Should we stay together? Long distance.?

Question

We have been together for 2 yrs. We used to live close and see each other every day but he has been sent back to the US (Air Force).

I have visited him once in 6 months (we havent been able to meet up since). We love each other but it is hard.

He stopped returning my calls etc for 3 weeks and I just assumed it was over. I called him last night and he answered but said that he hadnt called me because he is so depressed about everything. He loves me but it has made him so unhappy that he blocked this side of him life out.

I know that if we were together things would be different and we would be happy. He says the same. We have another 1 1/2 years to go apart.

Do i break up with him?

If he would agree I want to have a long break for the next 2 yrs to sort out what we want. We can live our lives totally seperate, keep in touch occasionally and then at the end of the 2 years work out what we want to do.

Is this a good idea?

He is worried I will find someone else.

I always thought this guy was 'the one' and we talked about how hard it would be before he left and tried to promise each other that we would make a real effort no matter how hard it got.

Are we just falling at the first hurdle or is it pointless to continue this relationship.

Is it realstic that we could get back together after a break...does anyone know of this working?

I would gladly wait for him if he could give me comittment that we will be together at the end of it, but not prepared to wait two years for nothing.

Is his 3 week silence just a blip because he is down or will this keep happening?

Dont you think I have heard that military thing before? I think I know him well enough after 2 years, they are not all jerks.

Answer 1

yes if both of you are believing on your dreams together as one.
I've had a 5-year relationship same long distance, and it was 2 years ago since we brokeup, but i have been thinking that may be if i really had that patience we could still be happy together, if we didn't separate.
But of course i am in a new relationship now, because there were problems (HIS problems i discovered) that i cant get over). But yours is a different story.
I advise you not to feel too pressured about deciding if you should break up with him or not. Because you would regret it in the end, if you didn't take enough time to decide. Engage, as much as possible to other activities which will make you forget about the pressure of confusion.
-like sports activities-badminton.
Being on a long distance relationship should not hinder your communication. You may suggest to him to communicate through a webcam, yahoo messenger where you could talk freely with no long distance charge hazards.
If he really loves you, he must find his way to stick with you, the same way that if you really love him, you must find your way to stick with him. I'm assuming you're now on the satge that you're starting to loose hope. I'm telling you, it's just a storm in your relationship, and it's just part of missing so much your boyfriend.
Ask him, the timeline, or timeframe as to up to when shall he be staying away from you. Both of you should have a common plan as to what year, or specific date should you be staying together.
If both of you agrees, then there should be no proble. All is settled through good and sincere communication.
I'm sure you might envy other people also who have boyfriends with them all the time, and there might be advices from your environment might makes you rethink about your relationship. But what about your promise? What about his? It's not about other people. It's about the both of you. Only the the two of you are the masters of yourselves. Nobody should separate you if you just believe with each other.
Just bare in mind, whenever you decide, it should come from yourself and him alone and not from other people, you may take my advise and others, but you should learn to weigh the advises, are they good or bad advices?
Regarding contentment, as part of not pressuring yourself, just talk one day at a time, one step at a time, and don't think of jumping into another relationship yet just to overcome your sadness. Because I'm telling you you are not ready yet.
Take into consideration the efforts you have invested with your man, and the happy moments it would bring, if you made this sacrifice of being separated only literally by continents (long distance) but after this, you know yourself that you be happy with him for the rest of your life, the fight for it the best way you can. Just pray.
If you like something achieved you can do it. It is only you who would really decide if you can't do it, and it would be unfair for your boyfriend if he really loves you and you gave-up.
Just make sure he really loves you that much. And you too. After that, things would be less complicated.

Hope this would help you. God Bless!

Answer 2

Two years is a long time to be apart from someone. In that two years, you could get pregnant, find someone else to fall in love with and get married. Or vise versa. I personally have never heard of anyone taking a break for so long and getting back together. I think that you should try as hard as you can to work things out. But, if he is not trying then you shouldn't. Because it's not fair for you to put forth all the effort and he doesn't talk to you for 3 weeks. I don't know, it's all up to you and how you feel. Take care!

Answer 3

I hate to tell you this, but he's probably not depressed and much as is he's seeing someone. Staying together in a long distance relationship is a great thought. But the truth is that with everyday that passes, you grow a little bit more apart from each other, your lifestyles change, you meet different people and before you know it your kicking a dead horse. If you guys really do love each other, do yourselves a favor and split the sheets while on good terms. If its really love, he'll be back., or you will.

Answer 4

Blocking someone out is a terrible thing to do, and so painful. My spouse did this a few times, while he was depressed and we were living longdistance. I also jumped to the conclusion that it was over. Who wouldnt?

It takes a VERY strong woman to make it work through the long distance, especially with a man who behaves like that. (as it does take a strong man to go through it aswell).

If you love him, and you know he is the one. And trust him completely. Then stay. But it could mean alot of heartache in the future. But I am just getting out of the long distance situation of our relationship. It was REALLY hard for us to get passed all the things that were said and done. But we love eachother.

If your not 100% sure he is the one, and you have bad thoughts about what hes doing when he has his freak outs. You need to take a break. And if during the break you decide you rahter be longdistance from him then without him, then you go from there.

But believe me, the last thing you want to do is tear your self apart for another year and a half wondering if he broke up with you during those freak outs. Thats so much pain and heart ache for someone to go through.

I wish you all the best, and in the end you have to follow your heart.

Answer 5

if you are destined to each other no matter how many miles away, you still ended up each other. Its just hard for the first year but you both get used to it. If you really love each other, then you can both wait and let the communication open. Waiting for someone that is worth while will be, more than anything.

Answer 6

I stopped reading when I saw that he was in the military. I going to keep it real with you. He's in military, do you really think he's being faithful to you. If you do, then you a damn fool. Move sweet heart.

Answer 7

that might make him plung over the end. Why cant you wait for him. If you love each other the waiting is worth it.

Answer 8

get married imediately