What do you think about your husband saying this.....?

Question

He works 8 hours a day and feels that a twenty not even sometimes convo is ok a day than when he comes home goes to play video games doesnt even spend time with me it feels unless he is looking for sex,also told me that when we are old and gray I still want my own stuff to do,he always wants he owns things and also made a comment to me yesturday saying why would I leave you u clean my house,take care of our 6 month old son and give me good sex(he said something worse than that but not going to use that term,well I am just venting and hoping someone could just explain what a man wants and should a woman be happy with a man who rather be with nis friends or doing his own thing than be with you.

Answer 1

A man wants a partner whom he can enjoy, but he also needs his friends, too. To have a wife who has her own friends and things that she likes to do and who understands that men need to be with men and not always with the wife, is wonderful. Men especially like to have a wife who enjoys life and doesn't complain about the man's needs so when he comes home to her, he looks forward to it and loves her all the more. My wife did almost all of the caring for our children when they were young, but when our son got old enough to play ball, go fishing, go for hiking and camping trips, etc. life changed and I was the main parent in our child's life. Love your man, accept him as he is, take your son along with you and go shopping or out to eat with friends knowing that your young charge will grow up and Dad will be doing things with him while you are either with another young baby or are out enjoying things you like. Look for the good in life and you will enjoy yourself, your family, and be happier.
Bud

Answer 2

Just goes to show how easy it is to keep a man happy.
If you are a stay at home mom, I'm sure when your husband gets home you are dying to talk to an adult and be able to vent a little. Although what he is saying isn't really grounds for divorce, it is grounds for telling him exactly what you need from him. Also..try to get the things you want from yourself. Get into programs in your community. Set up "you time" with out baby or husband. You need time with your friends too. Not only is it good for you but also good for your baby so that you can stay sane and be a great Mom. I can only assume you are a young couple and your husband is still immature and so are you. Learn to get the things you need by yourself. Eventually he will notice that and be saying the same things to you that you are saying to him. Its up to you to make your life great. Here is a site my sister was on after she had her first child. http://www.mommyloop.com/
Lots of support for women with children.

Answer 3

Unless he is paying all of the bills and makes sure you're living a comfortable life, I suggest saving some money back because your gonna need it when you finally have enough and want to leave. It sounds like you two are very young. Men don't mature enough for a good husband until there over 30, at least.

Answer 4

I'm tired of seeing all these pathetic and helpless comments from these married women. If my husband ever said something like that to me I'd leave his *** so high and dry he'd turn into a california raisin before my grandmother. What is with these dependent wives and mothers? I have 2 college degrees with 3 kids- my husband and I are 27. I have earned my right to happily walk away and take care of my all - without the help of anyone--my husband knows this--but he also loves me. The day he said something like that to me--I'd be packing.

Answer 5

Well there is a compliment in there, he's said he's basically very satisfied with you as a wife. But he sounds very immature, and doesn't realize you aren't just one of his favorite gadgets to use whenever he pleases and then leave you on the shelf. I would recommend a serious talk, but he sounds like the kind who will groan and roll his eyes when you say "we need to talk" because that type always feels those words mean he's done something wrong. If that doesn't work, then suggest counseling, or he will eventually lose you and he will be scratching his head and wondering why.

Answer 6

What is he - 13? My god he is using the living sh* t out of you! Wake up! (snaps fingers in your face) Come out of your trance!

He just told you WHY he treats you like SH*T.

You cook, clean, take care of the kid, give him good p*ssy whenever he wants it - and you **still** let him behave like an irresponsible teenager with no duties, no expectations, no grownup things in his life.

Are you his mommie? Tell him, "Look, you. The free ride is over. You will do all these household chores, including your own laundry (hand him the list -- that includes vacuuming, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning the bathrooms, making the bed - EVERY DAY - and anything else you want off your back -- now). Also, when you get home, for every 30 minutes you play video games, you spend 30 minutes talking to me or being with the baby or both. You have a child and a wife and it's high time you better by god start acting like it.

Start to walk away and then whirl and pull a Lt. Columbo/Ace Ventura move - OH AND THERE IS JUST ONE MORE THING - because you have been acting like a 13 year old spoiled brat, and completely disrespecting me and taking me for granted and abusing my good nature and having me do all the grownup things and treating me like dog sh*t on your shoe, you have forced me to treat you like a teenager until you start acting like a grown-up man. SO NO MORE P*SSY UNTIL THINGS IMPROVE."

Now I normally hate women who withhold sex but he is completely taking advantage of your kind nature and the ONLY way you can get the attention of assholes like this is by clamping your legs shut. And I mean you had better not give in one bit - no oral, no quickies beause "they don't count" - none of that. You have to be tough with jerks like this. I mean I want moths circling that unused beaver in a couple of weeks.

Which reminds me - why did you marry an immature selfish using jerk like this? Did he magically turn into one the day you got married? Bleccch.

Anyway, if you consistently enforce the "no p*ssy" rule, he will step and fetch it before long. Then once you have his complete attention you can sit down with a book about being a responsible parent and start giving him tips on how to behave like a friggin' grownup. Cripes is anyone worth that much hassle? I'm just thinking about it and dear god I'd rather hold a pillow over his face while he sleeps, but hey that's just me.

Answer 7

I think your husband is being immature and unloving. It doesn't nessecarily go by age! He has better things to do?..well take his advice- don't be there when he gets home. Treat yourself to lunch, go visit friends, etc.
Guys tend to feel your being needy if the conv. goes beyond "I missed you". If the baby is taken care of, the house is clean, etc. when he gets home say" #1. I need you to work a few extra hours (I need new shoes) and #2. drop your pants. That's what I keep you for so do your job! He'll get the hint. Don't keep this up, though..habits like this can form between spouses and it takes alot from BOTH partners to change it.

Answer 8

Your husband sounds pretty imature. A marriage is a partnership. He sounds like he is looking for a mother figure that will fill his needs. Clean home, food and sex and caring for his offspring. I would not be happy with that attitude at all.
I am not sure how old you are and how long you have been married but if my husband treated me that way, we would have a serious problem, he would need to change his attitude or leave. It comes down to respect and he is not showong you any.
Amy in NC

Answer 9

right first thing first hes a self centred clown he has a 6 month old baby and obviously a caring wife and he wants to do his own thing ? he needs a wake up call I'm a 30yr old man that works on average 14hrs day and at the end of that the only place a want to be is with my wife n 2 kids in fact the reason a work 14hrs a day is for my wife n kids you need to straighten him out infact when hes after his wee visit to the lady garden you tell him to go play his games console you need to put your foot down now you have another wee life to take care of in short get rid of him or drastically shake him guys like that should be shot i would have thought that he would be so proud right now with you and your new baby.

Answer 10

relationships rarely incorporate equality, which sucks...in extremety you either have to be the nice one which kinda gets shat on or vice versa..I would suggest being the shitter, people want what they can't have, it's natural, and if you're all 'i love you' and 'i wanna spend some time together' unfortunately with some men it makes them not wanna spend time with you...so, what you have to do is act like you don't care about him...i know it sounds childish but sometimes it's the only way. Even if it means taking your son out with you, (and so doing things you wouldn't normally do) but something fun, which you can talk about and maybe make him jealous..it will be expecially good if you were to suggest you and him going out one night and getting a babysitter (have it pre-arranged) and when he says no, go out anyway with your girlfriends, have a flirt with other men (but no actual bad behaviour) this will make you feel good, and when you come back pissed and have a good night it will infuriate him...this will not be an instant result...it will take a small amount of time, but he will start to see that you don't need him to be happy, you have to continue in this fashion for a while AND after he says something, DO NOT stop immediately after he starts to get jealous and feel **** or he will know he can just click his fingers and get what he wants at any time. He is currently the boss, make yourself the boss in a different way...like...you aren't bothered if you see him, you can go out and have a good time without him, start using HIM for sex ...basically start playing him at his own game... the thing is that when people have always received what they want they don't appreciate it because they dont know what it's like to not have it. Don't do EVERYTHING for him...don't tidy the house some days, don't cook him dinner because you've gone out, little things he was taking for granted will slowly become apparent to him that without you they won't happen... this might make him angry and he could shout at you, but if you just tell him you're trying to make him realise you want to be appreciated and without this he won't realise... if he says he goes to work all day tell him (if you don't mind working or if he doesn't want you to) 'fine, let's swap roles see what he says to that and just remember whatever he says he does like getting out of the house and working cos it boosts men's ego and makes them feel like a man... therefore do not accept any sob story he trys giving you cos it aint true!! Once you achieve your goal reward him (but dont tell him it's a reward) dress up in the bedroom, cook his fave meal, give him something (not a gift) he was not receiving from you before and he'll soon realise the life with you is better and more rewardiing if he's that better person. Also it's known fact that the excitement in relationships reduce with age, so i don't agree that you should st aside a day in the week where you all go out together because when something is set it has to be done, which makes it a habit which makes it dull, after you've patched things up and the relationships going good and you are able to talk to eachother properly about it, just remember that spontenaeity(excuse the spelling) is the key to excitement (even if you're not that type of person you can become it through trial of the idea...it only takes a couple of times to make you love it). good luck babe