I do not have a job because my husband did not want me to work. Daycare costs for 3 kids is more than I could make in a week! We got an eviction notice for next Thursday-in the mail box today-he told me he paid the rent! Last week MY car was repossessed! He would not pay the payment. I am in college also-I have no family to stay with! I don't have a car! I don't have a job! He walked out and left tonight with all of his stuff and all he said was 'bye'. I don't want him back ever-he has been so horrible to me-I have got to get back on my feet somehow. Has anyone ever went through this? Where do I start?
2007-03-22 17:29:26 · 21 answers · asked by orangecat43 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
first off..don't listen to sarcasm. You and your kids have a serious need and it's immediate. Call a local church or your own church if you have one. Call a hot-line for spousal abuse...after all abandonment is abuse. If all else fails call your local police or sheriff's dept. They have contact numbers available to give to people in your situation or offer other suggestions of community service organizations that will be there for you in a heartbeat. You're probably correct about not taking your husband back...but now is the time to take care of immediate needs.....you can even call your children's school and ask to speak to the nurse or principal. These are all public servant organizations that you can tap into...Do it now....and..don't forget to pray....and be thankful in prayer when help arrives...and it will arrive
God Bless
2007-03-22 18:15:18 · answer #1 · answered by EvelynMine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get court ordered support immediately. I'm not sure if you can go to legal aid but I'd try that. If not, contact a divorce attorney to get the papers filed asap.
Do you have friends, since you don't have relatives? Anyone that can give you some guidance? Do you belong to a church or religious group? They can be a huge help. Even if you don't, contact one close to you to see what they can do to help you.
Its not right. So not right and good for you for saying you won't take him back - good for you.
I haven't been left by a husband - I left them ;-). However, I've had my electric disconnect 3 times in one week and been evicted. I truly feel your pain.
You will get through this - you will. Keep your kids close to you and you'll be safe. You've made the first step towards freedom. Its not always easy but it is doable...one step at a time.
I learned, as you will, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You'll be surprised at how strong you can get when you need to.
My very best to you.
PS...do not move out no matter what and do NOT let him in for ANY reason what-so-ever. Not for clothes, not for kids, not for anything. And don't allow the kids to let him in. He'll cry, beg or scream...don't allow him in. If he wants to talk he needs to go through your attorney NOT you. No matter what, don't talk to him.
Keep the house, keep the kids, keep everything.
2007-03-22 17:39:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer.
He needs to be paying child support and half of all daycare costs. That's pretty routine.
The next few months are going to be rough. I've been on my own for seven years with two kids. The beginning was the hardest because I had to get used to doing everything on my own. But, you can do it.
Check into student loans to possibly get you through and check into financial aid at your school. Tell them your circumstances have changed if you already applied this year. Also check with the school for part time employment. Most of the jobs there will work around your school schedule.
Good luck, hon.
2007-03-22 17:58:41 · answer #3 · answered by Marina D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Immediately get in touch with family services in your state and make arrangements for shelter or support. Contact SRS for support. Call an attorney!!! He abandoned you and put the kids in danger!! He is in big trouble, you may be able to get alimony and child support right away. Gather every bank statement or account information you can find. The attorney should be able to stop the eviction due to child endangerment. The courts always rule in support of kids well being. Take those actions iommediately..... Do not move out!!! an attorney should be able to extend you to around 6 months. The attorney will know what to do, family services has councilors, and SRS will have food, and money. Get busy!!!!
2007-03-22 17:38:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eviction notice means you have one month to stay there . Law no bs. Now if you claim hardship then you will have extra time. Go to the niebhoors and se who is willing to help with the kids a few days a week. Get a room mate. Sell his stuff.
Do what is nessecary, welfare food stamps. there are progrms out there.
what you have no family. none?
what about his?
Shelters are helpful. TIt hurts the pride only a little but if its what you have to do .do it for the children.
2007-03-22 17:36:27 · answer #5 · answered by sapboi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first thing you do is go to Social Services..they can help you with food and cash grant and try to help you get a place.
You tell them about him leaving and take his azz to court to get full custody and child support for the kids.
It depends on what staet you live in and there guidlines for helping you. But the sooner you get there the sooner they can help you . There migh also be a program called Housing or HUD or something like that, that can help you get a new place ASAP...
I'm so sorry your EX is such an azzhole...if you need to talk to someone feel free to contact me via messenger or email and I'll be here to help you. Local churchs can help you too !!!!!
2007-03-22 17:38:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you ma'am. The very first thing you should do is go to a Bible believing church and explain your situation to the Elders or such. As ambassadors of Christ, they will see to it that you have a place to live and support your kids until you can get on your feet. Jesus said "I give you a new commandment, and that is that you love one another". Love is seeking the other person's highest good, which in your case would be food, shelter and clothing. I will pray for you!
2007-03-22 17:38:36 · answer #7 · answered by Knobbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First - relax and remember to breathe. remember that you are strong and be confident that you can get through this and you will be a stronger person for it.
Second - work on a place to stay for you and kids. don't be proud - you just have to worry about food and space right now. get a job if you have to... ask family or friend for help.
Third - get a good lawyer quickly. do what you got to do now and save the emotions for later - when you are in a stronger position and not feeling helpless.
Attend to your immediate needs now.
2007-03-22 17:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by j_mang 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all you have options. Don't panic! Easier said than done (I'm a mom of 4) You can go to a woman's shelter for temp arrangements until you can get of your feet. Get every type of gov assistance you can. Arkids ins, foodstamps, assisted living assistance they even have a program to help pay for daycare. My heart aches for you and what your going through.
2007-03-22 17:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by dadmomdampier 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look for the nearest shelter in your area, and apply for govenment assistance as soon as possible. Go to the local churches and see who can help you out while you get on your feet. you can stay in a motel, and work at night while the kids sleep... but I feel for you. I ALSO RECOMMEND THAT YOU GO FIND A LAWYER IN THE YELLOW PAGES AND ASK THEM TO WORK PRO BONO FOR YOU SO THAT YOU CAN SEE SPOUSAL SUPPORT AND CHILD SUPPORT.
GOOD LUCK
2007-03-22 17:35:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋