i hate my father because from 16-18 he was my lover..i am 20 now and i wish he was dead, why do i feel like this? i cant stand talkin to him and being with him but on the other hand i wanna be around him all the time. I make death threats to him and im never home cuz he is always sleep or at work..please i have tried to kill myslef soooo many times to just get rid of all this pain but god wont let me leave....how can i love him again and have a normal realtionship with my dad? im afraid i might kill him or me...
2007-03-23 01:26:06 · 24 answers · asked by * 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I have had a close encounter to that situation with my step father. I know how it feels like, and i swear i would give anything to take all the bad memories i have in my head. I'd risk anything just to change what happened in the past. I was 5 years of age when he did that and i'm not even quite sure when it really stopped. As of today, he still lives in the same house with me and my mom and i really do want to kill him at times! Killing yourself won't give any solution to the problem though. It isn't our fault anyways, they are the one's who are dickheaded slugs! My psychology teacher once mentioned that it is a normal effect for a child in that position to have a feeling of aggression especially if you've kept it all to yourself. The feeling of helplessness and frustration makes you go crazy. I remember asking her why do these children have the urge to go near to that abusive individual after being molested, touched, raped, etc. She answered me by saying, it's a normal sex drive, no matter if you detest it, it becomes a kind of a need for you. It's all in psychology.. so i guess we aren't crazy! But i've long since stopped craving to be around him.. I guess it's just a matter of time. I've kept it all to myself and did my own ways to avoid him. If possible, i avoid seeing him or hearing him as well. Keep ur faith up and don't lose hope.. Best thing is to avoid him as much as possible especially if he isn't even at least sorry for what he has done to you and if he has the tendency to do it again. You're not alone...I'm not sure if you're a catholic, but its true that God can give you comfort. You can try praying and talking to Him too. He listens and never says a word of your secrets to anyone. God bless you.
2007-03-23 01:42:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Honey u are just 20 and sometimes people do make mistakes but then people also move on... I would first suggest that u move away from ur dad... i understand that u love him but u must also realise that u do not have a healthy relationship with ur dad....I also know that u are too young to think of suicide or about killing ur dad!!! U have the whole of ur life ahead of u... Get a person to confide in so that u can get out of this situation safe and happy.....Sometime prayers can get one thru these things too...
2007-03-23 05:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by lily 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question breaks my heart. What your father has done is so very wrong. You are a victim of child abuse of the worst kind; please do not lose sight of this. You still love your Dad very much and this is natural, but you must talk to somebody who is qualified to give you proper emotional help. I suggest you seek out a professional person, such as your doctor or a school councillor or a teacher as they will be best suited to getting you the assistance you so desperately need to cope with all this pain. You must not carry on alone. It would be very dangerous to your health (and possibly your life) to do so. Other people out there have been through what you have been through. There are people who have studied for years and years so they can know how best to help you. Please give them a chance to try. The extreme pain you feel is because you are a victim of something terrible; you must get help to get better. Best wishes x
2007-03-23 01:36:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what id advise for u to do is to go get some proffessional help i dont think anyone on here can give u the answers u are looking for and i dont think really anyone in the world can help u because its all up to u if u want to love him again. i dont think that u should return ur love for ur dad because he hurt u so much. also killling urself will not help anything because ur leaving behind everyone who loves u. try to talk to ur mom or someone u trust and maybe report him to the police.
Im sorry u had to go through this but hang in there. Good luck!
2007-03-23 01:39:23 · answer #4 · answered by Chelsea F 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fathers and daughters should never be lovers, he ruined your relationship. It is perfectly understandable that you feel the way you feel. I do not know if it is possible to repare your father/daughter relationship with him after her spent 2 years destroying it.
If you really want to try to repair it, I think that you both need counseling. You need to be able to share your feelings and make him understand how angry you are, he needs to understand that he did something very bad. I do not think that your father saying "I'm sorry" will fix anything, maybe he needs to spend some time in jail. It is not too late to tell the police.
2007-03-23 05:50:38 · answer #5 · answered by ERIC W 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
bless your heart..... child, child, child.... first of all know that you did nothin wrong. your father was wrong first of all for sleeping with you and confusing your feelings of love. sex does not make you a man or woman neither does it make an individual think more of you. realize that you are now of age to know that it is wrong and to try to initiate the situation is only more wrong. you too are at the age where you should be lookin to live on your own, where is your mother? you need to pray this demon out of your system and you also need to pray for the strength to forgive him and move on. to take your life means that your own life means nothin to you and if do that then heaven is not an option for you. but know that your answer is in a higher power, he can take all the pain away and he can give you direction. you can also become a mentor to a young girl who has gone through the same thing that you are. know that you are not alone and you can get through it. i'm prayin for you.
2007-03-23 02:48:53 · answer #6 · answered by Machelle G 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its the most disgusting thing i have ever heard.....but what is done is done, you should not let it affect your future but at the moment you need to sort it out. Tell your mom about it, I guess she wont want to live with such a ****...so probably you and your mom could live together and try and shape your future. Dont ever let your father come close to you as he might harm you again as you are young and vulnerable.
2007-03-23 01:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by sabse-sundar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your saying your father raped you I would go to the police and file charges against him. If your saying you don't want to be near him that will help because he will be in jail. If not just move out and don't have anything to do with him, what he did to you was unexcusable. He needs to be arrested and convicted of child rape. Suicide is not the answer, your not the one with the problem, he is, don't hurt yourself and get counseling. Don't feel guilty about what he did to you as you have no fault.
2007-03-23 01:43:49 · answer #8 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um after that I don't think there is any way of having a normal reltionship with ure father- which is sad. You should definalty go and seek out a counceller to help you through this
2007-03-23 01:29:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can never have a normal relationship with your father because the boundaries have been broken. He has betrayed your trust.
You need professional help - see your doctor. This is too big for a young girl to cope with on her own.
2007-03-23 01:36:08 · answer #10 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋