How can the choice of going to war take precedence over your kids oh and wife. He does have a choice to change, I feel guilty for suggesting him to give it up, how does that make sense? The eldest is starting to say we hardly ever see dad. I don't know what to do. When not deployed he lives on the west coast (work) we live on the east. I love him, I resent him, I am proud of him, I am jealous of him (his total independence). I just don't know.
2007-03-22 21:50:23 · 9 answers · asked by lonley heart 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
To honest with you(male point of view). I think he probably gets a little overwhelmed with being married. Being married and having kids can be real hard on a man. That's why he probably won't quit doing it. He has a easy excuse to get some freedom sometimes. I know that this answer is probably not the one your looking for but I'm keeping it real with you. He is able to have is cake and eat to. I'm not saying that he doesn't love you, just that he's like being able to get away sometimes. Good luck
2007-03-22 22:08:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the most exciting thing he's ever done.
The country is at war. He's obviously a warrior.
He's dedicated. He holds himself (and his comrades) to a higher standard than most men. You admire him, and hate him for it.
Honestly talk to him, and let him know, you are lonely and bored, and you'd rather raise your sons with a man who is not risking his life all the time.
Sounds like you emotionally disconnected 6 years ago, and had your second child to fill the void. And it didn't fill.
Read some letters from the front. There are good books out on last letters from people who got their ticket punched in the big sandbox.
Almost all of them talk about the danger, but their courage to live on, and make it home. A week later, dead.
Ask him to get a desk job at a training command here in the states, then move there.
If he refuses, he's pretty much done.
Good luck, for real. I lost my first wife to another guy who was with her while I was deployed, because she was "bored."
Good for you that you have not taken that option. If asked, I would have divorced her, to let her be with that guy.
As it was, it didn't go down well when I found out.
I later found a woman that let me be me, and her herself.
Again, good luck.
- A Military Veteran
2007-03-23 05:16:07 · answer #2 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the type of situation that leads to extramarital affair. Tell him that that you and the kids are proud of his work. But he also has some duties towards you and the kids.
Tell him he has served a preety long tenure in the force, now he should take a job that does not require him to stay away for long periods.
He can work as a firefighter, with NGO etc.. This will give him the satisfaction of contributing to the society, and also give him more time with his family.
2007-03-23 06:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably feels it's his duty to serve his country. Try to support him if he is determined to go. You dont want any bad blood between you two after he's deployed. That wouldnt be good for your mental state and is bound to rub off on the kids. Have you ever talked to him about not returning to the military in all those years? 5 times in 7 years? thats alot. I wish i could tell you better but its really up to him. Good Luck and you will continue to be a good mother no matter what!
2007-03-23 04:59:44 · answer #4 · answered by FemFatale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your pain but I am thinking he is probably the same guy you fell for. You sound as if you could use some self esteem/self confidence of your own and I don't mean another person. Good luck. I am working on my degree (going 2 community college) and I am not young. This is very rewarding though.
2007-03-23 05:00:17 · answer #5 · answered by sobergranny9702 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you marry him before or after he joined the military? I have nothing against the military, but follow me here. If you married him before he joined the military, then he is a jerk. If you married him after he joined the military, then you are a fool. Good luck and may God help those children.
2007-03-23 05:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jacques 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him about ur problem it s the best way to solve ur problem
2007-03-23 04:54:08 · answer #7 · answered by Vns 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a vibrator. Good luck
2007-03-23 04:58:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
get a butt buddy
2007-03-23 05:25:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋