How do you get over failure?

Question

I auditioned for my university's hip-hop dance group. I failed. Then I tried out for my university's jazz dancing group. I failed again. I don't know why I failed, because I considered myself to be pretty good. Still, I need to get over my self-pity, self-flagellation, depression, and jealousy (my friend got in). It doesn't help that I geniuinely love dancing, and geniuinely wanted to use the opportunity to make friends with some of the people in the groups--now that opportunity is lost.
I don't want to talk about it with anyone else for fear of sounding whiny. Anyway, I've tried watching movies, eating chocolate, eating in general, working out, focusing on schoolwork, gossiping--nothing works. I really want to stop wallowing--help! I'd especially love (true) stories about successful people who had to experience countless rejections before their big break. Or something.

Oh, and don't suggest sex.
Thanks.

Answer 1

You need to stop focusing inward- the biggest trap we have as human beings is to find fault with ourselves- we look inward and find all the mistakes and try to eliminate them- the problem is that our human nature is to become the very thing we focus on- so, if you are going to look at your faults the whole time they will grow and eventually consume you- focus on your goals rather- your potential is more than you know- and realise that. Others opinions of your value is just that-thier opinions- dont take it too seriously

Answer 2

Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is move on and be graceful about it. Don't go around nursing a grudge on the people who made the decision (or the people who got in). I met with a lot of rejections when I auditioned for college plays and a cappella groups. In fact, just this week I auditioned for the opportunity to be my school's undergraduate commencement speaker. My speech (which incidentally concerned the subject of failure) wasn't chosen, but I'm not letting myself dwell on it. Just keep trying. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something.

As for famous people having rejections before their big break...back in the late '80s, an actor was fired from a short-lived sitcom involving talking babies. Afterward, the producer told everyone that the actor was a two-bit SOB who would never make it in the business. The actor's name was George Clooney. Just goes to show you, sometimes the powers-that-be don't know talent when they see it.

Answer 3

How about go dancing?! You love it, it makes you happy, so dance! Dance while you are eating chocolate. Dance while you are gossiping. Look for a dance class you want to study & go take it. If you think it wouldn't be too hard try to find a supporting role associated with the dance groups such as music provider. You could still make friends with these people. It's ok to be sorry you didn't get what you want in these groups but, don't stop dancing! You may just find your own group of people to dance with. The groups may be "lost" right now, but by losing you will open yourself up to so many other things to fill the void which will bring you back to opportunities gained. Good Luck & Peace

Answer 4

Take dance classes... then you'll still get to make friends with other dancers and you can improve your style and work on the positives instead of eating chocolate.

With any luck your increased performance will get you the break you wanted next time, and someone else will get left out and disappointed.

As for stories, did you know Piers Anthony was rejected for 12 years by publishers and is now the world's most prolific (and one of the wealthiest) novelists? Or that Colonel Sanders spent two years going door to door trying to sell his Kentucky Fried Chicken recipe and was turned down flat, but as he didn't give up he became a billionnaire and a household word?

Hope that helps ;-)

Answer 5

By getting over it.
Remember, Elvis couldn't sing as a child and most millionaires failed at business many times before they succeeded. Even Stephen King got rejection letters.
Keep dancing for the joy of it. If you end up not being "good enough", oh well.
Wanting to get in the groups just to make friends with the dancers is not a really good reason to want to "make it".
There are plenty of ways to make friends with those people. Backstage.
Or do you just want to show them up and be the "Star"?
Examine your true motives for wanting to be in the groups.
If it is because you love to dance, then you should go far.

Answer 6

My wife struggled for years to get to the position she wanted in her career. She was overlooked for promotions several times and people less qualified than her were given the job,etc. She never gave up and continued to work hard and do the best she could. Eventually, she got the opportunity she had been waiting for. After 3 months of interviews and waiting for an answer, she got her dream job.She was only able to enjoy her dream job for 4 years because then she was injured, had back surgery and now can no longer work. I guess the moral of her story would be to never give up on what you want. Everyone has failures before their success. Learn from these things and if dance is what you love, then practice, practice,practice!! Keep working at it and continue to audition for things. You will reach your goal if you continue to work at it and don;t give up or give in. Nothing worth having is easily attained. When you finally do accomplish your goal, you will look back and say...it was all worth it!

Answer 7

First of all you need to accept it and learn from it. You were not one of the lucky ones this time, but next time it may be your turn. Maybe you made some mistakes or just weren't as ready as you thought you were. That shouldn't stop you. Keep trying, keep improving your skills and exercising and go for more auditions. Don't give up. Don't focus on the failure and let it keep you down but rather look at how you can learn from it and how you can work on improving yourself in order to succeed and reach your goal.

Good luck!

Answer 8

It does suck. I feel for you. Maybe you could talk to the people running the dance groups and ask them why you didn't make it in. That would stop the wondering. Remember that's not the last opportunity.

I don't have any stories for you. But good luck, just keep trying and don't let it ruin your dreams

Answer 9

Jordan only shot around 50% from the field during his career. But he took many more shots than other players. If dancing is what you are passionate about, keep trying. You sound young, you'll get it soon.

Answer 10

Go to a childrens hostpital and see that there are alot of people worse off than you are.Try helping these children by talking to them or reading to them, or dance for them....I guarentee that this audience will love you and you will get your confidence back. You will then realise there is more to lifethan feeling sorry for yourself.
Good luck.