Born gay. By choice or born that way?

Question

In no way shape or form am I bashing anyone on liking the same sex so lets just get that in the open. I am actually doing a study for my class and what we are trying to do is ask people their opionion or if they have any facts on weather or not they think people choose to be gay or are they actually in fact just born that way???

Once again.... this is not to bash anyone its a simple question that I think deserves some feed back.

Answer 1

Well, here's my first question - do you think straights just choose to be straights, or are they born that way? Think about it, please - I am neither joking, nor do I mean to be cruel.

I know that for me it wasn't a choice, and for most other gays I've spoken with (and there have been a LOT of others I've talked to) I've yet to meet anyone who ever claimed to have made a choice about it.

Making a realization is more like it, as it, figuring it out. Some people figure out their sexuality earlier than others. Then factor denial - because that can sometimes take a LONG time, to get over. Indeed, there are some folk who lived their entire LIVES in denial.

Some people believe it's possible to "cure" gayness, but the only thing that is changed isn't BEING gay, it's acting on those feelings by supressing them through rigorous shaming and brainwashing.

There's really only one choice a gay person has. Whether to be honest about their homosexuality, with themselves, and with others.

Now, I've also been asked - why do gay people feel it necessary to tell others at all, why not just hide it, other people don't go around talking about thier sexuality.

Well, that's not true, for one thing. Every adult goes around talking about their sexuality, they just don't view it the same way if it's about heterosexuallity. One of the first questions I'm asked when I get a job, for example, is "Are you married?"
If I just say "No, I'm not" that's the truth, yes, but it usually is accompanied by a barrage of other equally socially acceptable questions. My choices are to either avoid them, which makes me look unfriendly, and even suspicious to people, or to tell the truth.

There's also the amount of energy involved in hiding, constantly trying to censor what I say, making sure I don't use a name, or the wrong pronoun - Hiding who you are from others is exhausting.

Don't believe me? Try it, some time as an experiment.

As a matter of fact, I will give you, and even your class mates an possible project, if your teacher approves it.

Here it is:

For just THREE days, make believe that you're in love with someone you KNOW you're entire family would disown you for, that your friends would desert you if they found out - that the whole world would think less of you for. Now, pretend you really LOVE this person, you want (like all people happily and newly in love want) to talk about it. But you know you dare not.
In some places you could be beaten up for it, even killed for it, loose your job because of it..

Experience that, even for a little and ask yourself, would anyone CHOOSE that?

Answer 2

If you’re talking about guys who are 100% gay (like myself), then yes I believe I was born that way. I knew I was gay from the age of 6 and I didn’t have any choice in the matter.

Not everyone who claims to be gay is actually gay. A lot of bisexuals have a stronger attraction to men, so they identify themselves as “gay”. These people still have some part attraction to women, so in their case it’s partly choice to go with a man. Again, their bisexuality isn’t a choice, but their sexual orientation gives them more options.

Look at the answers you got to this question. The ones who claim “it’s a choice” are usually straight people. They don’t have any experience of being gay and they don’t know what they’re talking about. The others who claim it’s a choice are bisexuals and what they are saying is true for them. They are bisexuals, so they can make that choice about which sex they sleep with.

You’ll also notice that most heterosexuals discover their sexuality at puberty. I knew I was different from the age of 6, but straight people aren’t different, so there’s nothing “different” for them to notice at that age. That’s the reason they don’t understand why guys like myself knew I was gay at such a young age (years before sexually developed).

Answer 3

Ask yourself these questions: Why would anyone choose something that would make them the object of scorn and persecution for the rest of their lives. Would you choose to be beaten up or even killed because someone doesn't like who you love? Would it bother you to have ignorant people condemn you to hell because of a misinterpretation of a bible verse written three thousand years ago? Is it OK by you that if you truly love someone you can't get married to that person in most countries on Earth? If you can answer yes to all of these questions then it might be a lifestyle choice.

Answer 4

Well, many people would say that being gay is a choice, and many otyhers wil disagree and say that it is something you are born with...there is also the environmet that some people say plays a great role...i personally believe that a gay person is born gay...during the teen years of an adolescent, teens begin feeling sexual attraction towards others, staright people fantasize about the opposite sex, gay people have dreams of people of their own sex...i dont think its is a choice...its just something that you are born with, and to fight that, or try to see a shrink about it is just as plainly stupid as a staright person seeing a shrink to see why he is attracted to the opposite sex...

Answer 5

I think that it could be either way. I am a Bisexual Christian. Protestant (added for posterity's sake).

The way I view it, there are some people born without limbs, and some people born apparently perfect. Somewhere along the line, some people are born Gay. I think that the DNA might give a clue, but I do believe that is beside the point. It's evidence of our sin nature that makes it so.

I think, to fill in another part of what I said, that some people are influenced by their environment. The home in childhood could have had an effect on the child that was sexualized, but it needn't be, just some sort of behavior was learned perhaps at an instant.

I could have been born the way I am. I can't be sure. My home atmosphere was definitely sexualize, my father was a molester of my brother and my sister, and he tried it on me. So whatever I was supposed to be is lost in that bit of confusion. I was corrupted, if you get my meaning, for the experiment.

Answer 6

For me it is a choice, for my girlfriend, she said she was born gay. When I met her, I was so attracted to her I could not stay away from her. I had never been with a woman before. It did not seem unusual to me. I think I would have felt the same with about her is she were male. It is really the person I fell in love with, not the gender. My g/f says she has never liked being with men.

Answer 7

I was born as gay since I was 4 years old I already get attracted to men. I didn't choose to be gay at all.

Answer 8

I know I'll probably get hate mail for this (As long as I don't get hate 'male" I'll be fine.), but I don't care. I choose to be more gay than I am by nature. I know I'm bisexual, but I still kinda reject the straight part of my sexuality. I think that everyone has their own sexuality that develops from nature, but their upbringing determines their expression of it somewhat.

Answer 9

well i can honestly say....i was definitely born gay!!!
i mean why would people choose something like that????its not easy being gay,not with all the bigots,homophobes around!!!!!
the only thing i chose was to embrace the fact that im gay!!!!!why do i have to be unhappy pretending im something im not when i can be happy and accept who and what i am!!!

Answer 10

there are 2 types of gay:
1) naturally born gay
2) choose to be gay because of influnce from the surroundings (usually bisexuals)
hope i answered your question!!