my friend committed suicide today..?

Question

i cant believe she's no more... we used to be best friends when we were kids.. i havent spoken to her these past couple of years .. i feel guilty because i keep thinking that i could have done something more.. there was this other girl who used to be friends with us... i thought she was a nice girl until now.. but then i saw her laughing and to top it all she kept blaming my friend for taking her life.. i know it was a bad decision but the way she said it hurt me..is this what friendship comes to?? have fun while you can and when something happens get on with ur life?? and here i am feeling guilty for eating.. i am still not over the shock and i dont know what to do..

Answer 1

I am so sorry for your grief...I have been there. It has been over 30 years ago and I still feel the pain and anger of losing someone to suicide. The thing to REALLY understand is that you couldn't have stopped this, probably couldn't have known what she had planned...This may sound cruel, but suicide is the most selfish and devastating thing a person could do. I also know the pain of depression, but there are always alternatives. Suicide leaves a lifelong path of pain and anger for those left behind. Just know you are in no way responsible and it is normal to feel what you are feeling. If you have access to a good therapist.....go see them. They will be more eloquent than I am on this. Hang in there.

Answer 2

I am sorry to for you loss. You have to know that you have no control over whether or not a person takes their life. It is a decision that they have made. It is a selfish decision.
You other Friend the one who was laughing is a horrible person and you would be best suited to cut yourself out of her life forever.

As we grow up and as we move through life we change friends, it is very natural, somebody who at some point may have been your best friend is now a casual acquaintance. Please don't blame yourself, for you friend taking her life. It is not your fault, and there is nothing you could have done.

Other people's happiness is not your responsibility, sure it is nice if we can put a smile on another face. However we cannot be fully responsible fro another well being it is too much.

Do not blame yourself. Do not fell guilty for eating and wanting to do the things you do in a day. You need to mourn of course, but keep in mind it is not your fault.

Please seek some grief counseling, suicide is one of those situations that is hard to mourn, and hard to deal with. There are a whole host of emotions which you are facing now that are not a part of the normal mourning process.

Good luck

Answer 3

I had a friend commit suicide,
first of all dont blame yourself saying you could have been a better friend or all the lines running in your head. Ive been there I know them all. Its going to be tough for a while, suicide is not easy to cope with. If you need someone to talk to you can email me always. The best way to handle it is not to ignore it but have some friends with you for a while, the funeral is going to be really hard and you might stay in shock for a couple weeks but it will get better hun. Know this too people can blame all they want on the kids but it was the person who committed suicides choice, It wasnt like they really killed her/him.Be there for your friends too, they might even act like its not bothering them that they are saying it but it does. Again I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. The people who commit suicide dont ever understand how many other people they effect when they do it. Its very selfish, they might not even care they might not just wanna deal with life but there are so many other people involved and it hurts so bad..but email me ANYTIME. Its almost been a year and I still get emotional when they mention her name but Its gotten better. I hope your alright....

Answer 4

Everyone handles death differently. Sometimes a laugh is a nervous laugh and not meant to be rude. Some people find it easy to put the blame of death on something or someone.
Your friend made the decision to take her life. Don't blame yourself. Mourn her death for she deserves your love and friendship, but use her death to jump start you to live life in a different way. Cherish each moment and your friends and family. Pick up the phone and give someone a call if you think about them. Send an email just because. I wish you the best!

Answer 5

there was nothing that you could do. obviously your friend was going through something very big in order to take her own life. Its not your fault. You probably wont ever get over the shock of loosing someone who was once close to you. The only thing you can do is pray that now she has found peace in her after life. You are a good friend for caring so much about her. The other girl who is laughing and carring on the way she is is no true friend. I think she is a very sad and immature person for acting the way she's acting. I've very sorry to hear about your friend. I hope that she is at peace now and that you can one day be at peace in knowing that you had no control over what happend to your friend.

Answer 6

I am sorry for your loss. It sounds as though this other girl does not know how to handle tragedy and grief. Some people handle death or tragedy differently. I can't defend or not defend her actions, because I did not see how she responded, but if she is the type of person that has this type of attitude about these things you may want to rethink your friendship with her.

You should not feel guilty for your friend taking her life, alot of people don't show signs or thoughts or suicide and so others don't know what they are planning or thinking. Friendships change and you could not have prevented your friend from doing this.

Answer 7

well understand that your reaction to this matter is normal. the girl who laughs not abnormal but certainly not what one would expect. what can you do . you can do what you are doing now remember her. pray for her and her family.
a big thing is that sometimes when one young person kills themself others sometimes follow they may have no previous relation to one another but the idea is more prominent at that time so thats what happens. dont you be one of the cluster.
you are wise enough to know that a person no person kills themself without having what they think is no reason to live and good reason to die such thinking is more often then not not rationail sound thinking . view this sucide as more a matter of extremme desperation and illness.
i suggest that you attempt to learn what the funeral arrangements are if it is a private funeral as they often are the funeral home will let you know if a donation can be made in the persons name to a charity ., or if flowers or cards are being accepted. depending on how well you knew this girl you may wish to attend the funeral if it is public . later not know but after the funeral you may want to write the family a letter just letting them know you remember this girl as a good friend and that your so sorry this happened. leave your phone number and mailing address if your comfortable with that as they may just want to call you to see if you have any idea why she would do such a thing and you dont so you could explain that in the letter but still leave your contact info.
certainly dont laugh treat this matter as though the child died from any other illness or accident and never judge them .
understand that emontions are running high now at the school avoid confrontation about this matter no matter what .
instead if asked say your very sad to hear about this matter and that you knew her in the past and that you certainly hope no one else ever does dies in this manner. tell each person that speaks to you about this that if ever they need someone to talk to because they are thinking about sucide you would never turn a deaf ear to them or anyone as you understand that both illness and extremme desperation lead to such ends unnessasarly

Answer 8

Hi

I am sorry for you and your friend what a sad tragedy and I know you must be going nuts over this . Please don't feel guilty about what happened .

No, it will take time to heal from this and that other friend of yours I would definitely leave her alone because she is doing more harm than good and right now you need all of the support you can get right now .

I know that it is too late but why didn't she reach out to someone or talk it out . I don't know her but I am sad for her .

Work on mending

C

Answer 9

Oh sweetie, I am so very sorry. There is no way you can stop someone who is bent on taking their own life. You must not allow yourself to carry that kind of guilt. Suicide is indeed one of the most selfish acts a human can commit, but when someone is in that state of mind they are truly not themselves. Your other friend may be dealing with her grief in a different way that might seem hurtful to you. Everyone grieves differently and it is sometimes easier to be angry with the person than to face what made them feel this was the only way to deal with their problems. You must eat, sleep, breathe and live. Your sufferring will not bring back your friend. Honor her by keeping her alive in your heart and living a good life. It is normal to wonder how to deal with such a shocking event in your life. Pray for understanding, solace, and peace for yourself, and pray for her. You don't snap back from a trauma like this right away and it will always affect you in some form or another. If you find that you cannot get past these feelings of guilt and confusion, please seek professional counseling. Life is short, and we all die eventually but no one tells us how to deal with it until after it happens. Give it some time before you talk with your friend about her behavior. When my grandfather died suddenly I would laugh at the most bizarre times. Not because I was happy, but because I did not know how to deal with it and was experiencing a dark humor to deal with my grief. Hang in there, and again I am so sorry for your loss.

Answer 10

Your friend's death is not your fault; there's no way, especially if you were no longer close, that you could have even known what she was about to do.
Don't feel guilty about living; she made her choice, now you make yours; turn this tragic event into a positive one by not just learning from it, but by doing something with your life to help others who might be considering the same fate.