Whats should i do about my wife's male friend that she calls all day long...?

Question

she calls this guy all day long she says there just friends nothing happn and he was there for her when she was pissed off at me for not spending time with her but she goes to the clubs works a 2nd job just to buy clothes and tells me i never make time for her also when she comes home she says she tired but when the phone rings she o.k. to talk but doesn't talk to me laying right next to her in bed and always has to run eronds by herself but i found his number after i went through her phone and called him myself and he says they slept together and he has feelings for her who should i belive her or him? and his story sounds untrue but she was seeing this guy behind my back and was upset at me when i found out and confronted her and everytime shes not around me shes calling him. i asked her to stop contact with him and she said she needed time to think about it.i'm tryin to keep my family together but shes not tryin like she should what way should i turn i wanna raise my girl right

Answer 1

Pt32: She's cheating. And you know that. Re-read your own question It is obvious. The only part that really bothers me is that you have a daughter. Your wife is not being fair. Request that she enter counseling with you. You might not be able to save this marriage but at least you can work out a relationship that may be best for your daughter. The only way to hold onto a relationship is to let it go. My thoughts will be with you - I wish you the best -k-

Answer 2

It is easy to be suspicious if you feel insecure or tired. If she has cheated before however, you have a good reason to be more suspicious than otherwise, and it is fair to include this information in your judgement. I do not think you will find the answer out by asking either her or him. It sounds to me like you and your wife are not that close right now. If she is cheating then your family is already broken.

Here are the options I would consider:
1. Try and do something different - she may be bored with you and if you start charming her again, like when you first met, it may restart the sparks. Take her to do the things that got you interested in each other in the first place. Turning the tv off is a good start, even if it is a movie instead, it is something. Get her feeling like you are a family and that you are giving her the special attention so she does not have to look for excitement elsewhere.

2. You may wish to hire a private investigator or install a phone tap. It is a big step but would give you proof either way. If she is not cheating then it could backfire, as she would pretty much resent it.

Answer 3

i hate to be the one to say this but i would believe the guy. first of all you said she was sleeping with him before, second why would she wait to call him when your not there, third i think she wants to talk to him when your not around that way you cant accidently overhear something. and she may be lying to you because shes afraid she cant make it on her own. and i would say all those times she says shes alone shes not. i learned the hard way from my EX and he played the game real well. till i started hitting redial on our phone, calling him to see where he was at and we would suposedly be in the same spot on freeway going home but yet hed get home 2 hours later. i know you want to keep your family together but you have to ask yourself are you willing to put up with her cheating to keep it together or go your own way and just be a father to your daughter. you know my daughter knew what her father was doing she was 12 then and now 21. she has never forgot it, yes she forgave him cause he is her father. but she has no trust in men at all now. i have had her in counseling and all. if i knew then what i know now i would have left him alot sooner. anyway you can only do whats in your heart. i would tell her what this guy said to her, tell her if she talks to him again your done. just put your foot down. oh yes i need to add this too. if she is working a 2nd job and it is to buy new clothes, have you seen her pay stub or the clothes? if so she sounds too materalistic you can find someone who wants to spend time with you and money not being a big issue. best of luck to you :)

Answer 4

Oh snap u have a problem with this he seriously told u that they slept together that's messed up. You should believe who ever you want it's Ur choice. U should sit down with her and tell her how u feel because then maybe she will consider not talking to him anymore. If that doesn't work not saying u guys should have a divorce but i consider it because this is ridiculous what she is doing to u. She needs to stop and if that doesn't work tell her she can email me or messenger me and we will talk about it. I'm trying to help u out this is not right. And she shouldn't be blaming you she should be blaming herself for what she is doing. I am only 12 no lie going on 13.

Answer 5

Sorry to hear about your wife's blatant infidelity!
You don't want to face the fact that she is and has been cheating on you. Get yourself a lawyer right away and file for separation. You will be SO much happier when you are free to find somebody else who actually respects, loves, and appreciates you. This stress you're feeling will go away fast! All that talk about marriage counseling is absolute bunk in your case! I KNOW, I'VE BEEN THROUGH IT! Don't involve your daughter in your marital problems. Always be there for her, and remain the strong father she will need you to be, ESPECIALLY after she experiences this ordeal! You need to move on from the wife!
Good Luck!

Answer 6

You have to sac up and move on your marriage is over. The kids are victims, same as you but sometimes life sucks. The longer you stay in the relationship, the worse it's going to get. It was over for her long before she started the affair with the other guy, women detact emotionally long before they physically destroy your world. It's not your fault, all men are slow on the uptake in situations like that. I don't know what killed your marriage, but it's dead. Time to move on, get a lawyer, give the cheating slut her half of your soul, and hope the future is kinder than what you have been used to.

There is no kinder gentler way of telling you the truth.

Answer 7

I have never known counseling to really help anyone I know.
Seek out a good reputable attorney and I'm sure you know
what is next.
If I understood you right, there is a daughter involved in this,
put her first in any decisions but, Don't let her be the reason
for staying.
It will do her more harm than good.
I wish you the very best and hope things work out for you.

Answer 8

If she won't see a marriage counselor with you to at least start working on this severe problem, see a divorce counselor now.
Even in marriage counseling, if that fails, you will have a better understanding of how 'over' the marriage is and it might make the whole divorce procedure easier for you to deal with.
I say this because you talk about your child ('my girl'); otherwise I'd say, quickie divorce the sooner the better.

Answer 9

don't fall for any of that crap...from a women point of view she is cheating and is done with you.....sorry but that's what I would do and the way I would do it,,,,she is unhappy at home...oh not all the way you provide fr her I take it....you give her some things that she must be happy with...or she is not trying to hurt the girls....sorry but either way you look at this it is gonna hurt them...seeing mom and dad not together is real hard on them and then when you are together seeing the way you act together is hard on them...so ask your self what is better for them..I would say take your wife out to a great dinner and really talk about it...things like ....are we done? I mean I see this and that ..don't point fingers just talk about it....not well you this and you that....Hun we both know this is falling apart...do we work on it or is it time to go are separate ways......I mean really talk about it....like you did before yo married each other.........good luck and let me know.....GOD BLESS,,,,,TTYL

Answer 10

1st off im really sorry that you are going through this ordeal and i would not wish this even on sworn enemies. (not that i have any) anyways i could mail you that maxim magazine with fergie on the cover. i know you would not want to hear this but she is cheating on you. and i know you love her & thats why you want to make it work. and you mentioned you want to raise your baby girl right and if this woman is putting you through all this you should let go of her despite it being hard and hurtful and get a new woman who will be a great influence on her. think about this one. the main person is your little girl. try to work this out for the little girls sake but also do whats best for her and even you deserve better than that. best wishes man. i for sure feel for you.