is college a good choice for my husband?

Question

my husband wants to attend our local community college to get a bussines degree. I support him all the way and want him to get a better career, instead of a dead end job that pays nothing. The thing is he is border line mentally challenged. He has a bad speech problem, he can read and learn quickly. He has lots of problems spelling, but i have worked with him a lot over the last year. When he went to sign up for college the special needs counselor said college wasn't for him. The college has a policy called "right to try". He was so embarresed about what that lady said, that he won't even consider going back after a year of getting some help. He has been tested over the last 6 months and his doctor said he could go to college.The doctor said it may be hard, but give it a try. I don't know how to talk him in on going back up to the college, he fears that lady will say something to make him feel dumb again. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I really need to give you an honest answer to your question. This is because no one answered your question.
The question is; "Is college a good choice for your husband?"
Even if your husband did not have learning disabilities or other medical problems, I would say, "NO, a Junior college program in business is not a good use of time and money, both of which are valuable resources."
The business degree is too general, there are too many other people unemployed with general business degrees and the junior colleges are not respected.
Now if he was going to spend the 2 years improving his background in mathematics and science in preparation for computer science or engineering, then I would say, by all means, go ahead.

And I agree with all of the other answerers, you are to be applauded for your support and good efforts, your husband is to be applauded for his strength, courage and determination.

Answer 2

My first suggestion is to call the college and arrange a meeting with the counselor's superior. Sit down and write a letter, put everything in it, the date of your husband's visit, what he was told, how it discouraged him etc. This may start out as a very emotional exercise - that's ok. Get everything into the letter then edit it. Organize the information and make it sound calm and professional.

Mail the letter to the person with whom you will be meeting. This will set the tone for the meeting and let everyone involved know what topics need to be covered. There will be no reason for answers like "I will have to look into that and get back to you."

Your husband needs to decide if he really wants to go to college. It is a HUGE step for anyone and especially so for someone who has been out of school for a while. He has an idea of how much work it would be for him to take this on now. He may have other reasons for not wanting to go to school. I say this because if he truly, truly wants to do this he will just have to deal with the embarrassment until he gets over it.

If he chooses to go to college here are a few things to remember:

1. It is in NO WAY as difficult as the counselor tried to scare him into thinking.

2. Each course he takes will prepare him for the next. He will not take Algebra until he takes Business Math or Basic Math and then Pre-Algebra... make sense?

3. There are tutorial labs available at practically all hours where advanced students assist beginning students.

4. Community College profs. are great! They tend to get much more involved with their students than at larger colleges/universities. They set up office hours and expect their students to visit. If you keep them updated when you are struggling or expect to have problems they will really (most of the time) go out of their way to help you meet the goals.

5. I am not just saying all this because I teach at a community college. Honest.

My last suggestion is to look in to The Americans with Disabilities Act http://www.dbtac.vcu.edu/ar/public.aspx. This is just one link I found, it may be helpful (or not) but I hope so!

Good Luck!

Jen

Answer 3

I'm 44 yrs old.I started college last month.I was afraid people would make fun of me.I'm older then the teachers.I graduated high school in 1981 before computers.I'm going to a small college I love it.I have a tutor who's 18 yrs old.Everybody knows everybody and is friendly.The biggest thing I had to deal with is my fear and being poor too.But you have to take it one step at a time..Good Luck

Answer 4

If he wants to go to college he should.

I however would suggest a more "guided for a career" education, like a technical degree. College is great, but often leaves the graduate not fully prepared for a career.

Answer 5

If he feels intimidated about going back to school, but really wants that degree, some colleges offer online courses where someone can complete them at their own pace. But if you feel it will be beneficial for him to be exposed to more social situations remind him of hi stregnths and that we all have certain weaknesses and that it is ok, and tell him that the same lady is probably inept at certain things he is highly skilled at so he should not be intimidated by her. Good luck!

Answer 6

Yes, college is a right for anyone who wants a better opportunity. Are there any other schools around your area? Don't give up, when the going gets tough, it is when you must insist. And kudos for you for helping him out with his problem and being a great support.

Answer 7

Sure, let him go. There are classes for that, I should know. I'm working my degree in business and had many speech problems, but they worked with me and now I fine. They can't deny him an education or they can be sued. Encourge him to go, they will put him in the class he needs to be in.

Answer 8

Encourage him to try one class. There's a DVD called "the secret" or you can watch it on line for 5 dollars. In this movie there is a man that talks about how he was diagnosed as untrainable...he is a success now.

Answer 9

Encourage him to go to school, make sure he starts out slow with some easy courses that arent to overwhelming. I hope everything works out for him...theres nothing worse than someone telling you u cant do it even though u really havent tried it.

Answer 10

yes......just cause hes like that....doesnt mean he cant......

Im dyslexic and i struggle but i still keep going. im sure if he has the potential and perseverance. He can do it.

Support him in what he choses though, if he doesnt want to thats his decicion

hope all goes well