My husband cheated first. We have two kids. He lied to me over and over again. He is back and forth with this woman. I tried counciling. He refused. I did all I could to save the marriage. After I found out about him falling in love with the woman on the net while he was in Kuwait...I got tired and decided to cheat too. I confornted him with divorce but he always said he wanted to be married. He used me. He only said that, I feel to keep his military benefits. We agreed his last duty station to seperate. I found out later she moved in housing. I told on him b/c he was not giving me an allotment for our children. He refused to divorce me until he now feels he got his *** in order. All the while he lying and hurting me knowing my parents and I are taking care of our kids. I went back again and he burned me again. I lost EVERYTHING...including the children's stuff which really hurts. How do I get over this? Oh and he now is harrassing me on the net and chat rooms....
2007-03-23 02:25:47 · 6 answers · asked by new life abundant 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stay away from him, don't talk, email, or chat in the same areas as him. And only time and getting your self right again will help you get over this. He might grow up and realize that he wants a relationship with his kids, but again this will take time.
2007-03-23 02:41:26 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from those places on the net and those chat rooms that he knows about. Find new ones right away because you need emotional support and friends, even cyber-friends.
Now, your physical situation can be figured out in a logical way hopefully with one of your parents that is smart. You are too emotionally upset right now.
I was used. I thought he loved me and he made excuses for not having a phone. He was a cheater and he used me because I was popular in college. I loved him when I thought he was someone else (like you used to love your husband) but he wasn't really ever that person (as your husband isn't now) and I was angry my grades had gone down while I was so in love and wastring my year on HIM!!! Right?? He Wasted Your Time, Right?? So I tried a technique on myself that worked. I screamed myself hoarse into heavy coats in my closet where no one could hear me and I screamed all I wanted to say to the rotten s.o.b. into the coats at the top of my lungs until I was worn out. My anger was then abated each time I did that and I was more able to deal with what was important, and that is where and how you are going to live now with your kids to care for. Let the hate and anger go inside your coat closet and then deal (you'll be hoarse) with the other issues after that.
I know you want to go back to the way it was when you thought you were in love. That is over and may have been just your perception anyway. That is ruined and you two are through. When you are sad, it is the good and loving emotions you remember and miss. You can find those emotions and feel that way again in Another Man when you meet the Right One. Your husband is the WRONG one now. Take your anger out on the coats where no one will hear you and use your head with the help of an intelligent parent or counselor to decide where and how to live.
It is over Honey, and you cannot turn the clock back. Let go of him. And take your anger out on the coat closet. Make him think you don't even want to give him the time of day, because he is such a waste. A lot of women get used by men, but we don't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing how much they hurt us.
You asked "How do I Get Over This?" Let your anger out secretly and trust yourself and another person on your side to figure the practical matters out and how you can come out of this the best way financially. Someday he may come to see his kids and there you will be with a wonderful new husband by your side, while your ex has been through hell and is all alone. That's Karma. I will remember you. Peace and healing are being sent your way.
2007-03-23 14:19:53 · answer #2 · answered by Dovey 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay off the net and chat rooms. Find something to do that gives you joy in your life. Forget about divorce right now. Get going with your life and the lives of your children. Find out who YOU are and what YOU want out of life. Stop preoccupying yourself with what he's doing. Things are hard...so what..make them better for yourself by yourself.
Get to a therapist to sort out your feelings. Start remembering the person you wanted to be before you met him. Continue on your journey and be thankful its over now instead of living life the way you were before. Go ahead and cry about it..feel sad...then get up and get moving. Getting over it is a choice first..then an action. Get in action mode!
2007-03-23 09:41:14 · answer #3 · answered by Steph 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, that sucks! What a bastard! Can't you file for divorce.. screw him.. you don't need him. I would have done what you did by getting with someone else.. But, you should wait... cuz it's adultery..
Change your email name and all that......
2007-03-23 09:38:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce him and take him to the cleaners. take all the money you can from him. that is a great way of getting him back
2007-03-23 10:13:15 · answer #5 · answered by bone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can file the papers. forget him. take care of your kids and direct your attention to them - they need one of you to be there for them through all this - what a punk.
2007-03-23 10:02:20 · answer #6 · answered by Virgo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋