Do you judge people on the clothes they wear?

Question

Are you turned on by people who claim to have a superior dressing sense?

Why do people disparage others because of their clothes?

Answer 1

Hi Maddy, for me it is not so much about being "turned on" by those who dress well, but more about being "turned off" by those who don't. I fully understand many people are very poor, and I have been that poor myself, so folks who lack funds are not going to be able to dress as well as they might like. It is not folks who have difficulty purchasing decent clothing, but rather those who do, but choose not to.

It is human nature to judge others, and while I do try hard to see a person for who they are and not for the package they are in, it sometimes is difficult when a person who chooses to seperate him or herself from the crowd by dressing in negitive manners. Many of us here in the United States like to lay claim to not having "classes". However, this is simply not true. In other answers to question(s) you put forth, we spoke a bit about this. About how we have failed to achieve a "classless" society. We can all tell if somebody is of "our class" by how an individual dresses and comports oneself. If I walked into a fine resteraunt in my jeans and a nice blouse and sandles, (my usual dress of choice) I would be frowned upon by the patrons and probably expelled from the establishment. The excuse would be I did not meet the dress requirements, but the real reason would be they clearly see I am not of that class who frequents that particular establishment. Once, my deceased husband took me to a very nice resteraunt, one which catered to more affluant folks. I did not object as he was proud to take me to this nice place, it was a treat he had planned for a while. However, I was very conscience of the disaproving looks and the snooty attitude of our waiter. We stayed and had a nice meal, but it was difficult to actually enjoy it. My dear husband was oblivious to the under currents and I kept him there as it would only have hurt him to think I felf undeserving of eating at a particular place. Men seem a bit less sensitive to such social barriers, but women are right on top of them. Why this is true simply goes to the way we are raised, to recognize the needs of those around us and to try to meet them.

I do have to say I don't actually care for the "upper" levels of society here in this country or any Western culture. If we were to become wealthy I and my husband would not feel "part" of those who have "old" money. We also would not feel "part" of others who had "new" money and enjoy flashing it around by making large purchases and wearing expensive jewlery, etc. Those who are new to wealth tend to flash, while those who were born wealthy live rather understated, but in luxury. I watch some of those "fashion" shows and am appalled at some of the clothing offered for thousands of dollars. I wouldn't be caught dead in many of those outfits! I remember an episode of "I Love Lucy", where they were in Paris and Lucy and her friend despertly wanted a "designer" dress. Well, Ricky and Fred went out and got some flour sacks, a couple of buckets for hats, and made "designer" dresses for the "girls". Of course this was to teach them a lesson of falling into the fashion debacles. When the "girls" opened boxes seemingly from a famous designer, they were wowed, and put on these rediculous made up atrocious dresses and went out like they were some snooty snobby rich women in designer clothing. Of course they were laughed at and humiliated, and everyone watching the show thought it funny.

I however thought it horrid husbands would treat wifes like children. While the I Love Lucy show is from a different time, (thank God!) it still goes to the heart of class and wealth and how people judge by looks, clothing and attitudes. Living in the most highest class of this country means disembling and lying about how one feels about others. People are sweet and accepting to your face, but while smiling they tear you apart with barbs and quips meant to hurt and maim. I simply am unable to tolerate such behavior and so I would stand out as an outsider in such a crowd. I would also be a priime victem of such behaviors as with me what you see is what you get, there is not an ounce of subterfuge or dishonesty about me. I am judged because I am unable to lie or be dishonest. People just don't know how to take me and so are suspicious of me. They simply have trouble believing I don't have any hidden motives or agendas with them. I understand, but it is difficult to find good friends who are able to give back at the level I give. My children are in the same predictiment as they were raised to be kind and honest, not decietful or mean spirited, or selfish.

I sure do get off track don't I? lol Anyway, sure we all judge others by how they dress. It can go both ways though, judged for dressing too poorly for the class you are in, or for dressing to flashy for the class your weath puts you in. If a person wishes to really "belong" he or she has to make a decison to comform. Only the richest folks are able to be truely different and get away with it. Instead of being weird or lacking in some manner they are labled, "quirky", or "eccentric", and everybody chuckles with fond amusement, rather than in any negitive manner. However, if you or I do the same, we are judged negitively, right or wrong it is a fact of life.

I choose to not comform, and as such I pay a price. It was once an unconscience choice, one I just felt right, and the price then was hurt feelings and feeling of not belonging. However, as I grew older I began to understand exactly what I would be giving up if I choose to comfrom. Happiness can be very allusive for those who choose to comform. Comforming may bring materialistic items by gaining social acceptance and increasing ones power by climbing the corperate and social ladders, but it stiffles who the person really is. When we are stiffled how can we truly be happy?

The children who take the road their folks laid out for them may do well in life finacially but often will be unhappy as it is not the road they may have chosen for themselves. Clothing is a part of that as well as how one conducts oneself. We are groomed from childhood and that demarks who we are for the rest of our lives unless we make a conscience decison to buck the rules and expectations of those around us. By doing this we will pay a price, but for me it is a price I am willing to pay. Happiness if far more important to me than wealth or dressing in the newest designer clothing, or having the latest electronic gadgets, or driving a brand new Lexus every two years, or having a house I need a maid or two to care for, etc. There are websites all over which depict wealthy but unhappy spouses who are searching for extramarital affairs. The Eagles song, "Lying Eyes", about the young woman who married for wealth and went out to the poorer section of town for love really outlines this situation.

Anyway, sure people judge others by how they dress and yes some are turned on by those in flashy clothing, and fancy cars. However, it represents a lie: there may be comforts and security in weatlh, but it doesn't mean there will be happiness. However, we will continue to judge others by their appearance, regardless of how much we know this is wrong and unfair. We mean well, we really do, however, those first ten seconds of meeting somebody is the lasting impression we take with us. If we don't put forward our best in those first ten seconds we will be relegated to a lower class. How we dress and grooom ourselves is vital when we wish to make a good impression. For example: If a boy were to come to pick your daughter up for a date and he had on black leather and boots and drove up on a Harly, would you really want your child leaving with him? He could be the nicest person around and be wonderful to her, but the first impression is one of danger and one who bucks society. Then again, if he showed up dressed in nice slacks, in his fathers lexus, or BMW, brought flowers, and spoke well, was polite, came to the door, the likelihood of a father feeling relief is huge. The young man could have simply changed prior to coming to pick his girl up, and still be exactly the same guy on the bike a few hours ago. We can shed and put on new skin at any moment, purposely disguising who we really are. We use clothing, attitudes, etc, as masks, and most people wear masks.

Even knowing this truth, we still fall into that first ten second judgement of any person we first meet. First impressions last a very long time and are difficult to shed once it is established. If that same young man who was dressed well, spoke well, polite, later drove up on that bike in leather and boots, that first impression would be juxaposed on top and still viable. He could then get away with being who he really is as long as he pulls out his first impression getup every so often. There are many who have perfected the art of first impressions while hiding who they truely are. These folks have agendas we may not like the affects of and many are grifters. There are those who have refined the art so well they can merge with one crowd after another and nobody would know the difference. Look at undercover cops who get down into the underbelly of society, then come home to the wife and children. They are affective at what they do, and it is needed, but it shows how we need to really take care in how we allow that moment of first impression to affect our judgement.

Well, again, a question which is seemingly simple, but is quiet complex. You are very good at these types of question, Maddy! lol I tend to think a lot, and as such can over do a subject. I often found it difficult in school to keep my term papers on topic, as one easily leads to a connecting topic, which leads to a next, then to another and so on and so forth. Each componant is related, but can take me on a journey far supassing the original subject. lol

Like anybody else, I have a "normal" dress style, but still enjoy "dressing up". I have several very nice dresses and all the related items, and enjoy the looks I get when I wear one of these outfits. However, I still am a jeans and blouse Lady, who is from the country, and this is what is presented in daily life. I also enjoy wearing nice feminine suites, but am not particulary comfortable in them. I am most comfortable and feel more myself in my jeans, nice blouse, and sneakers, or cute sandels. If somebody wishes to judge me so be it. lol I am old enough to not really care that much for what others think, and that is very freeing. Oh, I still care about my loved ones opinions and I hate being looked down upon, but the freedom of just being me is well worth it, don't you agree? My husband seems to think I am something special and I think he has on rose colored glasses. Then again, I think he is somebody special and he thinks I have on rose colored glasses. My point is I find people the most attractive who are decent human beings with honor, integrity, ethics, kindness, etc, but don't know just how great they are. Once somebody "knows" they are great, then they get a big head and simply lose that element of uniqueness. Once somebody starts believing they are truly something special, well they lose that special quality. It is in the lack of knowlege that I find so sweet and compelling. A person can have a high level of self esteem and confidence and yet not have a "big head" and that is the most attractive quality for me. It is the person who has a solid foundation of who they are, what they believe in while keeping an open mind, which is attractive. We can have a strong belief sysem and yet know our way is not the only way. Take off the outer layers and what is left? When we grow old, and our looks are fading, what is left? It is that what is left I find attractive, if indeed anything is left after the outer layers are removed. Worse: If ugliness is what is left. I have seen many beautiful people who are hollow at best, and ugly and mean at worst.

Well, I believe we are all guilty of judging others by what they wear and how they conduct themselves. I think many try not to engage in such low behavior, but it is human nature and difficult to control. We may refrain from speaking of it when we do it, but we still leave with that first impression and it stays with us. It is not just clothes either, but the color of ones skin, the car they drive, the color they choose to pain their homes, or rooms, how they decorate, what they eat, what they buy. I know folks who say they can tell by what is in a grocery cart what a person is like, or what is in their bathroom cupboards. Yep, some folks actually make an excuse to use your bathroom just so they can snoop and make judgements about who you are! So, yeah, this is a huge topic, one we could discuss for hours and still not exhaust. But I had better but my own chatter to an end. lol

I wish you a grand day and a wonderful upcoming weekend.

Answer 2

Both yes and no. In the normal society (for examples in the western countries), If people wearing cloth which covers all the body from the top to the bottom and show only the eyes , then I judge them as they are weird. It seems these people wanted to be isolated themselves. It seems these people are mysterious, seems like there is something they hide behind that cloth. Otherwise, under normal circumstances, I never judge people according to their cloth. The other things I can emphasized that wherever I travel and visit different places or countries, I have to check and read about the customs and ethics how one have to behave and dress for not offending the local people, or to avoid the misunderstanding.

Answer 3

I am probably guilty of that but only if the clothes are dirty as well as the person. (I think it would not be difficult to try and be reasonably clean.) Other than that it matters not to me whether the clothes are top brand or no brand.
I would NEVER judge a small child by their clothes clean or not.

Answer 4

It's nice to have a good sense of style, but I'm not turned on by it. I believe in the saying "It's whats inside that counts" I'm also not too keen on stupidity, an example would be anyone that pays outrageous prices for "Big name" apparel. They're not too bright.

Answer 5

Judging someone on their appearance is ignorant, after all, we all wear the clothes we like. Well, some wear clothes to look good and please other, these people are pathetic too

Answer 6

It is a matter of aesthetics. Nicely dressed persons are definitedly a turn on.

Answer 7

I would like to say I don't..but have been guilty of doing it. I am trying to harder to see the person instead of the outfit they have chosen to wear.

Answer 8

No, people with small minds do that.