I'm a bad bad bad mom, I hate myself?

Question

I feel so horrible , i don't deserve to be my baby's mom. Oh my gosh, I dare , what was I thinking to yell at my 6 mon old baby. I will never forgive myself, no matter how stress i am, I shouldn't yell at my love like that (crying). I'm in a death end where my husband is not supporting me mentally, I don't care about financially help bcus i believe I can take care of my daughter and I myself as I always do. He expecting us to live wit his family but I have no privacy here. His sis always comes to my room and her bf takes my baby out of my sight withou saying anything. My husband is still asking for his parents approval even things related between me and him. He bought his family cars, house, and take them to shopping but I don't mind as long we move out and have our own place. He rejected, told me he will never move out, he wants to help them forever.

his mom 46 and dad 54 , younger sis 20 and they all working. They want their son to live wit them forever

I asked him to get the prune juice for my baby she was constipated for 5 days already and he was kinda of mad. I told him I'll get it myself and he went wit us, my baby was crying and I called out her name loud.

Answer 1

God, that baby is destined to hate you so much. I do not envy you. Not one bit. Nor do I envy the poor kid with the evil mother.

Answer 2

I've been exactly where you are. My second baby was pretty high maintenance compared to my first (a situation which has totally reversed itself!), and this time around I had no help whatsoever, because my husband was running a business alongside his full-time job. She whined whenever I put her down, and only slept (lightly) for 15 minutes at a time. One night it took me 3 hours just to make spaghetti because of holding her. And of course, Daddy has a knack for walking in just as dinner is ready. Anyway, one night, going on short snatches of sleep at best, I had just sat down with her to nurse--about 3 am. She was colicky I guess, and kept attaching and letting go, fussing and fidgeting. I tried a few things, but she just kept it up, and I finally said, "What? What do you want?!" And just by sensing my tone and the frustration in my voice, that little bottom lip stuck out and she cried for real then! I had hurt my 4 month old baby's feelings. I'm truly a monster. I instantly felt awful, of course. And after that night, I became more patient, because I realized I had been so tired and stressed that in caring for her, a lot of times, I'd been going through the motions, and not always actually savoring those precious moments. It's as if it had to happen to make me realize that my fatigue, worries, whatever do not come first, because their baby days go by so fast. I still carry regret that I didn't ask for help, some relief from family members and/or friends, an hour here and there, or even my husband, so I could have enjoyed this time even more. Don't get me wrong, she was a joy, always smiling, she just should have been a marsupial! I feel for you, because it seems he's not too sensitive to your needs, and you need to thrive for the well-being of two people! If money isn't an issue, is it possible that he can build your little family separate housing on the parents' property, giving you privacy and him his proximity? Or even very close by! It sounds like you're being kept prisoner, in a way, even though if he could give an inch and consider your needs just a little, you would have a good situation, with willing, loving babysitters and family right at your fingertips, family close-by. At least set some ground rules and demand your privacy. It's your baby too. And if they don't respect that, then be prepared to put up with it or leave and take your baby. They have to know you are serious. Good luck, and let me know what develops! Oh, and don't feel bad any more, your baby forgives you, and can feel your love.

Answer 3

Oh my gosh, you really need to de-stress in this upsetting circumstance. Get your own place without people invading your bedroom and hauling off your child. You may end up having to make a life for you and your child without your husband in the future, if he doesn't grow up and become a husband and a father instead of a little boy to his family. You could use some marital counseling, if you have access to it. A man in this world is not normally expected to live with his mommy and daddy and not have his separate life.

Yelling at your baby is a sign that your stress is approaching the breaking point. It doesn't mean you're a bad parent, because a bad parent would yell at their baby and not feel that it was wrong. Don't take your feelings out on your baby, but try to make some plans with or without your husband to get a place where you feel safe and sane. Maybe if he finds he no longer has a wife and child by living with his mamma and pappa, he'll have second thoughts and grow up.

Answer 4

I' m sorry. Dont be so hard on your self. The best of the best have yelled. if living with his parents forever is out of the question., which looks like a good idea.Pack your things, move before things get ugly. File for separtion sooner than later. that will help with support and lay down the law, so they dont take baby and not give her back. make sue you have everything in place prior to leaving. good luck and take care and

Answer 5

your not a bad mom. you are under alot of stress right now! please don't hate yourself. your baby is too young to remember what happend and even if she ( or he ) understood waht was going on they would forgive you for sure. we all make mistakes. I know you feel horrible but that shows you love your child and your truly sorry. I probably would have done the same thing. it sounds like you guys are in a huge mess and you are at the end of your rope. you need to get out for a day. have someone watch your baby and just go for a jog in the park or anything. good luck

Answer 6

Try looking in the phone book right in the first few pages and find some sort of service that could help.

or

Call a lawyer and find out what your rights are. If you want out and no money form him a judge might grant it. You could just take your baby and leave.

Answer 7

I'm a father of a two year old girl and she remembers a song i used to sing to her over an over when she was six months old i hadn't sung that song for 18 months and now recently she started sing it to me isn't that amazing. What I'm try to say is they remember and if you shout at your baby over an over it will effect them in a negative way. Don't worry too much give give your baby all your love, you are not a bad mom.

Answer 8

Sounds pretty weird to me. You guys need to find your own place. You need to have a serious discussion about this. If he still won't cut the umbilical chord (meaning he can't leave his mother), you need to pack your things and go.

As for yelling at your child. I kind of had to laugh because while you shouldn't yell at the kid, I've got news for you, there will be many times you get really aggravated with him/her as they grow up. My kids are now teenagers and I get annoyed with them from time to time and I have yelled at them. Frankly, they need to be yelled at at times.

Anyway, good luck, be strong and do what you have to do that's best for you and your child.

Answer 9

Bad case but scolding the baby is nothing wrong and you have to stop it. Cheer up and be strong. Just change yourself now and be a great mommy. Bye

Answer 10

You're in a sad situation and it is time to grow up. You're a Mom and no matter how miserable you are you need to make your child's happiness your number one priority. Begin this minute... Grow UP.