a boy I knew in high school starts emailing and says he thought of me often through the years and that if we would have stayed together we would have gotten married. Now he is recently divorced, and lives with a woman he met while going through the divorce. He says that she is not the love of his life but that he does not want to hurt anyone as he was hurt in the past. When I told him that I felt the same way for him, he said all he could be is a friend. He said the his girlfriend had started to see a difference in him,but he blamed it on work instead of telling her the truth. He has a problem being completely open about his feelings towards me. When I finally cornered him on the things that he said, he admitted that I was right. we keep emailing each other for over a year. He will say things like maybe it is for the best that we stop emailing each other or forget me. But he keeps reading and responding to my emails. He will read my emails sometimes 10 times over. what is going on?
2007-03-23 01:07:37 · 9 answers · asked by monalisa79 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This guy sounds like he's definitely having doubts. He's making up a pretend scenerio in his head about you two together. He's not happy with his life at home so hes using his computer as a way to escape from real life. He sounds like he's got some emotional and pychological mix-ups, like somehow he's living though his computer.
2007-03-23 01:13:11 · answer #1 · answered by trikelkelley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. So he's only recently divorced and already living with another girlfriend and emailing you that he would have married you if you had stayed together but just wants to be friends, etc. Honey, he's in emotional overload. He sounds extrememely confused about his own feelings and now it involves you and your feelings. Continuing the email correspondance with you is sort of like cheating on his girlfriend without "really" cheating. He's hinted to you that you really shouldn't be emailing each other, but when you email him, he'll respond. That shows that he is emotionally fragile. On the other hand, you're "cornering" him, as you say, and still emailing him. He doesn't really know what he want right now. He's been through a lot and needs some time to work out some feelings without pressure from anyone. Why don't you give him a break for about 6 months to give him time to sort out his feelings? Then, if he contacts you and the girlfriend is gone, he might be ready for a real relationship with you.
2007-03-23 08:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by Beckers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to like he is your love and is just trying not to hurt anyone. I've been in that boat. Some women, like my ex offen wondered why I lied to her. When I knew how she would fell about something. So, rather then hurt her feelin, I Iied. Maybe that was not the right thing to do. But, it seem right @ the time.
Now, I've been divorced for 18yrs. and have find myself makin contact w/ my childhood sweethreat. Not that I'm trying to make anything happen w/ her(she's married), now. I'm just curious as to how she is doing and how life has been to her thru the yrs.
Whereas you guys or both single. So who knows, anything is possible. It sounds like he definitely cares about(if, not loves) you. As it also appears you care about him w/ all of this emailin. Let it go and see where it leads. Who knows???
Good luck!
2007-03-23 08:25:52 · answer #3 · answered by Don B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the guy has D.I.D. (disassociative identity disorder - the old multiple personality d/o). Hey, it's possible. It certainly sounds like you're getting several different people on the other end. In any case, you're obviously going to get no where with this guy. He has no idea what he wants. I like roller coasters, but I wouldn't want to live on one. I don't think there's a problem with emailing him, but I don't think you should put your heart into this one. He's just going to keep jerking it around.
I think he's an emotional retard!
2007-03-23 08:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetie, he is playing with your emotions. If he really cared about you and wanted to be with you since he is divorced especially..he would. Forget about him. Tell him that since he is involved with someone that you do not want to exchange emails and block him. Find someone who is willing and available for you and to you. Someone who makes excuses is not the person you want in your life. Choose someone proud of you, who will respect you, share your life with you. This guy has problems....don't let him turn in to one of your problems.
2007-03-23 08:47:59 · answer #5 · answered by curious74432 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is having an emotional affair with you. It sounds like it is a secret and it is not fair to the woman that he is with. I would tell him that if he is single, lets pick this chat up, but right now it is not healthy for either of you. Put yourself in HER shoes for a minute... and act accordingly.
2007-03-23 08:33:34 · answer #6 · answered by findingselflove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's interested in what you're telling and saying to him. He probably doesn't take things seriously, cause he keeps going back on his word. I think that he likes you but he wants to drop you but can't.
2007-03-23 08:13:11 · answer #7 · answered by Soaring 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop all contact with him. No wonder his g/f sees a difference in him, he's probably doing all of this behind her back and lying to her face.
2007-03-23 08:25:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's living with someone you need to leave him alone. stop e-mailing him, find someone else.
2007-03-23 09:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋