Should I have this baby?

Question

I am 19 and in college. Im attending a pretty prestigious school and my parents value my education. I JUST found out that I am pregnant. My boyfriend wants me to have the baby. I have been with him for 2 yrs. I live on campus and after school I still live at home. My parents pay for all of my expenses, but I work in the summer. My parents have six other children, but we are wealthy. My mom always told me that if I got pregnant that my parents would support me she always says "There are worse things that could happen then getting pregnant" I want to continue my education.. I want to become a kindergarten teacher. What should I do?

Answer 1

KEEP THAT BABY! Having a baby is a wonderful thing, especially with the love and support of so many people. I can't think of a better way to raise a child. As for your dreams, they can still happen. It will be difficult, but its possible if you don't give up. And in a few years, when all is said and done, when your schooling is done, you have a good career, and your child is about 3 years old and loves you to pieces you'll be sick at the thought of knowing you were thinking of giving him/her up or aborting him/her, and all the love you would have missed. But ultimately, its your decision. Just think long and hard about it. Good luck! :)

Answer 2

I am sorry to hear your story but wanted to tell you mine and maybe give you a different perspective. Although I am a 21 a little older than you I got pregnant when I was 20 and just ad my beautiful daughter 6 weeks ago. When I found out I was pregnant I was terrified I have no college education and was a waitress at a local bar and grill. Basically a dead end job! My boyfriend and I had bee together a little over three years and lived in trailer. I was so affraid of what everyone would say about us not being married I come from a pretty religious family and new they would have something negative to say. On top of that my boyfriend and I had agreed that we did not want children. Moral of the story it made me get my life going I got a new awesome job we sold our trailer and bought a house and we got married! My daughter is the best thing in the world and I am sooo glad she happened as will you be. You should feel blessed that you have a boyfriend that is going to stick by your side and you already know your family will be there. These things happen for a reason. Plus for someone wanting to be a kindergarden teacher you must have a soft spot for children. This isnt something to waste tears over everything will be alright it always works out. I dont think you need us to tell you what to do you sound like a smart women just be happy a child is a beautiful gift. Remember God would never give you more than you could handle. Good luck to you I hope you make the right choice.

Answer 3

This is a choice that you are really going to have to think about yourself. You have to look deep within. I can say though that if you are going to base it off education, it is very possible to still go to school and have a child. Especially since you have the support to do so. I was in your situation. I had 2 kids already and through a failed birth control method I got pregnant with my third. I was set to go to nursing school. I actually went to the clinic to have an abortion but then left. Best decision I ever made. I love my baby so much and I am so glad that I chose to leave. I am in nursing school now and my life is no where as difficult as I imagined it would be. And I didn't have financial support as you do. Knowing what I know now, I would have aborted my baby for a reason that I now know is possible. So don't base it on your education. You can do it. But like I said it's a decision only you can make. I don't know if you are religious or not but I had the same mentality as you about my education and i was told that yes one door was shut, but God opened up another. It may have taken a little time but it was well worth it in my situation. So really think about it.

Answer 4

You should DEFINITELY have the child! If you want to become a kindergarten teacher, you must love children...I understand that you might be scared of the changes having a child can create in your life, and that you might be scared that you will not be able to finish school....but I have seen people succeed financially and in their career while being parents! A friend of mine got pregnant, the father ran off, with a little help she became a dance teacher, and now she works full time and met a wonderful man and together they have a town house and another child on the way. ANYTHING is possible...if you want it bad enough. Also, don't forget, you have a lot of support it sounds like already, and like your parents said, worse things could happen. The dad could have ran off right away, you could have no support from others, you could be broke and on the streets and pregnant.. the list goes on. Enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy your child once he or she arrives!! Children are so precious!!

Answer 5

I had a similar situation, except I am older (30). I had gone back to school and was doing great and then became pregnant. During the begining of the pregnancy I was overwhelmingl exausted (I also was working 14 hour night shifts at the time), and I ended up dropping out that semester. THe next semester I felt great and went back. THe only problem was I was due around finals. I ended up having my baby litterally while one of my finals was in progress (I was long in the hospital by that point, but still). I took incompletes in those classes and was able to make up my finals later on after I recovered. Now things are back to normal. Our family helps us out alot and I am back in school.

Ultimately this is your decision. It sounds like you have a tremendous support system and a devoted boyfriend. I think you would be fine to have the baby and continue with your goals as well. Look into support groups in your area, or start your own. My college jsut started a school sactioned club (like honors or psych or whatever) for single (ie not married) parents who are students. I'm sure you are not the only one in your school.

Good luck

Answer 6

YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR BABY. Well there is really no reason for you not to have your baby, you have a wonderful family that supports you. I don't understand why you want to be a kindergarten teacher if you want to abort your own child, it is kind of ironic don't you think? Just because you are pregnant it dones't mean that it is the end of the world! You can still go to school and be a mother at the same time. Yes, it will be a little bit harder, but with your families support it wont be as hard. I hope you make the right decision.

Answer 7

I think you should have your baby. I say this because I have a five month old now, and she is the greatest joy of my life. I am a single mother and became pregnant soon after graduating from college (and right before attempting to further my schooling and career goals). It has been a difficult road, and my pregnancy was hard, both physically, emotionally and financially. I was very ill a few times during the pregnancy, and it also came as a huge shock and in some ways I feel I was pretty harshly judged for it, by myself and others. But even after all of this, it is sooo worth it. Yes, it changes your life, and there are some things that will need to be put on hold or done differently once you have a baby. I was planning on attending nursing school this year, and I am going to have to wait to do that...but I feel it will work out eventually. Lots of single moms go to school...and as an older, wise friend of mine said, sometimes having a child can actually give one more motivation to pursue and complete goals in life (like school or a career). I have also been concerned about finances, but somehow, someway, God has always provided for us. The first few months were hard, and I did need a lot of help learning how to care for a baby; I'm glad to hear that your family will be supportive and that you'll probably have some help available (and hopefully your boyfriend will help out a lot too, since he's saying he wants this baby and should step up). I can understand "Ray G" (previous post above) playing "devil's advocate" to a point. But what he is not realizing, and what is hard to realize when you are unexpectedly pregnant and scared, is that there truly are such gigantic blessings and joys that come with having a child, and that it really is worth the sacrifices. In my opinion, as much as you may be "giving up" to be a mother, you would be depriving yourself of much more if you decide not to be. Yes, it makes life more complicated, expensive, and sometimes difficult. But it also makes it so much more purposeful, loving, fun, and joyous on a daily basis. Trust me. I thought about having an abortion but I praise God that I did not. I know there will be difficult times to come, but I know that I can also look forward to a ton of joy, smiles, and happiness in watching my own little baby grow. It is an experience that you don't want to miss. College is great, vacations are great, free time and leisure are great, don't get me wrong. But they are not as great as getting to know your child. I feel that I have already learned more about life (and appreciating life) in five months of parenthood than in four years of college. God bless you.

Answer 8

Honestly, this decision is completely up to you and you shouldnt come on here cause there are some really stupid people who will try making you feel guilty for even considering not keeping the baby.
Your situation actually resembles mine a lot. You are obviously in a better situation than many people since both your boyfriend AND your parents would be supportive of you should you have this baby. And you're also in a good financial situation which is definitely a plus. My advice would be to go ahead and have the baby! Definitely definitely finish school though.. but you sound like a smart person, i dont need to be telling you this :)

Good Luck!

Answer 9

Tough decision. Kids are hard work and a lifelong committment.

You have the rest of your life to go back to school but in saying that you dont want to be begrudging your child for all the things you missed out on.

Termination is a serious thing and it is a decision you will have to live with for the rest of your life - something to consider - obvisouly you love kids if you want to be a teacher so are you really able to accept not having the baby unless you put it up for adoption.

At 19 having kids was the last thing that i wanted - i just had my first 5 weeks ago and i am 32. Whatever you decide good luck

Answer 10

Have the baby. You could still go to school and continue your education. Things might take a little longer but you will get there. Sounds like you have a great support system, and that your parents would help. Talk to them and let them know...see what they say. I would hate to see you not have the baby and regret it later. Babies are the sweetest joy that life can bring. Hang in there. Everything will turn out okay.