i am a filipina and might get married to a saudi guy...but i have this fear, how will the marriage be considering how they treat women there and the difference in culture? will the marriage be a lasting one?
2007-03-23 02:11:42 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i grew up with them all my life and while i think you cant judge a person from where he is from-I will tell you to be very carefule and think long and hard about it-He comes from a totally different way of life where women no matter what nationality are treated like second class citizens-I hope for your sake he isnt one of those but really get to know both him and his family they play a major part in his life - before you get married
2007-03-23 02:19:32 · answer #1 · answered by baseballlover 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, to talk about lasting marriage, it depends on the couple and how they're communicating, does he listen to you, respect you, treat you well?? it's between you too.
My uncle work there and from what i understood, women have to wear a veil and aren't supposed to go out on there own much.. so u'll be waiting for him to come back from work to go out. check this: http://www.daralhekma.edu.sa/ABOUT/LifeinSA.asp
There is difference in culture, you just have to talk to him about the traditions there, and tell him that you have traditions you're not willing to give up on. You respect his qualities and he has to respect yours.
You can't restrict the bad way some men treat their wives on saudi men, that goes back to the way the man has been brought up... Every country has good men who respect women, and men who has no morals and no respect to themselve so they go beat women up....
My mother's cousin married a saudi man, she said she had the most wonderful time with him, he provided her everything she wanted, and everything she could have ever dreamt of.
And there's another woman who married someone from there and divorced him after a while because he abused her.
Ask your husband-to-be about how your life will be, don't feel shy about asking him. Also, i've heard some saudi people marry more than one woman. Does he have the intention to do so, or he believes in monogamy!!!
Good luck
2007-03-23 02:25:34 · answer #2 · answered by ♫ Chloe ♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok - I'm going to answer frankly and without any Crap..
Firstly, considering "how they treat woman" ?? Baby girl, you've been watching TOO much news and buying everything you hear... it made me giggle!
By Saudi I assume you mean he's muslim. Ah.. well.. among us muslims there are the extremists who I will admit do Islam a HUGE disservice by spewing what they do and doing what they do, but there are two sides of the coin and if you are interested, because there are extremists in EVERY faith, no matter what they tell you. So take time to get to know exactly what he believes so you know what you'd be getting yourself into - only then can you decide if you should or not get into "it" at all.
If he IS muslim, you must know a few things; In Islam, a woman who is not muslim may marry a muslim man. A man who is not muslim, however, may not be joined to this jewel of Islam... I know, lots of people sighing and thinking "shame" - but those are the facts. No lies.
Islamically speaking, anything she has financially, she keeps, whereas he has to pay all the bills. Ideally she is not forced to work but may happily choose to and any money she makes she does not - I repeat does NOT - need to share with ANYone, including him. Sound different to what the media says? It is, because it's the truth. I LIVE it, so I'm not talking about what I'm told, only what I do.
Know this too; In Islam, family (ties of kin) are crucial. So he will tend to ask advice of his eders or religious leaders when there are problems (which are natural in a marriage) at times, and that you must know up front, and ask yourself if you're okay with it. If you are, cool, if not, re-think the marriage 'cause you're in for pain.
Yes, if you move to Saudi you will be expected to cover - the regime of the day is extremist on quite a few counts and as with any extremism, those who are not quite on the same page will NOT enjoy it.
I can't give you too much info on that here but mail me if you like. Personally, I get to choose if I want to cover or not, and guess what? I do because I WANT to; I love that it makes me feel different and special and MY scarf is like a human crap detector - anyone not "Good for me" material is put off by it, and it makes me smile.. but each makes her own choice.
As I mentioned, in Islam a woman has the right to her own money, and it's the man who has to support her - but you do have to know what religious "group" he belongs to - there's basically 2 - Sunni (where a woman is a diamond to be loved) and Shia - (where a woman is seen rather differently) with a couple of "sub" divisions. One thing you will probably find is he's intense. You'll love intensely, fight intensely, make love intensely, have fun intensely, laugh like you're both idiots -
The "Marriage" may very well last, my dear, but the question, spoken candidly to you by this muslimah who loves Islam, is this; Will YOU be happy in it, and will YOU be happy with HIM?... That's the question.
Differences in culture are not such a huge deal if you truly love each other and are happy to make compromises. When you marry a muslim, the same thing will apply. Reconsider your reasons for marrying him and revisit wether or not you love him and how he lives his faith. These are practical considerations that will affect your life on many levels.
Ask him what group he falls under in terms of religion and remember- when you marry into Islam, you USUALLY marry the family too. It's just the way it is - doesn't have to be bad, and it may not even be so intense depending on how he lives his faith. But DO take care, think carefully, and if you love him truly and he you, and you can respect his values (because it will boil down to that if you move to his country dear friend) then who cares if he's pink with purple spots?!!
There's a lot on woman in Islam most women don't know. There's also volumes that people like to THINK they know... Just make sure you're listening to the right voices. Mail me if you like, there are many questions you can ask him to help you decide if this is for you, because truly Islam is beautiful, but you got to know your rights and you got to know your MAN.
2007-03-23 02:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by Sugar 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
like a piece of property. you will have no right in saudi arabia. do not marry an arab who lives in an islamic country. don't be so stupid, ok?
2007-03-23 02:52:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
the thing to do is to see how he treats his mother most likely he will treat you the same.
2007-03-23 02:19:28 · answer #5 · answered by mommy2be 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if his family special her mother agree that's ok if not don't
2007-03-23 02:33:52 · answer #6 · answered by amirat7oby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋