Save me my love, I need you to be my Hero.
I am with you now but the Fates friend is coming. it is coming around
It is coming . It’s now.
Catch my hand I’m reaching, stretching, grab it now. Now!
I’ll think of you, I’ll call, If you can wait for me, still want me
I don’t want to leave you, but Fate is so strong
Be my Hero, Love, next time hold me tighter
I’ll be with you again, Time has me now, taking me to Fate
Ssshhhh! Time moves to fast. It looses track, of what it takes. I can escape. I will escape.
Just hold me now, Love. quite. Lets sleep in quite.
Time hasn’t notice I’m gone. Fate will be asking soon though.
Just stay still, look in my eyes, I’ll hold your hands, Lets lace our legs
I know Fate is coming. Hold me tightly, push me into you. I’ll hide inside you.sssshhh …
Be Love, Save me, Want me, I’ll be your love too
We can win, we can be stronger than Fate, Please Hero, trust.
We can win. Hold tight, I don’t mean to hurt you, I’m trying not to let go, please trust. I beilve you can save me. save us.
Please be my Hero, please. Don’t lose me. This happened before, he trusted Fate.
Fate is strong, don’t trust it. Trust Love. Trust us or let me go.
Yes,I know Fate is strong, it doesn’t give up.
Quick! Tell me your truth, your fear, your disgrace, your needs, your wants
I’ll tell you mine, Hero. I will be your Love, your Hero. be my Love, my Hero.
Fate is not so bad, my Love, with you here.
I didn’t know you needed a Hero too, My Love.
2007-03-22 23:50:11 · 5 answers · asked by mjoon 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
2 - there is an expression of feeling... an effort at least i guess... thats why the two .. but overall
honestly .. there is no structure, no flow, no passion, no substance. A little repetitive and seems like you're procrastinating. Needs passion, needs feel.
Your spelling is horrible as well.
Yes 2 or maybe 1 for the effort.
At least you tried.
2007-03-23 00:07:35 · answer #1 · answered by eurofish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pretty good, but not my style. it's the same thing- more a short story than a poem. it could even be a song, but it doesn't make for good reading. I'd say a 4- i got bored and just skimmed the last paragraph too much repetition in it. And the last paragraph now that i'm looking at it again, it's almost confusing. keep it short and sweet or at least half what it is, and keep it clear. don't repeat words too often and don't try to tell a whole story. (:
keep writing! this was a good attempt! (and really not that bad of a story.)
2007-03-23 06:59:14 · answer #2 · answered by lynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 - a little stilted and repetitive.
2007-03-23 06:53:11 · answer #3 · answered by =42 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
-10. It's crap. Don't quit your day job.
2007-03-23 06:52:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, 10 , I think it is beautiful. â¥
2007-03-23 06:55:29 · answer #5 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋