to him and why great-papa died) when we got to the funeral home and went up to the caket my son was poking at his shoulder saying "Wake up papa" and i didn't know what to do except walk away with him.
I tried to explain it again and i wanted to see my papa one last time so we walked up there again and my son blurted out "Papa is dead" so i will not take my son to another funeral until he better understands.

2007-03-23 10:07:40 · answer #7 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 1 0

I think it would be fine, just explain to her that her grandfather is going to be leaving you all and that he will be in heaven with Jesus and that someday she will see him again. I would keep it simple and short.

2007-03-23 10:56:00 · answer #8 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 1 0

Your heart is in the right place, but I think she's too young to understand.

On the other hand, it may mean the world to Grandpa.

Go with your heart.

2007-03-23 13:44:54 · answer #9 · answered by Icewomanblockstheshot 6 · 0 0

Absolutely. He may not understand entirely but in years to come hes gonna want to have been there.

2007-03-23 10:00:30 · answer #10 · answered by Danny B 3 · 1 0

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