right....the jist i have cheated on my bf but i told him we broke up i left him cause i could not let him stay with me after wot i did we have just got back together...im practicly living with him now to stop the paranoier...heres my dilema i overlsy exspect some hostility but he has ripped all my tops up i have to wear his he has smashed my straightners n make up i have to ask his permision for everything n i mean EVERYTHING!!!! ive tryed to talk but i get the same anger he is sure he wants me he actually broke up with his new gf n rang me he wants us to have kids now n he is addament he wants me n only me im not gonna cheat again i worship him i was messed up at the beginning im not making excususes cause wot i did was wrong but surly i dont deserve this its been happening for 3 weeks now n its getting no better the closer he is getting to me the worse he is getting he dose not hit me but he does rag me alot infront of ppl n everything if he is not gettin the behaviour he wants HELP!
2007-03-23 00:00:34 · 46 answers · asked by Laura Ashley 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i have devoted myself to him i bath him cook do everything to make him smile trust me but he has hurt me to he was para befor this he is 18 n very self obsessed he is forever wanting to hear he is gawjus always has i never here it all i get is ya no ya our i worship him i do n he came looking for me to get back together i need to make him understand ive gave up everything for him now n im not even noing my self wen i look in the mirrior!!!!
2007-03-23 00:21:00 · update #1
thank you to everyone!!! im gonna give him chance to change in my world right now he loves me i no he does as long as i behave myself we are happy x im really gratefull for all ya concern x
2007-03-23 00:44:12 · update #2
My god woman, you cheated on him and he's treating you like you shot his mother! I realise he must be hurting and he's just trying to make you pay for being the one that hurt him, however, (this is going to sound harsh) he is not the first person to be cheated on and he certainly won't be the last. You need to ask yourself if he is with you because he really wants to share his life with you or if he is just trying to make you pay for hurting him and has no interest in a real future with you. If he gets his knickers in a twist over this ultimatum then you need to just start anew. Life is too short to spend with someone who can't get his head out of the past. We all f*ck up from time to time but the key is in whether or not he can truly forgive you or not. By the way, I have found from personal experience that people don't cheat for no reason (most of the time) and it ounds like you are taking too much of the responsibility for this scenario. You need to ask him to stop acting like the wounded soldier and either forgive you and move on together or to move on in separate paths. Good luck, don't shoulder anymore than you have to.
2007-03-23 00:14:28 · answer #1 · answered by Helen B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship has become abusive, and if you stay in it, the abuse will only escalate. What you did does not give him the right to abuse you. I know it's not physical, yet, but you have to be scared! I would be. It would be the worst decision of your life if you stay with him and have children. I think you would have eventually seen this behavior from your boyfriend even if you hadn't cheated, he would have waited until you were married and then done the same thing. You need to get out of this relationship now, do not wait. The longer you wait the harder it will be. Get yourself away from this guy and to a safe place and stop beating yourself up over cheating. Reach out to your family, stand firm, and don't fall for any false promises he'll probably give you, like if he says he's sorry and he won't act like that again if you go back to him. I'm repeating myself, this guy is an abuser, he does not deserve the "worship" you have for him. Good Luck.
2007-03-23 00:24:58 · answer #2 · answered by nimo22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know how old you are I'm guessing around 19 to 21. CUZ people at that age don't know what to do really in this situation.
1) pack what you have got left.
2)show him the bag and say look if you don't straiten out I will leave and I am NOT coming back.
3) if it doesn't work. While he is gone call a friend close by and ask them to help you move your stuff out and leave!
You can not stay there underneath any circumstances. If you do have kids with him and Marry him he could in the long run start to hit and your children. And intimidate theme so bad that there not going to not talk to any one an d there be so closed in that there not going to know what to do
All i can tell you is to GET OUT OF THAT PLACE ASAP!
OK I am not yelling i am trying to emphasize the matter. But pleas for your own sace get out.
2007-03-23 00:16:07 · answer #3 · answered by Dan!-y3ll <3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id get the hell out of there straight away, i know he's angry with what you did and he has a right to but that doesn't mean he can start treating you like a bag of **** all the time. He's always going to be that way now with you cos he won't be able to ever get over the fact that you cheated on him. So the best advice is to leave for good and maybe stay single for a while, having kids will only make things worse. Leave the relationship, good luck.
2007-03-23 00:11:42 · answer #4 · answered by Liam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How much are you worth in all of this? If this was happening to your best friend, sister or Mum, what would you tell them?
I suspect you would advise them to leave, find their own space, end all contact with this man until he can prove that 1) he has worked his anger through elsewhere, 2) that he is mature enough to handle a longterm relationship and 3) that he understands what it means to forgive someone.
You sound very young, if this is the case I really, really hope you leave this man and move on to better things. A new job, night school, a college course could all open up better opportunities than this man will ever offer you - and you will have done it yourself. Find your strength and self respect and walk away from this abuse.
Good luck and God bless.
2007-03-23 00:11:08 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has a lot of issues by the sound of it and not just you cheating on him. This does not sound like he is going to get any better with his obsession, he is controlling you and bringing kids into this is only going to make things worse. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life suffering for one little mistake? you did something bad but it does not warrant this behaviour. You obviously feel something for him so give him a chance, he gets some anger management or you leave. No one deserves to be treated like that, no matter what you did.
2007-03-23 00:18:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously had a deeper reason to have cheated on him, and maybe have only got back together with him, because you feel you owe it to him.
If you are having second thoughts now then that is probably what happened the first time.
from what you are saying this guy obviously thinks more about his self than you.
You sound like you need to give and yet need to get some attention of love back, and this guy is not giving you that.
Talk to him, if you cannot work something out maybe you should move on.
2007-03-23 03:48:15 · answer #7 · answered by Brain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to be in a relationship with a man that won't even let you wear make-up? And is so paranoid that you have to check with him whenever you do something or go somewhere?
Listen what happens in the past stays in the past, he know and you knows now move on, however what you are describing sound like the start of a abusive relationship.
controlling controlling controlling.
Leave and just be by yourself for a little bit. Good luck
2007-03-23 00:07:58 · answer #8 · answered by Ruthie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out now. Yeah you cheated on him,
and yeah he is hurting. But you are both very young.
You cannot and should not have to put up with this anger.
Do you really want him to go on at you in front of people
all the time. Tell you are sorry, you tried and it is best for
both of you if you wnet your own ways.
It just goes to show what the effects of cheating can do
to a person. Good Luck.
2007-03-23 01:03:53 · answer #9 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yo need to put some space between you, you're right you don't deserve to be treated like this.......so, refuse to be treated like that! Put your foot down, don't let him use tour guilt as an excuse to abuse you, because this is what he is doing. Draw a line that he must not pass, and by the way make him pay (cash) for the things he has ruined. Finally if he cannot have a balanced relationship with you, leave him.
2007-03-23 00:16:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋