Friends gf of 10years died. Should we cook at his home or bring food cooked.?

Question

A male friend of mine gf died the day before yesterday. Funeral has not been done yet. Some of us say it is ok to bring food over & cook it there, like bbq or fry fish. And some say we should bring food already cooked. They have already planned to fry fish tonight and my friend is ok with it. What do you think?

Answer 1

I'd say to bring it cooked. I think that he's probably needing everything to be as laid back and calm as possible...plus with a cookout type scene, people tend to forget and they laugh and joke....which may be upsetting to him. I'm not saying that everyone would be like that....but some people just don't think about the situation. I don't know if I'd even have the fish fry....He may say he's cool with it, but are you really sure?? It seems like with this just happening day before yesterday that he's not getting a good chance to deal with grieving.....Of course you want him to try to be happy and to get over it in time...but part of that is having a time of sadness. If he is just pretty much up for the events you have planned...perhaps he is doing worse than you think. I'd make sure he's grieving and gets his emotions out because it's harder to deal with something like this later, much much better to do it now.

Answer 2

If your friend is ok with you guys cooking over there then there shouldn't be a problem I think it's very sweet of you to help him out when my daughter passed away people brought me food over already cooked I think it would do your friend some good to have company at this time so he knows how much people care sometimes when I was alone I thought about ending my life.

Answer 3

The person is dead, it wont matter whether you cook or bringed cooked food. Nothing in these actions are disrespectful to the dead. Just have eevryone do what theyre comfortable with and leave it at that. People get too edgy when someone dies and are hesitant to do alot of things when a majority of those things are completely ok to do at anytime.

Answer 4

I would bring the food already prepared. That way all your friend will need to worry about it sitting down and trying to eat. No sense in bringing everything there to cook and then having to clean up afterwards. Plus this gives you more time to spend with the friend who needs you right now. God bless you all

Answer 5

Personally, I would not want to put the family thru all of the hassle.
Everyone may be all right with the idea of cooking right now (especially some of the immediate family members) simply to keep them busy.
But, I would want to lessen the burden by bringing food from home that you have cooked or ordered.

Answer 6

I think it really depends on the state of mind of the family.

While some people might welcome the diversion, to have cooking going on......others might be annoyed at the hubbub of it all.

Normally, these circumstances merit a time of quiet comtemplation and just "being there.".....so, I would take something already prepared, if it were me.

However, you know your friend? Do you think the diversion would help manage what he is going through? Perhaps, you should ask which he prefers....

My sincerest condolences......God bless you all!

Answer 7

Bring him food thats already cooked

Answer 8

Take food cooked, he'll probably need your support so you don't want to be fussing about in the kitchen.

Answer 9

Bring cooked food.He might feel uncomfortable having people rattling around his kitchen - I know I would!

Answer 10

Cooking there might be better because it allows time for him to get involved and maybe not feel so alone.