if you and your spouse never cheated on each other, have not filed for divorce, no addiction to drugs or alcohol, no physical or emotional abuse, no kids, both have no interest in other people, but married life is not what you expected it to be, we are married for 2 years now, how did you both know that your marriage was over and it was time to end it, when is love just not enough?
2007-03-22 18:15:12 · 9 answers · asked by Nina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage is a life partnership. Remember your vows.....in good times and in bad....richer or poorer...sickness and in health......... It's called BEING THERE. If you are there for one another and you love each other.... this is marriage.
Blame fairytales, romantic movies, media, whatever ..... real marriage is not like that.
However, like any relationship, marriage is work. People argue all the time and say "it shouldn't be this much work." I argue the opposite. If you want to be together, you put in the marriage what you want out of it. When it's not a two-way street and reciprocal, then you have other issues.
Do you share hobbies, like interests? Do you have core family and ethical values? What do you do for fun? You need to look at that.
Instead of looking at each other as some burden or roommate, look at the basic foundation of the relationship, which should be a friendship. Do you do things with your friend? Go places? Work on projects? Share dreams? Laugh? Do you solve problems together? Watch games? Go for walks? ETC.?
I'm not saying it has to be 'romantic' all the time, but doing basic things together, spending time together (quality time), is key. Liking each other, not just loving each other is part of the equation.
Love is a gift. If you two share that, your marriage is not over. If you need spark or excitement in your relationship, that's up to you to decide and execute. But bottom-line, if you have love and good communication, the marriage has a good base. Now it's just time to make your life partnership fun and exciting.
You have the best thing - loyalty, faithfulness, love and trust. That's a heck of a lot more than most people have. Build on it! :) Good luck!
2007-03-22 18:31:25 · answer #1 · answered by The Answer Monster 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No two people in a committed relationship decide at the same time that love is not enough and want out. Usually one has to present to the other their dissatisfaction with the marriage. This usually occurs in a long term marriage, but can happen at any time, when the drip, drip, drip and erosion have become too much and ending it is the only way to regain some form of happiness in their life. It's very sad but it is also a sign both parties have integrity and need not lie and cheat to get their point across.
2007-03-22 18:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's over from reading your description. You seem like you have one foot out the door and have been mulling this over for the last two years. You come here looking for validation at this point because you've already made your mind up.
Try to separate for awhile and see how that goes. If after a year you still feel the same, do the divorce or get back together.
2007-03-22 18:32:16 · answer #3 · answered by Tadow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you two need to put some zest back in to things. Go out, date..do the things you enjoyed doing together before you got married. Most important of all, COMMUNICATE!!! Marriage is meant to be a lifetime commitment, and so far it sounds like you just need a kick to keep it going. Relationships are not always fun and roses and romance..They require a lot of hard work, compromise and effort. If you still love your significant other, and they are still in love with you...there is hope yet. Don't let a case of boredom ruin what might be an amazing future.
2007-03-22 18:29:19 · answer #4 · answered by Ivy Pandora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're in love with the concept of love or the concept of marriage in general. My advice is to pray and ask for guidance in this matter......then keep your eyes and ears and spirit open for answers. Don't feel bad about telling God your disappointed feelings...He knows already and can help you work through it all. Just don't make any quick and angry decisions...think and pray...then act on what your heart and spirit are telling you.
Good Luck and God Bless
2007-03-22 18:33:26 · answer #5 · answered by EvelynMine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you two sound like a boring couple that do anything to stimulate each other. Was planning the wedding the only excitement you had. If it was you got married for the wrong reasons.
2007-03-22 18:22:32 · answer #6 · answered by another journey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a sad realisation to come to when yu realise Love is not enough. If you have tried for a long time all these good people suggest about sepnding time together etc and your still not happy, if you cant talk about problems and they never get solved. If you have tired marraige counselling and still no change then its enough.
2007-03-22 18:59:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you can look at them and not see any future.
2007-03-22 18:24:07 · answer #8 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he does not hold my hand when I go to sleep then it is over for me.
2007-03-22 18:24:26 · answer #9 · answered by ubon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋