Is it better to share unfiltered emotions or internalize your feelings first?

Question

The easy answer is that there needs to be a balance, but let's say you have to choose to be one way or the other.

If you share unfiltered emotions - you risk having people believe you are uncaring blunt or inconsiderate of others feelings

If you internalize your feelings - you risk being thought emotionally stunted or shut off.

And for a bonus...would you not be able to deal with someone who was the opposite of the choice you pick?

Answer 1

Everyone filters what they say to some extent unless you are in the heat of the moment and let anger completely get the best of you. I don't think I even believe in unfiltered communication. I do believe in degrees of filtration, that each person will put in place the appropriate level of filtration for the person that they are communicating with, based on their history with that person and how well they know them.

It's also my opinion that each person has their own comfort level of just how blunt they can be and if they can deal with the repercussions of being honest and to the point with the person they are speaking with, knowing that the message they are sending is going to have a reaction...good or bad. You only filter information that is going to have some kind of an impact. You don't have to filter a discussion on the weather.

As for internalizing feelings first, I don't think that does anything but dilute the emotions and make you second guess yourself and what you are feeling to the point that it has become moot. How long is too long to internalize something before you can let it out? Long enough so you can present it so there will be no reaction to it? Personally, I feel if you need to internalize something for a long period of time, chew on it to see if it's valid, or sanitize it so there is very little chance that it may provoke a reaction - it's done out of fear.

As for being percieved as inconsiderate or uncaring by being forthright in expressing yourself, I think those opinions would be given by people who don't have a close personal connection to eachother....so who cares about that?

For my own persoanl preference in the 'bonus round' here, I prefer someone who has the ability to be as honest and open with me as I am with them. I can't think of anything worse than having a long discussion and having to go back and say to myself...what the hell did they really mean? Crap...I must have forgotten my Secret Squirrel decoder ring!!

Answer 2

That is a great question! And I have to agree on what you are saying. Sometimes you just want someone to know exactly what you are feeling at that moment but then again it can come back and bite you in the butt so I guess the best thing to do is take a time out and reflect on those feelings and then express them in a meaningful way so that that person will not feel "attacked". Does that make sense? :) I hope you're having a great Friday!!

Answer 3

Acting on pure emotion is what animals do. Filtering emotions through intellect is one of the things that makes us human. I hope everyone would filter before saying or doing anything, as that is the true path to peace and understanding.

Answer 4

it is best not to have feelings, just act the impulse out. nevertheless such is not the way of this world, but of the next one. Yet, the tide is already high.