my wife asked me to move out lots of times but i really want to live wit my parents forever to help them. I have a younger sis whom is 20 yr old and of course she'll get married, i also want my sis to stay wit us forever. My wife said she doesn't have privacy , my sis comes to our bedroom too much, and her bf takes our 6 mon old baby out of her sight without a word. She said she's willing let me help my family in any way I want and she'll help me too.I agree I love my family a lot and still ask for their opinion and approval on what i'm doing. I was necgliecting my wife feelings through out her pregnancy, she told me she was tired and i didn't believe her etc...she was going back and forth so her mother can take care of her. I can't move out bcus it's my responsibily to take care of my paarents. wat do u think?
2007-03-22 21:45:38 · 21 answers · asked by Calvin J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my dad is 54 and mom is 46 they both working, they can cover themselves but I still want to take care of them and they also want to live with me forever. By the way I treated my wife said"I know you don't love me, i;m staying here only bcus of my daughter and you, you said you can't live without her so i'm trying my best"
2007-03-22 22:00:36 · update #1
i'm 24. is it bcus I grew up where my dad don't love my mom? my wife told me I'm becoming like my dad.
2007-03-22 22:13:24 · update #2
We are meant to start with one family, its the family you are born into. As we grow up and older we are supposed to go out and find our own family. Start your family with your wife. You will always be part of the family you were born into. but you need to live in the family you are starting.
2007-03-22 22:01:03 · answer #1 · answered by mundo808 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I went through the exact same thing. We lived with his mother for a couple of years until she got back on her feet again. I know what she is going through. Having no privacy, having no life. I completely understand where you are coming from because if it was my mom, I would do the same thing. On the other hand, you have a family now. I know it will be hard to move out of your parents place and be on your own, but I know that is what your wife wants. She just wants you and her and your baby to have your own life and become your own family. And just because you move out doesn't mean that you can't still take care of your parents. You can always be there for them no matter what. We still are there for my mother-in-law, just at a distance. Especially after having a baby, you two need this time to become a family and bond with one another. My husband and I have been together for four years now, and we finally got a chance to be a real family a couple months ago. Thats not fair to any of you, especially for your little bundle of joy. You have a family to think of now, so do what is best for them FIRST and let everything else fall into place. I guarentee your wife will be much happier.
2007-03-22 21:59:06 · answer #2 · answered by karyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your speech is a little erratic & confusing but I can still just about get the jest of it, thank goodness!
I would really like to know why you feel the irrepressible need to look after your parents in such a determined & forceful manner though.
Are they severly disabled or elderly?
If not, you really have no reason to stay there in your parents' house.
Besides, you're married now and are raising a six month-old baby, is that correct?
Are you seriously telling me that you're all living under the same roof; your parents, your wife, your sister, her boyfriend, your child and yourself?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Please tell me you live in a castle or a mansion with several separate wings!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If not, you need to get out of there ASAP and take your wife & child with you!!!
You need your own place buddy!
This is no way to conduct a marriage!!!
How dare you put your parents and sister before your wife & child?!?
HOW DARE YOU???
If those were your intentions all along, you should NEVER have gotten married to ANYONE, do you hear?
What is wrong with you buddy?
From your question & its contents, I can tell that you're not emotionally mature enough to handle a wife & a family of your own.
But it's too late now; the damage has been done, so to speak.
The mere fact that you're still constantly looking for your parents' approval says it all, really it does.
And also the fact that you neglected your wife during her pregnancy and refused to believe her when she told you she felt tired is frankly appalling on your part!
Again, HOW DARE YOU MISTREAT YOUR WIFE LIKE THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
You certainly don't deserve her or your baby, that's obvious!
God help you buddy!
Good luck to you!
P.S. Please forgive me for asking but... how old are you exactly?
2007-03-22 22:07:33 · answer #3 · answered by Devilish Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man why did you get married if you're not ready to leave the nest? You're a daddy now, you're supposed to be out there taking care of the new branch in your family. I'm not saying you should neglect your filial obligations but you can very well still live close and visit often. From what you have said it does not sound fair for your wife to have her privacy invaded and her baby constantly "stolen". Her privates just exploded less than a year ago and now she has a screaming little flesh pile to take care of, give her a break!
2007-03-22 21:51:53 · answer #4 · answered by nemesyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think if you love her, she should come before nearly everything else, she should be understanding if you need to do something like take care of your parents, you may love your sister and all, but at 20 she should honestly be able to get her own place, and her boyfriend needs to realize the baby isn't a toy that he can play with on his fancy.
She's your wife, and in all honesty you should try to make her happy as best as you can, with some compromising here and there for both of you, but you should hold each others happyness above all in my opinion, and you shouldn't need your sister to live with you forever, I can see how that would bother your wife, she most likely just wants to start a family and live with you and your child, not you, your sister, her boyfriend, and your child.
Same way a woman wouldn't want to be married to a man who still lives with his parents, he can take care of them, but he can still have his own place.
2007-03-22 21:52:57 · answer #5 · answered by Himizu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is an understanding person as she is willing to help your family, so should you be understanding to your wife.
When two person got married, 2 become 1. You will be with your wife for the rest of your life FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, TILL DEATH DO US PART! Not parents do us part. Your parents will feel guilty if both of you break up because of them.
Your wife not only need to adapt to your family, she has to accomodate them as well. That's not an easy task as she can't voice out her unhappiness to them just as you can. Not surprisely she is unhappy.
Grow up and be a man. Make your well-deserve wife, the happiest person on earth. Give you and your wife a house where both of you feel belong and proud.
If you feel the need to look after your parents, just make sure there is a guest room and invite them over at times with the consent of your wife. And go back for dinner once a week or two.
You are responsible for your parents so are you responsible for your marriage and your children.
2007-03-22 22:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by Coco2say 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're married and have a child you ignorant dickslap. You need to grow the hell up, move out of your parent's house and start acting like a man. You can still assist your parents and not be attached to them at the hip. I'm surprised that your wife has stayed with you this long.
2007-03-22 21:49:52 · answer #7 · answered by endlessknowledge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your responsibility to take care of your wife and children. Before it is your responsibility to take care of your parents.
And I am sorry, if you dont realieze that you shouldnt of gotten married.
Your parents are just that, your parents. It was their responsibility to take care of you, just like its your responsibility to take care of your children. And you chose your wife. She should always come first. And it sounds to me like she has rightful concerns.
Most women wouldnt of married a man to move in with his parents, you should count your blessings, and work on the relationship while you still have it.
No one is saying if you move out of your parents house, you have to stop being there for them. You can still go over and mow their lawn or shovel their driveway or whatever it is that you do for them. But having your home, where your family can connect is important for any family. And making a marriage work and raising kids is hard enough as it is, not to add more people to equation.
I am sorry, but your going to have to decide between your family and your wife, and if you dont make it soon, you might lose your wife.
2007-03-22 22:00:27 · answer #8 · answered by Zenthae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel your parents and your sister are the most important, then why get married... the point of marriage is to move on with your own family, your wife and child, your parents have their own lives and so should you...
2007-03-22 22:20:44 · answer #9 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what country you live in, but in America it is not socially acceptable to live with your parents while married with child(ren). I think your wife craves Independence. I would too! Helping your parents and being dependent on them are two different things.
Your wife needs a sanctuary from this madness.. people walking into her room.. walking off with her children. My mom would have kicked my aunt's butt if she just walked into her room and took off with me or one of my siblings without permission!
If nothing else, choose your parents over your wife and child (because that makes perfect sense). o.0
2007-03-22 22:00:52 · answer #10 · answered by Nemesista 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋