What could help a person to slowly dissolve negative mental factors, which cause suffering in life?

Question

Today I was asked by a person the following question. "What can I do? The problems I have just seem to be so deep with in my soul I don't know where to start. There are so many issues, I feel overwhelmed and do not know how to deal with this without help".
I indeed can relate myself to what this person told me. I received here in yahoo a fantastic answer for a question. Part of it was the following: "As we slowly learn to focus on the inside of ourselves, looking within, to slowly dissolve our negative mental factors which "cause" our dissatisfactions/sufferings in life, we will learn how to unconditionally love all people, without having selfish, conditional attachments to them."
I indeed feel that this is so true, but would like to know if somebody has some practical ideas how to support this process?

Thanks guys and girls! I really appreciate your effort. Still I as such told this already to my friend, what I read here and he told me that he now wants to see a psychologist. (No, this friend is not myself, but really just a friend)

Answer 1

I totally agree with the first part of your quote, "..focus on the inside...looking within...dissolve negative...factors..." Unless your friend is clinically depressed, NO ONE can truly help him but himself. I've so often seen people "fall into sinkholes" & hope/wish/expect someone to help them. Sifting out negatives, focusing on postives, (everyone has SOME positives in their lives!) isn't really difficult at all. I've had people comment on how they can't comprehend, with all the constant adversities I've been experiencing for some years, that I'm not "overwhelmed"--in fact, a couple of friends have teased me about the little guy in the cartoon, Lil Abner? who walked around with a black cloud over his head. Well, gosh, I don't see a black cloud! I see LIFE. I know, absolutely, that we have a choice of bringing everything into harmony, of ATTITUDE. "Worrying" at problems only compounds them. Solve them. Fight them if you have to! But keep a balance of the things that give you pleasure. You're a "good" person to care about your friend. He needs some persepctive, & I believe he's the only one who can find it. Unless I'm actively working on resolving a problem, I PUT IT OUT OF MY HEAD. & deal with ONE issue at a time. If I thought about ALL the urgent things I need to do, I'd probably hang myself.

Answer 2

Easier said than done. But forgiveness is the tool. And if you can't forgive, then not dwelling on the issues that are making you suffer.

Keeping yourself busy,busy, busy. Concentrating on what you are doing at any particular time. Setting goals to achieve, so that your goals become the center of your attention, and concentration. The more goals you achieve the better you will feel about yourself, and in time those negative thoughts will dissipate from your mind. Not totally but eventually. As the saying goes, "time heals all wounds"

Another thought came to my mind. Start projects, do volunteer work, go to hospitals, or nursing homes. Ask the nurses on the floor which patients do not have visitors. Not only will you be busy but you will see how others have it worse. And you will be able to put your sufferings into its proper perspective. There is a saying "if all people would put their package of troubles on a shelf, each person would take back their own package of troubles"

Answer 3

"As we slowly learn to focus on the inside of ourselves, looking within, to slowly dissolve our negative mental factors which "cause" our dissatisfactions/sufferings in life, we will learn how to unconditionally love all people, without having selfish, conditional attachments to them."

This does align with many core eastern philosophies and I know it to be a personal truth. I also know there are many truths posted here in answer to your question, but often when darkeness surrounds us, it makes it impossible to see the light.

Start with the gross body, physical exercise, nutrition etc. fake it till you make it if you will.... if thats the energy you send out it will come back to you.

It's sometimes easier if you have someone who has your back... but it can be done alone (friend, counsellor, coach etc)

Now take a look at all the items you have piled up in the big dark ugly negative pile, and pick them up one at a time...

1) see your problems for what they are
2) learn from it if you can
3) forgive
4) then throw it away.
5) repeat

With time... the darkness gets less and that leaves room for the light....

~ Namaste

Answer 4

Let's try to look at this in a black and white invironment. Do you know anyone who perfectly lives in this unselfish eutopian mindset? Even if you don't you somehow know this is best. Right?
I am a religion major, and have a good understanding of natural science, enough to challenge any geologist with simple observations. What I am getting at is, there is no way we are evolved. We were created, and this eutopian dream was our initial destany. The only way this dream can come true and even be practical, is by understanding our creation, and our relevance in our existance. I won't go on, unless I think you can handle what I have to say. If you think I am fony, test me with any related question, and I'll do my best to resolve any barriers that are bound to exist. :) Life can be happily simple if you let it be what it was meant to be. Sorry I can't answer all your question right now and here, but it wouldn't be worth it for me if it wasn't of interest to you. So, let me know.

Answer 5

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy. It was developed for borderline personalities but can easily be used, in part or in whole, for anyone who wants to learn to change how they think to improve their lives.

The 3 basic concepts are Mindfulness, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness.

Mindfulness teaches us to "live in the moment" and focus our attention entirely onto whatever we are doing at any one time. This could be anything from simply breathing, to experiencing an emotion, to building a particle accelerator. It teaches us to be calm, focused, and not distracted by unwanted outside influences, our own thoughts, concerns, worries, or wandering minds, as well as our natural tendency to question ourselves.

Emotion Regulation focuses on learning how to experience our emotions rather than bottling them up or calling them wrong so that they do not become overwhelming.

Interpersonal Effectiveness teaches us how to better approach our relationships with others in order to give them what they need and us what we need.

Anyone can study any aspect of DBT and find something to gain from it. I think, especially in this era where we all rush around and worry, Mindfulness can be of use to anyone. People who feel overwhelmed by their emotions can certainly benefit from Emotion Regulation. While people who have more difficulty in expressing themselves around, or interacting with other people can get most help from interpersonal Effectiveness. Still, I think we can all learn at least a little from each.

Answer 6

It's been said that "life is a self fulfilling prophecy"

What that means is that how you view yourself and your situation in this life is usually how you steer the events of your life to create.
If you continually focus on the negative aspects of things, then you will entrench yourself in that world.
Look around you for someone who you feel is a positive thinker, watch his or her activities and thought patterns to see what you can learn and emulate.
Read about some successful people and how they did it.
Create an image of yourself being who you want and doing what you want to do and hold it, seeing it every day.
Take one small step every day toward this goal and see where you are in a few months.

Answer 7

I think it's constructive to not give a voice to your 'problems'. You need to never listen to them as if they are capable of reasoning with you for thier existence. In the NHL, goalies are taught to use mental strategies to avoid the negative effects of letting in a goal. Some of them imagine thier negative feelings being destroyed by lasers or washed away by waves etc. As soon as negative feelings arise they deal with them using prepared mental strategies. The key is to not let them take root and eat away at you.

Answer 8

Go for a long, long walk. Get laid. Get in a fight. Wrestle someone. Climb a tree. Do as many pushups as you can in an hour. Laugh at your foolishness. Laugh at someone else's foolishness. Run and jump. Climb a mountain. Kiss somebody. Hug somebody. Play with a dog. Live!

Answer 9

I read a lot of Zen and bhagavad Gita and stuff in college and it was very helpful for controlling anger, seeing my place int he world, etc...

Now I'm a nihilist, but all of the eastern philo (NOT religion) was very helpful.

Answer 10

Basically put, what you focus on expands. Focus only on positivity to attract more of it, and use negative experience only as motivation, and as contrast to find what it is you're wanting.