When I say first, I mean the first person he did the do with. I know they have NOTHING going on, but it still makes me feel weird to think she took his virginity and she saw him naked! I just need other ladies thoughts.
2007-03-23 02:19:08 · 23 answers · asked by newsgal03 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just as a side note to those who answered, I'm far from insecure and the girl happens to be his best friend's wife so that's how I'm around her and no he's NEVER met any of my old flings.
2007-03-23 02:58:11 · update #1
Of course!!! You are human! But, in the end you'll wrap your around it 'cause you're the one he's marring. Remember, that's his past, history, his first and nothing else. Just because she was his first, doesn't mean it was great! Otherwise he would still be with her. Plus, why "on occasion" would you have to be around her? I wouldn't feel uncomfortable. I'd be flauncing around with pride that I'm his fiance. Don't give her that pleasure of insecurity. She's the one that should feel on edge. And how old were they? I'm pretty sure it was in their teens or early, early, twenties. He was just learning and exploring things about himself. Now he's the perfect man he needs to be, just for you. So, thank her for being just his guinea pig, his test dumby, his rat in a science lab, and nothing else.
2007-03-23 02:37:25 · answer #1 · answered by ninagrant50 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For the record, I'm a guy but I had to take a swing at this one. I think that it's funny how so many women make comments like, "you should be worried about right now instead of being concerned with my past" yet when the shoe is on the other foot there is a problem. I say, if he is marrying you then you have nothing to worry about and you shouldn't even think about it. I'm sure that he has seen or met one of you ex's so stop tripping.
2007-03-23 02:24:35 · answer #2 · answered by Vince R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The actual reason you have a problem is with you. (No offense). Your guy is with YOU..you can't change things he did before you..everybody has a past- but that has nothing to do with now. I am married and my husband was married before once. He also had 2 kids with her. I like to think I've grown up because I encouraged my husband to speak with his ex often for the kids best interest..
You have to be mature enough to know that your guy wants to be with you - you have nothing to worry about. Obviously you have some qualities that he likes. You should, in no way, be intimidated by who has seen him naked! Your feelings probably stem from your own self-esteem problem - not him.
2007-03-23 02:35:06 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, it would drive me nuts. People usually say it's "jealousy" or "insecurity" that would make you feel uncomfortable about it. But I think it's normal! I am not insecure, yet I wouldn't want to be around my fiance's first. I don't even like thinking about him having sex with the girls he was with before me. I think it's natural to feel weird about being around her.
But the best idea is just to act like it doesn't bother you AT ALL when you're around her. Girls can be b*****s, she might get pleasure or satisfaction out of making you uncomfortable.
Good luck!
2007-03-23 02:30:35 · answer #4 · answered by Niki from Indiana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She was his first so what. You should appreciate that you didn't have to deal with that awkwardness. he is in a relationship with you now. Let the past be the past and enjoy the now. If you have to see her be polite smile it will get better as you are around he more often. if there is something else there that you are not talking about discuss it with your fiance before the wedding like right now. Look forward to a bright future together.
2007-03-23 02:28:48 · answer #5 · answered by MARGARET O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work hard within yourself to find the security to just laugh it off. There are going to be ex's of his that you can't get along with -- but that should be for personality reasons, not for shades of jealousy/possessiveness.
You had a first, he had a first, that's all over and done with. Build something better, because first isn't forever -- as he is obviously proving.
2007-03-23 02:23:34 · answer #6 · answered by Jarien 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nope. I sincerely doubt I will ever meet his "first". He is a musician and has had many and many at one time. Besides, I am not so insecure about myself, that I can't trust him. He knows who he comes home to every day after work. Sounds to me like you might need to find someone who is still a virgin so YOU can be the first and not feel weird about it.
2007-03-23 06:58:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know what you mean when you say this. But, I mean, you knew he wasn't a virgin when you got with him, so someone must have taken it. As long as nothing is going on now and you know this for sure then don't worry about it. I am sure she won't interfere if she know's he is happy. Just don't focus on that part about them, focus on developing a friendship with her or something.
2007-03-23 02:32:03 · answer #8 · answered by Torey♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might feel a little uncomfortable, but you shouldn't, just try to relax. If he is with you, and cares about you, then it shouldn't matter who's in your company. Feel confident about your relationship with him. Because if you plan on being with him for a while there will be plenty of chances for you to practice being comfortable.
2007-03-23 02:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by asweetreat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say No, I wouldnt feel uncomfortable. I wasnt a virgin either when I met my husband. Plus he is mine now, so it really doesnt matter who had him first cuz I have him last.
2007-03-23 02:25:10 · answer #10 · answered by dakota_gal_1968 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋