Can you pls help me to come out of this ?

Question

Hi , I am 24 yrs old female and have no one other that my mom i this world. I feel very upset these days for no reason. I cannot even dream or think postive about myself and i do not think anything can make me happy.I feel myself to be very lonely. I have a job as an HR Executive in a pvt software company but i do not see any stability in my carrer. I am not able to trust myself or anyone these days.
It is very hard to see my mom struggle to get me married as i am not good looking and it is impossible to get me married. I feel miserable about my life. I cannot discuss this with anyone whom i know because i know they will make fun of me. I am sometimes very scared to think that how i will be when i have to lead my life all alone without anyone with me. I want u to pls let me know the ways how i can come out of this fear of living alone and give some confidence before i loose it completely. Pls fo not make fun of my question

Answer 1

First of all, you NEVER have to be alone. If you are terribly uncomfortable around men, get a dog! You'd be surprised how much joy you can have just by knowing that someone will be waiting for you at the door when you return home from work. Dogs are great conversation pieces too. Take Fido out for a walk and you may have the opportunity to meet a fellow dog walker that just happens to be in a similar situation to that of your own.

If that idea doesn't do it for you, then try to improve your looks to a point that makes you feel attractive and comfortable with yourself. Contrary to popular belief, men are not attracted as much to beauty as they are to brains. It sounds as if you are a highly intelligent woman. As soon as you learn to recognize your good points rather than dwelling on the bad, you'll open up a whole new world. Men can "smell" desperation. You need to just forget about them and learn to be happy with yourself first. Soon after you finally decide you don't need a man in your life, you'll be turning them away at the door. Guys always want what they can't easily have. A confident woman is the ultimate challenge and they can't resist the urge to conquer it.

As a sidenote, have you seen a doctor about the possibility of depression? It is a treatable condition that many don't even realize they have. It might be worth your time to check it out.

P.S.: Regardless of what you may have been told by some mean-spirited person in your past, it is NOT impossible for you to meet a man, fall in love and have a family. Dream it. Live it!

Answer 2

It appears as though you are feeling helpless and already alone. Having been in your shoes myself to some extent, I will answer based on my personal experience...

First, have you actually sat down with your mother and talked to her about how you feel she's trying to push you into marriage? Sometimes mothers don't realize how they can make us feel when their actions are coming from what they feel are the best intentions for us.

Second, do you still live at home? If so, perhaps you could plan for and set a date to move out on your own. I know, it's a big step and you'll physically be on your own but once accomplished, you'll boost your self esteem and self confidence

Third, (and one you may want to take into consideration when planning for your own place), do you own a pet? Not only are they wonderful companions, they are scientifically known to reduce stress levels in humans. Plus not only will they keep you company and love you unconditionally, it'll give you something else to focus on besides yourself. An added benefit could be possibly meeting other people that own similar pets like while out on a walk, at the vets or the park.

Another option, if a pet isn't feasible, would be a hobby of some sort. Even if you don't have one now has any thought entered your mind about any interest at all you may have in an area? If so, check out those interests in the phone book, on the internet, or even with your Chamber of Commerce. Finding an outside interest in anything is better than dwelling on your situation as it is now.

Last, as Claudia suggested, see a therapist if you don't find any of the above works for you. It's worth the investment. BTW, NO ONE is ugly!!! We can only be the best we can be! I believe in you!!

Answer 3

Well just do not dwell on the situation because you can make a mole hill into a mountain and it will overwhelm you so you will not be able to do anything eventually, It will also interfer with your job. Just tell your Mom, lets not be concerned about me getting married, and definately do not think of living alone until it happens. There are 4 strong fears that get hold of people. Fear of the unkown (thats a big one these days) fear of dying, fear of failure, and fear of man, and there are smaller fears that generate from those. Take one day at a time and count your blessings that you have a Mom and a job and other things. Also remember that God loves you and will help you if you ask Him. I am here if you want to talk.

Answer 4

Sorry you feel the way you do. But you already have the answer. Confidence. No one can give you confidence, you have to build it yourself. Pick something small like planting a herb garden, learn all you can about horticulture and do it. Let your confidence grow as your parsley grows. Then move on to more challenging goals and objectives. Don't worry about living alone. As you become more confident in yourself, people will naturally gravitate towards you. Look around and meet people. There in always someone who is a match for you. Avoid the destructive, demeaning people, they are just insecure twits that have to bring you down to make themselves feel better. You might benefit from seeing a therapist.

Answer 5

Haha, no we dont have steel detectors, video cameras and so on in our university. Nor do now we have defense. I believe Bill Kaulitz is sizzling ~ MY MAN =D, i might think as ive been stalked. You wish to think that your capable to visit university with out regularly being on tape, or any one looking you. Even even though it is only university alot of persons might nonetheless wish a few privateness. What if that they had cameras within the bathrooms? Freaky : And additionally with steel detectors, i dont get the factor of that. No one within the proper brain might deliver anything like a gun to university, and for the few that experience and been at the information, good theres not anything we would have performed approximately it. If someone university is that 'tight' approximately defense and many others, then possibly there may be anything they are able to do then making the youngsters think stalked. And no it wouldnt make me think more secure, simply considering a few cameras or and so on are established, anything dangerous can nonetheless occur to you. And our university for illustration is beautiful trustworthy, they lock the bathrooms and recess and lunch so that you must use the employees ones in case you ought to pass in bewteen magnificence. They will violate prosucters or what ever its known as if they arrive into our university, they lock all of the gates so no person can are available. The best front is close the workplace. They even have lecturers on backyard obligation. So what i've now makes me think beautiful trustworthy, then all this 'defense' stuff. Hope i helped. Haha, sorry its alot approximately my opinion. =D

Answer 6

Sounds like you have a good job with benefits and your still quite young. It also sounds like your battling with depression. I'd STRONGLY suggest you take some time and work on the depression with a good professional, don't just settle, find someone good!!!!!

Your life will not magically change when you get married and believe everything will be wonderful. You'll still be holding on to your baggage and then have to incorporate your life with someone else; it will only compound the problems. It seems trite but when you feel better about yourself on the inside you will look better to everyone on the out side. Good luck

Answer 7

You are as beautiful as you think. With modem science and cosmetics, there is no ugly woman but there is lazy woman.

Men are attracted to women with confidence. You need to build your confidence up. Read more. Learn that you are not the only one in this world with problems.

I ever saw a woman born without hands and yet she is happily married to a man who love her. The TV crew was filming her taking care of her baby and laundry by herself (with legs only).
You are alot better than her. If she can do it, you can as well. Read more books on handling people, increasing self esteem and how to be happy.

Answer 8

your too self involved.

you got a good job and a mother who is alive that loves you.

you need to get out and help people who really have it bad.

if all you worry about is yourself then yes you will feel sorry for yourself. the nightly news has not mentioned you yet so the world must not revolve around you.

i practice tough love when necessary. if you see a child reaching at a lit stove you will grab their hand and possibly slap it because that is better than third degree burns. same thing here, you have something to give to the world and if you are whining around feeling sorry for your self you are not letting your light shine on the world.

get it together.

Answer 9

do you have any brothers, sisters, cousins, or other relatives that you know well that could possibly take you out once in a while? maybe if your mom stopped pressuring you into getting married, you would be more comfortable with yourself. talk to a coworker, your boss, or anyone that you are remotely familiar with. if you feel that this is not possible, try a therapist. that's what they're there for. to help you.

good luck. :)